I watched my best friend die yesterday [Archive]

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CasterTroy

09-06-2009, 07:03 AM

My best friend moved from basically my backyard down to Pittsboro NC a few years back when he lost his job in Greensboro. That didn’t stop us from riding almost every Saturday though as we would either meet in the middle or he’d come up my way, or I’d go down there.

LAST Saturday I went to him…so THIS week, he came to me. We wanted to hit the hard twisties near the parkway so it was a motard day. And since you don’t ride those an hour on the hiway, he came from Pittsboro, NC in his truck loaded with his KTM 950 SM.

He drove and hour and a half to my house where we unloaded at 10am and headed up Number 8 to unity church. We hit Squirrel spur and then had lunch at meadows of dan. At about 12:30 pm we hit the parkway and then shot down tuggles gap.

We were going along at a good clip. I was in the lead, and Brian was following doing his usual antics….wheelies on the straights. That KTM would bring the front up at 60 with just a bump of throttle.

About ½ down the mountain at about 1:20 I lost sight of his headlight, so instantly I stopped.

I’ve NEVER lost sight of Brian’s headlight behind me, as he’s MUST faster/better rider than I am

When I stopped I heard a “POP” in the woods. Like that of a tree limb breaking. My heart sunk. I turned around and within 100 yrds of where I stopped was a black mark 100ft long going straight off the road after a hairpin turn. I leaped off my bike to see Brian lying face-up on top of his bike 75 ft down the ravine. I tried to call 911 but got no reception. I ran down to him where his head was cocked to the side, face shield off, helmet cracked eyes wide open and the normally sky blue eyes, a milky white. His face was pressed up against his helmet where it looked like he wouldn’t be able to breathe. He wasn’t. I slapped his exposed stomach and yelled for him to wake up, but no response. I breathed in his nose and started chest compression, but as I breathed in, the exhale was gurgling and blood started flowing from his mouth.

I knew he was gone.

I ran back up the hill, jumped on the bike, and headed back up the road a ½ mile to a little shack. A Mexican male answered the door and I yelled 911. He handed me the phone, and I called it in. Jumped back on the bike to be by his side. I continued CPR when the guy who’s phone I used arrived. He didn’t speak English but asked if her could help in what little spanish I knew. I asked for him to stay up there to flag the EMS.

We were only 4 miles form the EMS so they arrived in less than a few minutes.

2 nurses first, from a close by hair salon.

They got to work on him.

5 minutes later 20 more volunteers, medics, and fire.

2 troopers soon arrived.

After 20 minutes they pronounced him dead on the scene. Broken neck, instantaneous. He felt nothing.

After an hour long roadside interview the troopers informed me NOT TO CONTACT his wife. They would do that. So I rode my bike down to the EMS where they made me stay and chill out.

I called my wife and told her we were having a great time and were taking a little longer to return.

After convincing the nurses I could get home (2hr ride when we’re kicking butt) I started the trek home. What do I tell my wife? OH GOD…JULIE (his wife) why can’t I call her? If it were ME I’d want HIM to be the one to call HER…what am I going to do?

I got home about 4pm and told Sharon. She fell to pieces….and swore right then I would never get back on a bike. I told her to NOT got there.

We both cried, then she called her parents to come up from Charlotte (1hr away) to help us cope.

They arrived after my shower….and we all talked.

It was decided that Sharon and I MUST drive the 1-1/2 long trip to his home to deliver the news PERSONALLY.

I called the troopers cell phone to see if they had deliver the news to Julie. They said NO, that they don’t like giving the news over the phone and would be contacting the sheriff to go to her house.

Julie didn’t get off work till 5:30 so we would beat her home

We arrived at 6:45 and beat her home. Since she worked in Raleigh her commute was about 45 minutes.

We waited for another 45 minutes when she pulled up. She got out of the car, saw my face and started crying. She said that the trooper had JUST called her in the car, made her pull over and told her. RIGHT BEFORE she got home.

She was in shock. She didn’t know what to do.

We tried to comfort her, but she just wanted to be alone and fall apart in private.

I asked if she knew where the guns were, and would she go there? She assured me she WOULD NOT.

After many hugs and “I love you’s” we left her alone. Her parents would be arriving soon.

PLEASE be in prayer for Julie. As well as Brian parents, brother and sister.

Brian was 42, and they were married for 25 years this past may. They didn’t have any children.

He was my best friend.

OneSickPsycho

09-06-2009, 07:24 AM

Jesus... No words could ever describe how sorry I am to hear this. You, your wife and his family will be in the forefront of my thoughts. If there is anything I can do, don't hesitate to ask.

RIP

karl_1052

09-06-2009, 07:59 AM

Wow Troy.

I don't know what to say. That is the most heartbreaking news I have ever read.

RIP Brian.

zer0t

09-06-2009, 08:03 AM

I read this a few minutes after you posted and couldn't collect my thoughts to respond. I cannot effectively express my sadness for your loss and what you experienced. My deepest sympathies to you and his family.

Tmall

09-06-2009, 08:10 AM

So sorry to hear that Troy. It's not to often I'm moved by bike accidents. But, I could barely finish reading this one.

RIP to Brian. You, yours and his wife will be in my thoughts.

MILK

09-06-2009, 08:26 AM

I am so sorry. That made me cry Troy. :( Rip Brian. My prayers are with your family and his family.

Trip

09-06-2009, 08:40 AM

I am so sorry troy. Please let any of us know if you need anything. RIP Brian...

VatorMan

09-06-2009, 08:55 AM

So sorry that happened. RIP Brian.

Cruzergirl

09-06-2009, 09:03 AM

So sorry for your loss. :( You are in my prayers...

pauldun170

09-06-2009, 09:14 AM

I am so sorry Troy. My deepest condolences and my heart goes out to Sharon as well as to you and yours..

neebelung

09-06-2009, 09:17 AM

I don't even know what to say... I can't even begin to imagine the pain and heartbreak you're all feeling. I am so sorry for your loss, and our prayers are with you, Julie, and both of your families..... RIP, Brian...

Scot

09-06-2009, 10:07 AM

I know how you feel Troy. Small mistakes can have big consequences. Hope you heal from this as well.

lauralynne

09-06-2009, 10:10 AM

I am so sorry. I will keep you, your wife, and Brian's wife in my thoughts as you go through the next painful days, weeks, months. I'm so very very sorry. RIP Brian.

racedoll

09-06-2009, 10:12 AM

This has me in tears! I'm so sorry for your loss.

Adeptus_Minor

09-06-2009, 10:19 AM

God... I don't even know what to say.
I'm so sorry, Troy. :(

tached1000rr

09-06-2009, 10:21 AM

Sorry to hear this Troy, this makes the second motorcycle related fatality that happened in NC this weekend.

marko138

09-06-2009, 10:24 AM

Wow. Sorry man.

Mr Lefty

09-06-2009, 10:32 AM

Wow... RIP Brian.... My thoughts are with Julie, his family, and you and your's Troy.

I know nothing anyone can say will make it any easier... but at least he didn't suffer and was doing what he loved with his best friend.

Please let us know if we can do ANYTHING to comfort you or his family.

RACER X

09-06-2009, 10:40 AM

damm troy sorry to hear that. theres not alot to be said in times like these.

you've got my number.

Godspeed Brian

HokieDNA01

09-06-2009, 10:55 AM

Troy, I'm so sorry to hear this. I will be thinking of your and Brian's family. RIP Brian.

goof2

09-06-2009, 11:03 AM

What a terrible tragedy. I can only imagine what must be running through your mind. I hope for the best for Brian's family as well as you and your family in trying to cope with this.

the chi

09-06-2009, 11:31 AM

What a terrible tragedy, I am so very sorry for you and for Brians family. My condolences and please, if theres anything we can do, let us know.

Dave

09-06-2009, 11:47 AM

sorry for your loss man, we'll keep all ya'll in prayer

jtemple

09-06-2009, 12:07 PM

I have no words...so sorry.

Flexin

09-06-2009, 12:07 PM

Sorry for your loss Troy.

RIP Brian.

James

azoomm

09-06-2009, 12:07 PM

Troy, i'm so sorry. Oh god, I can't imagine... How horrible. You are all in my thoughts.

julie j

09-06-2009, 12:10 PM

I am so very sorry for your loss. You all will be in my thoughts. If there is anything that we can do please do not hesitate to ask.

Kaneman

09-06-2009, 12:16 PM

Maybe its just because I've known (of) Troy for so long, but this is the first thread that has made my eyes well up.

As stated, if you need anything or to vent or whatever just holler.

Ducati Diva

09-06-2009, 12:22 PM

There is nothing I can say to ease your your pain but I an so sorry. You will all be in our thoughts and prayers. As said before if there's anything all you or her need all you have to do is ask.

EpyonXero

09-06-2009, 12:24 PM

Damn, dont know what to say.

Avatard

09-06-2009, 01:46 PM

Horrible. Simply without words...condolences, Troy.

Riceaholic

09-06-2009, 02:25 PM

So sorry Troy. You and the family are in my thoughts. RIP Brian...

njchopper87

09-06-2009, 03:41 PM

That's pretty rough.. my condolences to everyone.

RIP Brian

Bluestreak

09-06-2009, 03:56 PM

All of you will be in our prayers.

So sorry for your loss.

Archren

09-06-2009, 04:18 PM

Troy.. words cannot express..

My heart and my prayers go out to you and Brian and your families...

You know where I am.. and if you need to talk, I can be reached. We're here for you... if you need *anything*, please don't hesitate to ask.

buzzcutt2

09-06-2009, 04:33 PM

So sad and tragic...sorry to hear, I can't even imagine.

RIP

derf

09-06-2009, 04:38 PM

Thats tragic, thoughts go out to his wife and daughter

Antwanny

09-06-2009, 05:08 PM

Don't really know you but you seem like a cool enough guy, sorry to hear about the loss. Life takes a big shit on all of us from time to time.

Tsunami

09-06-2009, 06:16 PM

I'm so sorry Troy :cry:

RIP Brian

2up

09-06-2009, 06:49 PM

So sorry..... RIP Brian. No words...

psychochild28

09-06-2009, 06:53 PM

So sorry to hear that. Thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends

RIP Brian.

Amber Lamps

09-06-2009, 07:17 PM

I've been where you are three times and I still don't know what to say... I'm sorry man. This is the reason that I ride alone 90% of the time...

I can only echo what others have said, that at least he was doing what he loved to do when he went. It's all that any of us can ask for.

I must add my condolences to his family....:sorry:

ericr

09-06-2009, 07:28 PM

I'm sorry for Julie's loss and yours Troy. I don't have the words man, let me know if you need anything.

CasterTroy

09-06-2009, 07:59 PM

Amber Lamps

09-06-2009, 08:32 PM

Thank you everyone.....you ALL have lifted me up. I'm in anger mode now....mixed with emmense pain and grief....I can't spell nor comprehend..but THANK YOU ALL for your words. They mean more than you'll ever know

Well just take it easy and try to remember all the good things and times you had with Brian. Please don't dwell on the negatives if possible. Don't make any decisions and focus on the people that need you to be strong.

DIMford

09-06-2009, 08:44 PM

I am sorry to hear that.

Quick281

09-06-2009, 08:50 PM

So sorry to read this. RIP.

asdgirl

09-06-2009, 08:58 PM

Thank you everyone.....you ALL have lifted me up. I'm in anger mode now....mixed with emmense pain and grief....I can't spell nor comprehend..but THANK YOU ALL for your words. They mean more than you'll ever know

I'm so sorry honey. :(

RIP Brian.

I will keep all of you and your families in my prayers.

As Archren, said, we are all here for you and please let us know if you need anything. We're all a hop skip (and sometimes a flight) away.

PS: Do NOT FEEL GUILTY. Do NOT make this your fault! I say this because I saw you said you are in anger mode. You didn't do anything wrong, just please don't blame it on yourself. Be glad you were there with your best friend for his final ride. Trust me, he loves you for it. :cry:

*hugs*

Jet

09-06-2009, 09:27 PM

Jesus man, I'm so sorry to hear that.
There are no such things as words of comfort.
May he rest in peace.

was92v

09-06-2009, 09:45 PM

I'm sorry to hear that, our thoughts are with you and Brian's family.

Apoc

09-06-2009, 09:50 PM

RIP Brian.

Troy, im very sorry for your loss. Wish there was something I could say to change it, but I know there isnt. Best of luck to his family and you and yours.

Slowpoke

09-06-2009, 10:16 PM

So sorry for your loss. RIP Brian

JARVIS518

09-06-2009, 11:29 PM

RIP and sorry for ur loss

Leon

09-07-2009, 12:29 AM

Wow, I'm so sorry for your loss.

RIP.

CasterTroy

09-07-2009, 08:22 AM

Thanks everyone

Picking up the bike yesterday, 2 hours from the house....in Brian’s truck was painful. Seeing it mangled and twisted, a 6" section missing from the rear wheel, the subframe crushed and torqued to the side, and the forks going in 2 different directions was very painful. I loaded the bike up and took my wife 4 miles up the road to the spot where he died. She couldn’t understand how I even got down there.

For many of you who frequent the gap, this section of No. 8 is VERY similar to gravity cavity, and the ravine is about 75-100 ft down total. Brian lay at about 60 ft down.

After that we drove back down the mountain to the nearest town: Stuart, where his body was being kept at the funeral home. NOT the one Julie intended to use, but since the county didn’t have a morgue this was where he was taken.

I refused to see him…..seeing his milky white irises with eyes wide open and staring at me while I tried to do CPR was bad enough….I don’t need another image.

In fact….this picture was taken 30 minutes before the crash…THIS is how I will remember you Brian….Love you man!

zippychickie636

09-07-2009, 09:24 AM

I am soo sorry to hear this story. I don't know you troy but no one should ever have to experience the pain that I'm sure this entails. My heart and prayers go out to everyone that's hurting from this...

Angee

09-07-2009, 12:32 PM

r1chica

09-07-2009, 03:02 PM

There are no words to express my reaction to your story. My deepest condolences to you, your family and Brian's family. RIP Brian.

HokieDNA01

09-07-2009, 03:05 PM

Castertroy. I know you used to be on the Charlotte sportbike forums a few years ago. Do you remember a guy named Doug? His screen name is Hotwheels on there. He may be a good person to talk to. He had the EXACT same type accident occur with one of his friends (Heejun) on a ride 2 years ago where he watched him pass. If you know him (or even if not) he is a GREAT guy and may be able to give you coping ideas. He still rides all the time and every year sets up a tribute ride up 181 were the accident happened. It is very hard for those of us that have not experienced this type of tragedy to know what you are going through and to offer advice. He may be able to help. It has taken him some time but he has recovered enough to enjoy his bike again.

Just a thought.

CasterTroy

09-07-2009, 03:36 PM

Thats a great idea...thanks!

dReWpY

09-07-2009, 03:43 PM

my condolences and RIP, i am truly sorry to hear this, if you need anything or if twfix can help, just let us know

Particle Man

09-07-2009, 04:26 PM

Jesus Troy, I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I think it goes without saying that we are all here for you.

HokieDNA01

09-07-2009, 05:57 PM

SoFlaSV

09-07-2009, 08:06 PM

http://www.soflasportbikes.com/forum/images/smilies/rip.gif

CasterTroy

09-08-2009, 08:52 AM

LeeNetworX

09-08-2009, 08:56 AM

t-homo

09-08-2009, 09:06 AM

I know how scary it is when friends have minor wrecks on rides. I can't even imagine what you are going through right now. Stay strong, and remember him by the memories together, not the new things that you have learned.

shmike

09-08-2009, 09:15 AM

Troy,

I can't begin to imagine how you must feel right now. My deepest sympathies go out to you and all others who loved him.

I'm sorry you are getting more info than you wanted. Don't let anger or disappointment take over your heart. We all make mistakes and some people have more demons/skeletons than others.

Remember the Brian the you knew and loved for many years.

RIP, Brian.

CasterTroy

09-08-2009, 10:03 AM

We all make mistakes and some people have more demons/skeletons than others.

You're right.....I'm no freakin angel!!! Thanks for the perspective!

RACER X

09-08-2009, 10:10 AM

In fact….this picture was taken 30 minutes before the crash…THIS is how I will remember you Brian….Love you man!

this is how you should remember him..........

Krypt Keeper

09-08-2009, 10:24 AM

Sorry for your loss Troy.

Thats a great picture of him, and is how he should be remembered.

Dave

Krabill

09-08-2009, 10:26 AM

I had my best friend die while we were on a ride together. I was 12 and he was 13 years old. Your story brings it all back. The look in his face, the feeling of helplessness and desperation to get help.

I was the one to go tell his parents, and I was only 12 at the time.

I'm so sorry you had to go through it. Hang tough. Time helps to lighten the hurt, but it will never truly be gone.

CasterTroy

09-08-2009, 10:34 AM

I was the one to go tell his parents, and I was only 12 at the time.

Holy cow...I'm 37 and cried like a 5yr telling his wife. Thinking he's WAY too young (42) to go like that........I can't imagine being 12 and dealing with that.

Thanks for sharing that

AquaPython

09-08-2009, 10:37 AM

absolutely tragic. sorry for your loss.

just remember your best friend did not tell you, his best friend on this earth about his demons because he was ashamed of them. instead, he chose to give you his best, and that is what you should remember him by. Shmike is right, nobody is perfect, we all have our transgressions in life.

Krabill

09-08-2009, 10:42 AM

Holy cow...I'm 37 and cried like a 5yr telling his wife. Thinking he's WAY too young (42) to go like that........I can't imagine being 12 and dealing with that.

Thanks for sharing that

Kind of strange with the timing of your tragedy. I hadn't told my story in years, but recently made a trip back home to Michigan and visited the crash site. I tell pretty much the whole story here . . . about the middle of post #3 - for anybody interested in how a 12 year old deals with a very similar situation - http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=491773

Yamerhaw

09-08-2009, 01:02 PM

Holy shit man, i just dont know what to say, i've saw two of my good friends die while we were riding, its hard, my prayers go out for you and his family, RIP

Mr Lefty

09-08-2009, 08:32 PM

Kind of strange with the timing of your tragedy. I hadn't told my story in years, but recently made a trip back home to Michigan and visited the crash site. I tell pretty much the whole story here . . . about the middle of post #3 - for anybody interested in how a 12 year old deals with a very similar situation - http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=491773

an amazing read...

MissHell

09-08-2009, 10:01 PM

Troy - sorry for your loss. RIP :(

jermey

09-08-2009, 10:41 PM

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I will keep Brian's family in my prayers.

Cass

09-09-2009, 12:37 AM

Troy, my heart goes out to you, your wife, Brian's wife, and all who are affected by his passing. I am so very sorry for your loss :(

101lifts2

09-09-2009, 02:09 AM

As if this crap hasn't been tough enough........ more stuff has surfaced in his life that no one knows about (but ME now) and it's just more than I needed to EVER know or wanted to know.

Geez I don't need all this information.

SO dissapointed in him

What... u gonna leave us hangin? lol

I also thought you were divorced, no?

I've been through this a few times...it sucks. I lost a friend in 2003, then in 2006 both to cycle accidents AND my very good bud almost died in 2007. I was right behind him riding in the canyons when he crashed right up against the mountainside (lowsided). It's hard to swallow.....Even the best riders fall.

My prayers go out to his family and yours.

fnfalman

09-09-2009, 02:31 AM

Amber Lamps

09-09-2009, 02:37 AM

I remembered watching my buddy's truck gotten blown up by a mine and saw the remains of his body. I didn't have to tell his wife and kid that he died but later on when I returned home and went to see them, the wife said that she wanted nothing to do with the Army including the people that he served with. I never will forget the hatred she had in her eyes.

Sometimes the deads have it easy.

My condolences to you and even more so to his living family.

Yea when one of my buddies lost his leg in '96, his girlfriend freaked out on all of us at the hospital and accused us of crippling him... I also once saw a guy's Mom spit on the bikes at his funeral. It can be so tough sometimes for those left behind or that have to pick up the pieces.

CasterTroy

09-09-2009, 03:15 AM

I also thought you were divorced, no?

Yep.....2006

Remarried in may

Apoc

09-09-2009, 04:55 PM

Different woman though, right?

HurricaneHeather

09-09-2009, 05:55 PM

Well I shouldn't have read this at work...

Someone said it perfectly: Brian died painlessly doing what he loved with his best friend. We should all be so lucky.

I have no idea what you and his wife must be going through right now. My condolences.

MILK

09-09-2009, 09:30 PM

Different woman though, right?

Apoc! For shame! Start a new thread! (Although despite the topic of this thread your post made me giggle, couldn't help it..)

Troy I am so sorry you are going through this. Hokie is right about Doug though, he is a great guy and I know he would talk to you if you want to. I have his number and if you want me to give him your number send me a PM.

fasternyou929

09-09-2009, 09:48 PM

Troy, I wish I had something more helpful to say than I'm sorry. Your post was so moving I almost had to stop reading it. Take care of yourself and don't pressure yourself to decide right away whether or not riding is something you want to continue doing. There's nothing wrong with taking a break for a while and letting yourself heal.

I hope you don't mind, but our local board had a vague thread started about this and I pointed them here for information. Your local riding family has you, your family, and your friend's family in their thoughts: http://www.ncsportbikes.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=19554&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

CasterTroy

09-09-2009, 10:09 PM

Apoc

09-09-2009, 10:28 PM

Apoc! For shame! Start a new thread! (Although despite the topic of this thread your post made me giggle, couldn't help it..)

Troy I am so sorry you are going through this. Hokie is right about Doug though, he is a great guy and I know he would talk to you if you want to. I have his number and if you want me to give him your number send me a PM.

I already gave my condolences, and we were on the topic, it seemed appropriate at the time?

Hindsights 20/20. Troy knows I meant no disrespect.

And Troy, funerals are the worst thing in the world. The only thing that can make you more miserable than you already are, is being around 100 other people who feel the same.

Take some time alone, with your kids and wife. Appreciate what you've got and be thankful for it, and remember him well.

fasternyou929

09-09-2009, 10:32 PM

Thanks.....Do me a favor and remove the familys last name....I've been asked to take stuff down so his wife and mother do not find the posts on google.

The funeral was tonight.......I lost it when they rolled him out

I removed the name - sorry, didn't realize you had taken that out of the postings.

Someone mentioned on NCS the funeral was tonight. Once again, I wish I had something better to offer than my condolences.

CasterTroy

09-09-2009, 10:47 PM

.

Someone mentioned on NCS the funeral was tonight. Once again, I wish I had something better to offer than my condolences.

I appreciate it more than you can know!

Thank you!

Kerry_129

09-10-2009, 12:02 AM

So sorry, Troy. :(

I lost a friend to a freak track accident a few years ago, and it still makes me tear up to think of him occasionally. As others have said - just remember him well.

I do think Doug would be a good guy to talk too, as he's a great guy and had been dealing with the after-effects of a similar situation for the last 13 months (though the person who passed wasn't as close to him as Brian was to you). His screen-name on charlottesportbikes is Hotwheels.

Hang in there, man.

AquaPython

09-10-2009, 09:33 AM

kerry , i am curious now, what is a "freak track accident" ?

z06boy

09-10-2009, 11:29 AM

I just got back from a week in California and haven't been online until this morning and saw this on another site. Very sorry to hear. :no:

Kerry_129

09-10-2009, 01:26 PM

kerry , i am curious now, what is a "freak track accident" ?

Just a dinky low-speed low-side on cold tires during a warm-up lap before a novice race. Ordinarily wouldn't have amounted to anything, but the timing & the weird way he spun was such that the guy behind him wasn't able to avoid running over him (made a good attempt, but then my friend spun right back in front of his wheels, from what I heard).

Sorry for the hi-jack Troy, but my friends accident as well as Brian's just illustrates how on a motorcycle things can go bad so quickly. All it takes is that small mistake, or the convergence of the wrong variables. I remember Trent's funeral, hearing his mom sobbing, and the look on his brother's face (who was at the track with him) like it was yesterday. :( Hang in there, Troy.

Be as safe as circumstances allow and always keep the guard up out there, everyone.

CasterTroy

09-10-2009, 02:12 PM

Sorry for the hi-jack Troy

No need to be sorry....I wanted to know as well...as one of my options may be track riding.

We all needed/wanted to hear that.