View Full Version : what do i do?
Dragonpaco
11-29-2009, 04:50 AM
my roomate/ best friend has been in AA for about 2 months now and he has been doing really well. i come home from work just now and find an unopened bottle of whiskey on the coffee table and him asleep on the couch, how the fuck should i confront him; especially because i came home drunk and found it, i cant really yell at him because it's his own life but i cant turn a blind eye to it because he's been doing really well with his sobriety. advice?
mutley
11-29-2009, 05:33 AM
it was not opend so wait and see what he says mabe ?
HurricaneHeather
11-29-2009, 05:57 AM
Yeah, if it was unopened maybe he was struggling, bought it and then talked himself out of drinking it?
I know this sounds girly, but maybe sit down and ask him how he's doing with it in a completely non-judgemental way. Ask him if he wants to talk about it and if he does, let him talk. He might actually appreciate you being his out-of-meeting accountability partner.
askmrjesus
11-29-2009, 10:19 AM
Drink the Whiskey.
Problem solved.
JC
jtemple
11-29-2009, 10:25 AM
Nothing you can do is going to keep him from relapsing. He has to do it himself. If you lecture him, chances are good he'll just shut down and start drinking.
I know this sounds girly, but maybe sit down and ask him how he's doing with it in a completely non-judgemental way. Ask him if he wants to talk about it and if he does, let him talk. He might actually appreciate you being his out-of-meeting accountability partner.
That is good advice. Don't approach him like you are going to chew his ass for thinking about drinking. An addict will never stop thinking about it. You have to go to him unbiased, and just let him talk.
mutley
11-29-2009, 10:31 AM
Drink the Whiskey.
Problem solved.
JC
i dont like whisky gross , but a choclate bailes over ice mmmmmm
Angee
11-29-2009, 10:42 AM
Put a note on it that simply says "Need someone to talk to?". This time of year is hard on people, especially those in recovery. Maybe he just needs an ear.
If he is bad enough to go to AA, you should open the whiskey and pour it out. Seriously
It's really none of your business unless it starts affecting your business, like him not paying the rent; and you have no standing if you are drinking also....
JMHO
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
JMHO
As an addict (pain killers), clean for 2 years now, I can tell you there is nothing you can say that will change his mind. If he wants to stay sober, he will, if he doesnt, he wont. Just remind him he has people to talk to.
jtemple
11-29-2009, 11:50 AM
If he is bad enough to go to AA, you should open the whiskey and pour it out. SeriouslyBeen there, done that. It won't solve anything. If he wants to drink, he's going to. It doesn't matter what you say. The best you can do is just listen and offer support. If you piss him off, it'll just get worse.
racedoll
11-29-2009, 11:55 AM
As an addict (pain killers), clean for 2 years now, I can tell you there is nothing you can say that will change his mind. If he wants to stay sober, he will, if he doesnt, he wont. Just remind him he has people to talk to.
I would have to agree with this. Just be there as support.
azoomm
11-29-2009, 01:02 PM
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
JMHO
:dthumb:
He's a grown-up.
He will choose to stay sober, or drink again. HIS choice.
If you want to support him, go to al-anon.
Unless, of course, you can say "I love you" boop
OneSickPsycho
11-29-2009, 02:20 PM
Drink the Whiskey.
Problem solved.
JC
Absolutely. Since he quit drinking, he obviously bought it for you anyway. I'd thank him after regaining consciousness.
wildchild
11-29-2009, 08:33 PM
when i quit smoking i kept a pack of smokes for a year. when it was time to get rid of them i had 'em out looking at them for a bit. just a thought he may have had it all along and is now ready to get rid of it.
i would ask him about it.
z06boy
11-30-2009, 10:34 AM
Is it possible he bought it as a gift for someone else since it is the holiday season...I mean since he's been doing so well ? I guess I wouldn't do anything until I had a chance to talk to him. :idk:
Rider
11-30-2009, 10:54 AM
Like already mentioned, could have been a gift for someone or maybe even a gift for him from someone who didn't know he was in AA. :idk: It was unopened so that showed he had a little restraint right there. Just say to him, "I saw that bottle of whiskey on the table, who are you giving that to as a present" see what he says.
RACER X
11-30-2009, 10:59 AM
when he's passed out, kick'em in the nutts
Absolutely. Since he quit drinking, he obviously bought it for you anyway. I'd thank him after regaining consciousness. :lol:
Like most said, it's his choice whether he drinks or not..
Drink the Whiskey.
Problem solved.
JC
agree
pauldun170
11-30-2009, 01:46 PM
when he's passed out, kick'em in the nutts
ball tap?
Is it possible he bought it as a gift for someone else since it is the holiday season...I mean since he's been doing so well ? I guess I wouldn't do anything until I had a chance to talk to him. :idk:
No... Its not.
That'd be like me having a bag of oxy's and saying its 'just in case I get hurt'..
Its also not the same as quitting smoking and carrying a pack of cigarettes around.
He bought the bottle intending to drink it. Obviously he hadn't yet, but he didnt buy it to look at.
Dragonpaco
11-30-2009, 02:29 PM
well i talked to him, he bought it because he had a bad day, didnt drink any of it and told me that there's not a damn thing i can do to stop him from drinking and it pretty much all falls on him which i understand. i told him i'm a phone call away if he needs to talk (i was at work at the time). and i drank the whiskey and just to show him i mean buisness i went to his brothers house and smoked his brothers weed. all in all it was a good talk, at least from my perspective.
z06boy
11-30-2009, 03:32 PM
No... Its not.
That'd be like me having a bag of oxy's and saying its 'just in case I get hurt'..
Its also not the same as quitting smoking and carrying a pack of cigarettes around.
He bought the bottle intending to drink it. Obviously he hadn't yet, but he didnt buy it to look at.
That's not even close to what I said or implied. :wtfru:
It's not anything like a bag of oxy's...that doesn't even make sense. I only asked if he may have bought it for someone else as a gift...it is the holiday season you know.
The last post explained it so we all now know but we didn't at the time of my post.
Who said it was anything like a pack of cigs laying around ? I've bought bottles of whiskey for gifts and received them but not a pack of cigs or a bag of oxy's. :lol
That's not even close to what I said or implied. :wtfru:
It's not anything like a bag of oxy's...that doesn't even make sense. I only asked if he may have bought it for someone else as a gift...it is the holiday season you know.
The last post explained it so we all now know but we didn't at the time of my post.
Who said it was anything like a pack of cigs laying around ? I've bought bottles of whiskey for gifts and received them but not a pack of cigs or a bag of oxy's. :lol
i was just pointing out, addicts dont buy there drug of choice as gifts, or 'just because'...
z06boy
11-30-2009, 03:54 PM
i was just pointing out, addicts dont buy there drug of choice as gifts, or 'just because'...
Definitely not 'just because' and I didn't suggest that and I agree.
The gift part...well I've seen it done. I've been given bourbon by people that don't drink but used to and at least one of them had a major problem at one time. It wasn't someone I hang out with but a coworker and they knew I liked Wild Turkey and they bought me a bottle of 108 proof Rare Breed barrel proof Wild Turkey. I didn't drink it around them of course since I only see them at work...especially since I carry a handgun and drive VIP's as part of my job. :lol:
The gift part...well I've seen it done. I've been given bourbon by people that don't drink but used to and at least one of them had a major problem at one time.
But, I bet he's been sober a long time and has learned to deal with it in better ways. Sounds like, in this case, the guy is very recently clean. Addiction never goes away, but it gets better with time. I doubt your friend was buying bottles for family straight out of detox.
t-homo
11-30-2009, 06:38 PM
Definitely not 'just because' and I didn't suggest that and I agree.
The gift part...well I've seen it done. I've been given bourbon by people that don't drink but used to and at least one of them had a major problem at one time. It wasn't someone I hang out with but a coworker and they knew I liked Wild Turkey and they bought me a bottle of 108 proof Rare Breed barrel proof Wild Turkey. I didn't drink it around them of course since I only see them at work...especially since I carry a handgun and drive VIP's as part of my job. :lol:
[side note] how the hell do you land a job like that? [/side note]
Particle Man
11-30-2009, 08:00 PM
the fact that he didn't drink it should make him very proud of himself
and maybe at some point he'll get to where he won't even buy it to begin with.
it's good that you weren't a dick to him without finding out what happened.
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