Funerals

[azoomm]

Hypothetical....

Someone dies in a motorcycle wreck.
He has no wife or children.
His mother has always been anti-motorcycle.
She is hysterical at the news of his death and blame everything motorcycle... his riding group, his friends, his motorcycle "I knew that thing would kill him one day"

Given the reaction, would you ride to the funeral?

[Rider]

Yes.

[Rangerscott]

If it was a group ride, then yes. If not then 4 wheels.

It was his life, not his mothers.

[CrazyKell]

Fortunately I've never been in this situation.

I probably wouldn't ride to the funeral since it's not a "riding situation" for me. :idk: If it were a large group showing it out of solidarity or whatever, well I might consider it.

But for the most part, I'd want to respect the mother and not aggravate her on an already terrible day in her life. :(

[Cutty72]

I wouldn't because riding the motorcycle is not conducive to wearing a suit and tie.

However, I would not let the mothers outlook affect how I got to the funeral. Granted, my relationship with the mother, and with the deceased, would play a major deciding factor as well.

[Sean]

No.

Funerals are about the supporting living, not about the dead.

[smileyman]

No. Funerals are all about respecting the family, even if they are off base.

[pauldun170]

No.

Funerals are about the supporting living, not about the dead.

No. Funerals are all about respecting the family, even if they are off base.

Those

[shmike]

No.

Why would you ride? As a tribute? Is there a group ride in his honor? Do it after the funeral.

I wouldn't ride to a funeral under normal circumstances.

[azoomm]

Would it change your outlook if the accident was in town in traffic - i.e. hit by a car, etc. OR, if the accident was on a group ride with his friends?

[Rangerscott]

No.

Funerals are about the supporting living, not about the dead.

No. Funerals are for celebrating the deceased life. Of course you're going to be sad but that isn't goin to brig someone back. I balled my eyes out when a friend of mine died. It didnt bring him back so I think o the crazy stuff he did.

[askmrjesus]

No.

His mother has enough on her mind as it is.

JC

[CrazyKell]

Would it change your outlook if the accident was in town in traffic - i.e. hit by a car, etc. OR, if the accident was on a group ride with his friends?

No. Like others have said it's about supporting, and having respect for the living. Why would someone want to antagonize that?

[EpyonXero]

I wouldn't because riding the motorcycle is not conducive to wearing a suit and tie.



Yep.

[pauldun170]

Would it change your outlook if the accident was in town in traffic - i.e. hit by a car, etc. OR, if the accident was on a group ride with his friends?

No

If he died in a parachuting accident I'm not skydiving to the funeral home.

I go to a funeral to pay my respects to the family and say goodbye. I'm certainly not going to funeral service one motorcycle when I know the mothers position on the matter.
However, if i was a self absorbed prick who only cared about how I felt about the matter and could give two shits about how his mother felt on the day she buries her son then I would get all my buddies together and in a show of solidarity all ride into the funeral home and do fucking burnouts right in front of the coffin as while some tasty bitches poor beer into the casket.
Screw the mom....
Ride or die
tits or get the fuck out old lady.

We'd probably hire some strippers to give the cadaver a lap dance.

[z06boy]

Hypothetical....

Someone dies in a motorcycle wreck.
He has no wife or children.
His mother has always been anti-motorcycle.
She is hysterical at the news of his death and blame everything motorcycle... his riding group, his friends, his motorcycle "I knew that thing would kill him one day"

Given the reaction, would you ride to the funeral?


Probably not...I would want to for him but would most likely just try to be sensitive to her feelings.

She's just caught up in the moment and her emotions are obviously extra strong right now and will hopefully get over it (blaming everything motorcycle) in time. I wouldn't want to throw fuel on the fire. :idk:

[ontwo]

I would respect the wishes of the family UNLESS my friend made it clear, as I have to my friends, that my riding friends come on theie bikes to pay their respects

[shmike]

However, if i was a self absorbed prick who only cared about how I felt about the matter and could give two shits about how his mother felt on the day she buries her son then I would get all my buddies together and in a show of solidarity all ride into the funeral home and do fucking burnouts right in front of the coffin as while some tasty bitches poor beer into the casket.
Screw the mom....
Ride or die
tits or get the fuck out old lady.

We'd probably hire some strippers to give the cadaver a lap dance.

I changed my mind.

This is the correct answer.

1/4 mile at a time.

Gangsta.

[z06boy]

I changed my mind.

This is the correct answer.

1/4 mile at a time.

Gangsta.

:rofl: Just read his post so I need to change my answer too.

[HokieDNA01]

I would not ride for the reasons others have mentioned. Plus if the mother is distraught it may cause an out burst from her that will cause a scene. You never know. Your friend is gone, ride for him afterwards. Funerals are a greiving process for the family, not the dead.

[fasternyou929]

Yes.

How do you feel about the protestors that antagonize families during their time of grief?

[askmrjesus]

How do you feel about the protestors that antagonize families during their time of grief?

We have a bingo.

JC

[azoomm]

How do you feel about the protestors that antagonize families during their time of grief?

Deep Thought of the day....

Thank you.

[sherri_chickie]

I wouldn't. If you wanted to ride in his honour I would arrange one after the funeral and out of eye sight of his mom. Grief makes people do and say some stupid things and not act rationally, so I wouldn't want to aggravate her pain.

[Rider]

How do you feel about the protestors that antagonize families during their time of grief?

You think I was serious? :lol

[Cruzergirl]

No in general. But that did happen here a few years ago. The mother was totally against motorcycles and did not want a thing to do with them at the funeral. His friends ALL rode to the funeral home and afterward the mother was crying as she told them how much her son would have appreciated the show of friendship.

I guess it depends on the situation.

ETA: It also depends on my friend (the rider). What would he/she want? Am I close enough to know? If not, I wouldn't ride.

[z06boy]

How do you feel about the protestors that antagonize families during their time of grief?

Protesters------->:overkill:<-------Me

I hate those mofo's...good point.

[marko138]

No

If he died in a parachuting accident I'm not skydiving to the funeral home.

I go to a funeral to pay my respects to the family and say goodbye. I'm certainly not going to funeral service one motorcycle when I know the mothers position on the matter.
However, if i was a self absorbed prick who only cared about how I felt about the matter and could give two shits about how his mother felt on the day she buries her son then I would get all my buddies together and in a show of solidarity all ride into the funeral home and do fucking burnouts right in front of the coffin as while some tasty bitches poor beer into the casket.
Screw the mom....
Ride or die
tits or get the fuck out old lady.

We'd probably hire some strippers to give the cadaver a lap dance.


Well done. This is insanely funny to me.

[skiergirl]

I'm with the rest - out of respect for his family and their feelings I wouldn't antagonize and rub what she see's as the object that killed her son in her face. Agree or disagree with her feelings on bikes, this is not the place to make a point.

[wildchild]

yes i would.

I had a friend die who i used to play guitar with and hang out in bars with a lot. we always joked around that if one of us dies we want to be buried in boots and jeans and the other would come to the funeral wearing the same.
he died a couple months later at a very young age. I showed up at his funeral as asked by him. I was the only one there that way. funny after the service one of his other buddies asked me to play one of my bud's guitars before they closed the casket.
you go to a funeral to pay your last respects to the one who died.

[Flexin]

Maybe. I have rode to one before but it wasn't because of a motorcycle. Even if she hates motorcycles it might make her feel good that people would do that for him.

Someone could even talk to the family and let someone know that a group wants to ride there out of respect for him.

It was a car that hit him so is everyone going to take the bus?

And what about the people that only own a bike? They need to get there. What if they know him and don't know about his mothers hate for bikes?

James

[udman]

yes i would.

I had a friend die who i used to play guitar with and hang out in bars with a lot. we always joked around that if one of us dies we want to be buried in boots and jeans and the other would come to the funeral wearing the same.
he died a couple months later at a very young age. I showed up at his funeral as asked by him. I was the only one there that way. funny after the service one of his other buddies asked me to play one of my bud's guitars before they closed the casket.
you go to a funeral to pay your last respects to the one who died.

I think this situation is different. You guys discussed it beforehand while Zoomies hypothetical did not. If the friend made it clear they wanted bikes at their funeral then there better be bikes at the funeral, otherwise no. New rule for every group ride; ask everyone how they want to be buried before the ride begins. That oughta get the noobs a little more contemplative about that blind curve coming up.

[Adeptus_Minor]

I would not ride for the reasons others have mentioned. Plus if the mother is distraught it may cause an out burst from her that will cause a scene. You never know. Your friend is gone, ride for him afterwards. Funerals are a greiving process for the family, not the dead.

I like how Kathy put it. :dthumb:

[Trip]

It's a dick move to the mom. No need to upset her when she lost her child.

If you lost your daughter to something like this, would you like it if one of her friends showed up supporting the very thing that took your child's life? It's got to be hard enough to lose a child without people wanting to be douchebags to you at the funeral. Almost Fred Phelpish.

[Apoc]

If it were a large group ride to the funeral, then yes. Alone, no, I wouldnt.

I would want my friends to ride to mine if I died on a bike.

[the chi]

If it were a large group ride to the funeral, then yes. Alone, no, I wouldnt.

I would want my friends to ride to mine if I died on a bike.

100%.

If the friend didnt mention anything, then probably no though. I know if I go on my bike I want a damn parade and some good music, bbq and a party. My mom will hate it, but everyone knows my wishes. And cremate me I can travel to all the places I loved.

[Cruzergirl]

100%.

If the friend didnt mention anything, then probably no though. I know if I go on my bike I want a damn parade and some good music, bbq and a party. My mom will hate it, but everyone knows my wishes. And cremate me I can travel to all the places I loved.

Exactly. And Mom WOULD hate it but on the other hand she would LOVE the fact that there was so much support, no matter how it showed up at the funeral home.

[Cutty72]

It's a dick move to the mom. No need to upset her when she lost her child.

If you lost your daughter to something like this, would you like it if one of her friends showed up supporting the very thing that took your child's life? It's got to be hard enough to lose a child without people wanting to be douchebags to you at the funeral. Almost Fred Phelpish.

So if a parent hated that their child had joined the military, and then was killed while serving, should that soldier/sailer/airman not get a military funeral and insist that none of his/her friends and brothers/sisters in arms wear Class A's to the funeral?

[karl_1052]

Depends. Is the mom hot?:D

[HokieDNA01]

yes i would.

I had a friend die who i used to play guitar with and hang out in bars with a lot. we always joked around that if one of us dies we want to be buried in boots and jeans and the other would come to the funeral wearing the same.
he died a couple months later at a very young age. I showed up at his funeral as asked by him. I was the only one there that way. funny after the service one of his other buddies asked me to play one of my bud's guitars before they closed the casket.
you go to a funeral to pay your last respects to the one who died.

but boots/jeans/guitars weren't a cause of death. I would want to discuss it with the mother first and see how she feels. I would not show up on bikes unannounced.

[wildchild]

I think this situation is different. You guys discussed it beforehand while Zoomies hypothetical did not. If the friend made it clear they wanted bikes at their funeral then there better be bikes at the funeral, otherwise no. New rule for every group ride; ask everyone how they want to be buried before the ride begins. That oughta get the noobs a little more contemplative about that blind curve coming up.


very true. I guess I just assumed if friend was in your riding group it would have been talked about. I am like many others here, better be bikes, beer(after bikes are parked), and lots of fun. cremate and spread me around on the fun roads.

[Trip]

So if a parent hated that their child had joined the military, and then was killed while serving, should that soldier/sailer/airman not get a military funeral and insist that none of his/her friends and brothers/sisters in arms wear Class A's to the funeral?

In respect to the parents I would say yes, a funeral is not the place to be douchebag and try to force your opinion on the grieving family even if it is something like this. If the soldier was smart he would of stuck it in his will and then his parents wouldn't get an option. He is getting a military funeral.

I love motorcycles and if I was killed on one, I would completely understand if my wife and mother forbid them at the funeral. I'm dead, what I think doesn't matter anymore, but I would want my family comforted and not have my idiot friends be douchebags to them when they are in a really bad spot.

[Gas Man]

I wouldn't because riding the motorcycle is not conducive to wearing a suit and tie.

However, I would not let the mothers outlook affect how I got to the funeral. Granted, my relationship with the mother, and with the deceased, would play a major deciding factor as well.

Fuck wearing a suit and tie. I'm at the point in my life where I'll ride my MC to about anything I F'in choose. I ride to church, BBQs, work, on the job site. I'm a biker, deal with it!

No.

Why would you ride? As a tribute? Is there a group ride in his honor? Do it after the funeral.

I wouldn't ride to a funeral under normal circumstances.

See as I said... I would.

yes i would.

I had a friend die who i used to play guitar with and hang out in bars with a lot. we always joked around that if one of us dies we want to be buried in boots and jeans and the other would come to the funeral wearing the same.
he died a couple months later at a very young age. I showed up at his funeral as asked by him. I was the only one there that way. funny after the service one of his other buddies asked me to play one of my bud's guitars before they closed the casket.
you go to a funeral to pay your last respects to the one who died.

THIS!

If you rode with the guy/gal and that is what you two shared then ride.

[Flexin]

It's a dick move to the mom. No need to upset her when she lost her child.

If you lost your daughter to something like this, would you like it if one of her friends showed up supporting the very thing that took your child's life? It's got to be hard enough to lose a child without people wanting to be douchebags to you at the funeral. Almost Fred Phelpish.

I want to be a fire fighter. My family will not be happy if something happens to me I think my family would be happy to see firefighters to come dressed to show support.

James

[Trip]

I want to be a fire fighter. My family will not be happy if something happens to me I think my family would be happy to see firefighters to come dressed to show support.

James

If your family agrees with it, this discussion is null and doesn't matter. I was specifically talking the discussion about if your family goes off the deep end and hates everything about what you did.

[Flexin]

In respect to the parents I would say yes, a funeral is not the place to be douchebag and try to force your opinion on the grieving family even if it is something like this. If the soldier was smart he would of stuck it in his will and then his parents wouldn't get an option. He is getting a military funeral.

I love motorcycles and if I was killed on one, I would completely understand if my wife and mother forbid them at the funeral. I'm dead, what I think doesn't matter anymore, but I would want my family comforted and not have my idiot friends be douchebags to them when they are in a really bad spot.

Just showing up on a motorcycle isn't a douchebag move. If they act up then yes but just showing up isn't. Everyone deals with it differently. Some laugh, some cry.

[Trip]

Just showing up on a motorcycle isn't a douchebag move. If they act up then yes but just showing up isn't. Everyone deals with it differently. Some laugh, some cry.

It is if the family has gone crazy like the OP said and you knew they would be upset if you showed up on one.

[Flexin]

If your family agrees with it, this discussion is null and doesn't matter. I was specifically talking the discussion about if your family goes off the deep end and hates everything about what you did.

My mother didn't want me riding but I think she would be happy that people can for me no matter what they drive\ride. If I think of it I will ask mom how she would feel.

James

[fasternyou929]

Just showing up on a motorcycle isn't a douchebag move. If they act up then yes but just showing up isn't. Everyone deals with it differently. Some laugh, some cry.


Just showing up on a motorcycle isn't a douchebag move. If they act up then yes but just showing up isn't. Everyone deals with it differently. Some laugh, some cry.

You must've missed the first post, the context of which is important when reading the replies in this thread.

Hypothetical....

Someone dies in a motorcycle wreck.
He has no wife or children.
His mother has always been anti-motorcycle.
She is hysterical at the news of his death and blame everything motorcycle... his riding group, his friends, his motorcycle "I knew that thing would kill him one day"

Given the reaction, would you ride to the funeral?

[Flexin]

You must've missed the first post, the context of which is important when reading the replies in this thread.

I read it all before posting.

James

[Trip]

I read it all before posting.

James

well you are applying what I said to situations that aren't what the OP suggested.

My answer (like pretty much everyone else in the world) will vary if you change the situation.

[dReWpY]

I would if the group did so, but i would take the car if i would be the only one... if a car was an option though

[Rangerscott]

but boots/jeans/guitars weren't a cause of death. I would want to discuss it with the mother first and see how she feels. I would not show up on bikes unannounced.


Neither was his bike. He could have been walking, riding a bicycle, driving a car, etc etc and still die. He just happened to be on his moto.

I do agree on talking to someone before doing a group ride.

[HokieDNA01]

Neither was his bike. He could have been walking, riding a bicycle, driving a car, etc etc and still die. He just happened to be on his moto.

I do agree on talking to someone before doing a group ride.

Your still comparing apples to oranges. Riding a motorcycle to a funeral where the death involved a motorcycle is not the same as wearing jeans cause the deceased liked jeans or playing a guitar cause he liked guitar. Parents don't fear jeans and guitars. My mom has a VERY real fear of my motorcycle and I have to convience her often that it makes me happy and that it is worth the risk.

[Rangerscott]

Your still comparing apples to oranges. Riding a motorcycle to a funeral where the death involved a motorcycle is not the same as wearing jeans cause the deceased liked jeans or playing a guitar cause he liked guitar. Parents don't fear jeans and guitars. My mom has a VERY real fear of my motorcycle and I have to convience her often that it makes me happy and that it is worth the risk.



Well, thats part of life. I understand every side. I'm not really choosing one. Go in 4 wheels, go on 2, hell go in a fucking helicopter. I dont care. I just see it as it was his life. Parents can hold on to their kids as much as they "think" they can but he bought a bike to ride, to enjoy, and to take risk. His mom can blame motorcycles all she wants. Its not going to bring her son back or mostly change anyone's mind to get off of one.

Showing up on a motorcycle as a means of transportation is not a dick move. Not every bike owner uses his/her bike to make their dicks/vag bigger. Its a mean to get to places. Now if someone shows up revving their engines and flipping people off that hate moto's then yes, that would be a dick move.

Her son was killed in an accident, not by some serial killer. Now if he was and the killer requested to be at the boys funeral. Now I can see a crazy shit storm happening.

[pauldun170]

So if your friend was big into snakes (and eaten by his pet snake) and his mom hated snakes would it be inappropriate to reenact the scene from Indiana Jones where they are in that room filled with snakes even though your buddy made you pinky swear to that if either of you died that the other would organize a 10 man dancing troop to do an interpretive dance version of that one scene (with detailed instructions on style of dress and accents?)

I iknow the man hates snakes and is fricken mortified by them, but you pinky swore to a fallen brother.

[pauldun170]

As for the folks who would organize a ride in spite of the mom, what if she had stocked the refrigerator with Sunny-D?
Doesn't that count for anything?

[Rangerscott]

Here's a definition of a dick move that I got to see first hand.


Brother calls his father to tell him that his wife can not come to their wedding. She's not mean or anything. Just doesn't want her there.

[pauldun170]

Here's a definition of a dick move that I got to see first hand.


Brother calls his father to tell him that his wife can not come to their wedding. She's not mean or anything. Just doesn't want her there.

Damn

[OneSickPsycho]

Fortunately I've never been in this situation.

I probably wouldn't ride to the funeral since it's not a "riding situation" for me. :idk: If it were a large group showing it out of solidarity or whatever, well I might consider it.

But for the most part, I'd want to respect the mother and not aggravate her on an already terrible day in her life. :(

Agreed. A funeral is not the time to prove a point.

[Trip]

Brother calls his father to tell him that his wife can not come to their wedding. She's not mean or anything. Just doesn't want her there.

It's the brothers wedding, he can pick who is invited. Same with the mom, she can refuse entrance to people riding motorcycles.

[Rangerscott]

It's the brothers wedding, he can pick who is invited. Same with the mom, she can refuse entrance to people riding motorcycles.


I'm a Dick, but I'm not that big of a dick. If there was no other way for a person to show up to the funeral and had to ride his/her bike then that would be ok. I would never deprive someone from a funeral.


Probably show up to almost "late" and park in the back or "hidden."



My friend died by being thrown out the truck and it landing on him. He did not have his seatbelt on. If I was his dad and one of his friends comes driving up to the funeral home and not wearing his seatbelt. I'm not gonna go up to him and say, "Hey. Get the fuck out of here you non-seatbelt wearing fucker. You're the reason my son is dead."

[Trip]

I'm a Dick, but I'm not that big of a dick. If there was no other way for a person to show up to the funeral and had to ride his/her bike then that would be ok. I would never deprive someone from a funeral.

Probably show up to almost "late" and park in the back or "hidden."

My friend died by being thrown out the truck and it landing on him. He did not have his seatbelt on. If I was his dad and one of his friends comes driving up to the funeral home and not wearing his seatbelt. I'm not gonna go up to him and say, "Hey. Get the fuck out of here you non-seatbelt wearing fucker. You're the reason my son is dead."

I am not endorsing this position in anyway. I just think you shouldn't use someone's funeral to force your opinion on the family even if they are wrong. You can choose another way to say goodbye to your buddy.

[Rangerscott]

I am not endorsing this position in anyway. I just think you shouldn't use someone's funeral to force your opinion on the family even if they are wrong. You can choose another way to say goodbye to your buddy.


So if OP has NO OTHER WAY to get to the funeral to see HIS dead FRIEND, then OP should not even go, but if he goes then he's a dick and not the family. Got ya.

[Trip]

So if OP has NO OTHER WAY to get to the funeral to see HIS dead FRIEND, then OP should not even go, but if he goes then he's a dick and not the family. Got ya.

I am sure they could find a way to get there without taking a moto if the person really tried. Personally I would value my mother's well being over my friends attending my funeral.

[Mr Lefty]

I'm bike only so at the moment YES.


To be honest I would.... but not to defy or throw it in the face of the family... Shit I'd park a mile away and walk to keep the. From being upset about it.... but I would ride because I know my friends that ride would want it that way.


But like I said... I'd do everything possible to avoid it being an issue. Leave last and park a decent distance away. The time on the bike would be my time alone with my friend... My time to day good life and good bye

[Trip]

I'm bike only so at the moment YES.


To be honest I would.... but not to defy or throw it in the face of the family... Shit I'd park a mile away and walk to keep the. From being upset about it.... but I would ride because I know my friends that ride would want it that way.


But like I said... I'd do everything possible to avoid it being an issue. Leave last and park a decent distance away. The time on the bike would be my time alone with my friend... My time to day good life and good bye

See this is a good answer if you are bike only, he made it a nonissue.

[Rangerscott]

See this is a good answer if you are bike only, he made it a nonissue.

I already stated what eBBs said.

[Trip]

I already stated what eBBs said.

he said it better :lol:

[Rangerscott]

he said it better :lol:


Dammit. I write the report and he's just standing next to me taking all the credit.

[HokieDNA01]

I think the OP was talking about bikers showing up to pay tribute on bikes. not someone that only has a bike and that is the only way they can get there. if that is the case yeah. park it around back.

[Gas Man]

To bikers its what we live to do. Pardon the pun. Its part of you. You honor a fallen brother of 2 wheels by continueing on 2. Its not a matter of asking for exceptance or permissions from people. Well its between u, ur fallen brothern, and God. Each day I ride I thank the big man for not only allowing me to do so but to watch over those we've left behind while they watch over us. I'm not trying to be spooky or anything but as I said its part of my universe. My church if u will. I make no apologies for tt and if u don't like it. Oh well. I'll honor my brothern of 2 my way. Shit if it wouldn't have been snowin I was gg to ride my bike in my dads funeral. Its when I'm riding when I feel the closest to spiritual things.

Oh well sorry rambling on a bit...

[101lifts2]

Agree with Ebbs...my bike is my main commuter. If you don't like bikes, fine, but the motorcyle isn't what killed your kid. Inexperience, pushing too hard, someone else's neglegence or bad luck did.

[Mr Lefty]

I agree with Gas... for me... riding means something.... paying tribute to my fallen brother/sister...

however, that doesn't mean it has to be displayed for everyone. if you believe that they're there watching you from above (or below) they'll see your tribute ride regardless of if it happens for all on lookers to see or you park quietly in back.

the ones that must ride and SHOW their riding and what not isn't about paying tribute... it's about showing their presence.... and in the OP's situation... possibly upsetting a grieving family further.

just my :2cents:

[wildchild]

Your still comparing apples to oranges. Riding a motorcycle to a funeral where the death involved a motorcycle is not the same as wearing jeans cause the deceased liked jeans or playing a guitar cause he liked guitar. Parents don't fear jeans and guitars. My mom has a VERY real fear of my motorcycle and I have to convience her often that it makes me happy and that it is worth the risk.

Hokie - I had to think about how to explain this one. In some ways it was the lifestyle that caused his death. His mother hated the way our lives were going, we were wasting our lives you know. we lived in campers, had crappy jobs and spent our free time being idiots with guitars,beer, and campfires. we thought life was perfect.
he died one night by falling down a flight of steps after drinking too much. He had found out he had a terminal disease and had gone on a binge to forget about it.

after thinking about this more, as a parent I would answer this in this manner. I have two adult boys. I may not always agree with the things they do, or who they do them with, but I always love my kids and want them to enjoy thier lives. even if it means doing things I may not think are responsible or the right thing to do. if they die doing those things, yes I will be upset but I'm not going to hold their lifes choices against anyone else. if their friends show up to honor their memory in a manner other than that of the family. I will still be happy just to have them there.

I have lost quite a few family members and friends at young ages, to guns, cars, bikes, alcohol, and drugs. no one freaked out at the funeral if you drive there in a car or on a bike. no one freaked out if you hoisted a last beer to someone who died of alcohol. people honor the dead in their own way.

only time I've had someone freak out on me was two weeks after my cousin died in an auto accident. he hit a tree at 85MPH. two weeks later I did the exact same thing and walked away. his mother went ape shit on me. at 17 it's hard to hear someone scream that you should have died like her son. i didn't hold it against her but it was weird to hear.

[fasternyou929]

To bikers its what we live to do. Pardon the pun. Its part of you. You honor a fallen brother of 2 wheels by continueing on 2.
So tormenting your friend's mother the day she buries her son is paying tribute to him? At what point does completely disrespecting someone's mother become noble, exactly?

Outside the context of this post, I agree 100%. But if a friend of mine passes away in a bike accident and their mother is taking it out on bikes themselves, I can't imagine being narcisistic enough to show up on two wheels and thumbing my nose at my friend's mother. Much less calling it a tribute to him at that point.

If it were ME that passed away, my GOOD friends will be the ones consoling my mother and helping her through. Not putting her through more pain at my funeral, regardless of whether or not she's being rational at the time or not.

[shmike]

So tormenting your friend's mother the day she buries her son is paying tribute to him? At what point does completely disrespecting someone's mother become noble, exactly?

Outside the context of this post, I agree 100%. But if a friend of mine passes away in a bike accident and their mother is taking it out on bikes themselves, I can't imagine being narcisistic enough to show up on two wheels and thumbing my nose at my mother's friend. Much less calling it a tribute to him at that point.

If it were ME that passed away, my GOOD friends will be the ones consoling my mother and helping her through. Not putting her through more pain at my funeral, regardless of whether or not she's being rational at the time or not.


You ride a rocket, you wouldn't understand.


Brub brub brub brub brub!

[fasternyou929]

You ride a rocket, you wouldn't understand.


Brub brub brub brub brub!

:lol: Why isn't anybody paying attention to us?!?

[VatorMan]

No-I understand linking you to the deceased on two wheels-but a funeral is for the living. It does no one any good creating an issue that will go as a memory of the fallen-whether you want it to or not.

Honor the dead at your own memorial to them-not the one put on by the parents.

[Smittie61984]

...ride into the funeral home and do fucking burnouts right in front of the coffin as while some tasty bitches poor beer into the casket.
Screw the mom....
Ride or die
tits or get the fuck out old lady.

We'd probably hire some strippers to give the cadaver a lap dance.

I'd actually go to that funeral.

I hate funerals because I see them as a waste of time along with graveyards being a waste of land that the living can use to well live. But people see a need for them for some reason, and since no one is closer to a person than their mom I wouldn't out of respect for the mom.

I'm curious if there will be motorcycle cops.

[JoshuaTree]

A topic that I have intimate familiarity with - now just over two years to the day...

I lost my friend Amanda in a single vehicle (i.e. motorcycle) wreck. She was riding on the back of someone's bike - getting a ride home from work, and the details are not really known, but she died.

Her father and mother, while not "anti-motorcycle" were not really crazy about them or her riding on one. I knew this, yet I also knew Amanda's thoughts on how to live your life.

I took my truck to the funeral (I was giving a ride to another of Amanda's friends), but rode to the 'after party'. Her husband rides, and for the first time that day, when he saw me ride up - he smiled. I'm told that before I got there, that the gathering was maudlin in tone - after I rode up and stayed a while, it turned into the sort of gathering that Amanda would have insisted on. Live life as if every day was your last - some day you'll be right. ;)

I knew that Amanda would have wanted me to ride, and for Brad to keep on riding as well. A week after she passed, Brad climbed back on his bike for the first time, and rode with me to get dinner on my birthday.

I live so that I can ride. I ride so that I can live.

"Love Much, Laugh Often". Yes Amanda, I obey. :D

[Gas Man]

Great F'in post Josh!!

[racedoll]

A topic that I have intimate familiarity with - now just over two years to the day...

I lost my friend Amanda in a single vehicle (i.e. motorcycle) wreck. She was riding on the back of someone's bike - getting a ride home from work, and the details are not really known, but she died.

Her father and mother, while not "anti-motorcycle" were not really crazy about them or her riding on one. I knew this, yet I also knew Amanda's thoughts on how to live your life.

I took my truck to the funeral (I was giving a ride to another of Amanda's friends), but rode to the 'after party'. Her husband rides, and for the first time that day, when he saw me ride up - he smiled. I'm told that before I got there, that the gathering was maudlin in tone - after I rode up and stayed a while, it turned into the sort of gathering that Amanda would have insisted on. Live life as if every day was your last - some day you'll be right. ;)

I knew that Amanda would have wanted me to ride, and for Brad to keep on riding as well. A week after she passed, Brad climbed back on his bike for the first time, and rode with me to get dinner on my birthday.

I live so that I can ride. I ride so that I can live.

"Love Much, Laugh Often". Yes Amanda, I obey. :D

Something along these lines is what I suggest. I rode to calling hours once with a group to a friend/co-worker that died on a motorcycle. The family took it as a respect, but it was calling hours. Had it been the funeral, I would have been in a dress and in the car.

[Gas Man]

Calling hours?

Is tt some wierd term for public viewing?

[Cutty72]

Older term for the wake/prayer service/viewing. Generally done the day prior to the funeral.

[racedoll]

Calling hours?

Is tt some wierd term for public viewing?

Not sure about it being a weird term, it's what we say in this area. But yes, it is more or less public viewing.

Older term for the wake/prayer service/viewing. Generally done the day prior to the funeral.

Are you calling me old? :wink:

[OneSickPsycho]

Not sure about it being a weird term, it's what we say in this area. But yes, it is more or less public viewing.



Are you calling me old? :wink:

Quite common in OH... That's what we've always called it.... And that's what the obits usually say...

[OneSickPsycho]

Reading back through... "Bike is my only transport" thing is a BS excuse. What, you wouldn't know anyone else going to the funeral? And let's say you didn't... You wouldn't know anyone else that could drive you there? Are there no taxi cabs in your town?

[Amorok]

If the family doesn't want me to ride I wont. A funeral is about respect for the family, not about making a statement.

[Gas Man]

Not sure about it being a weird term, it's what we say in this area. But yes, it is more or less public viewing.



Are you calling me old? :wink:
So I guess you are old and wierd. :lol

[racedoll]

So I guess you are old and wierd. :lol

Glad we cleared that up :)

[Amber Lamps]

So if a parent hated that their child had joined the military, and then was killed while serving, should that soldier/sailer/airman not get a military funeral and insist that none of his/her friends and brothers/sisters in arms wear Class A's to the funeral?

You beat me to it... In fact, many parents end up blaming their military when their children get killed but change their minds when they see the respect that the military gives their fallen child. I was on honor guard for awhile...:pat:

The thing is, I have ridden to well over a dozen funerals and it is why I keep very few riding buddies anymore. Quite frankly, almost every bike related funeral I've been to in my almost 30 years of riding, resulted in a group ride to the cemetery. Most "riders" would want it that way, I know that I do. If someone in my family can't understand that this is my wish then they must have no known me very well. BTW I believe that funerals should be for honoring the dead and what they loved, accomplished, stood for, etc. Personally, I hate funerals and plan for the next one I attend to be my own. FWIW my Dad died of cancer and every one stood outside the church smoking...:idk:

[Amber Lamps]

If the family doesn't want me to ride I wont. A funeral is about respect for the family, not about making a statement.

Oh if someone goes JUST to make some stupid "statement" then no but if you don't ride to my funeral because someone in my family won't like it I'll haunt you! I still disagree that the funeral is about the family, it's about saying goodbye and honoring your friend. I still would do as the deceased would want me to and damn the nay sayers.:sorry: That's just how I feel. If you were on your death bed and asked me to come to your funeral in boy shorts and a tank top I would.

[Papa_Complex]

If the family is distraught over how their loved one died and don't want to see anything bike-related at the funeral, then it would be prudent mot to torture them with the presence of such?

A funeral is a solemn event; not geared to demonstrations. Might I suggest that the proper way to "honour" a fallen fellow rider is a wake, not some put-up show at the funeral?

[Amber Lamps]

If the family is distraught over how their loved one died and don't want to see anything bike-related at the funeral, then it would be prudent mot to torture them with the presence of such?

A funeral is a solemn event; not geared to demonstrations. Might I suggest that the proper way to "honour" a fallen fellow rider is a wake, not some put-up show at the funeral?

Hey it's an opinion piece not a debate over the "rules", I will play it however it needs to be played but here's how it works for me,

1. the deceased wishes (if known)

2. the family's wishes (if known)

3. what I "feel" is the right thing to do

4-71 a bunch of crap

72. what people who don't know me or my friends think- ie you.

Whenever, there has been a funeral ride, the "best friend" is usually the one who organizes it. Because I have belonged to numerous bike clubs over the years, it's basically expected for there to be a ride to honor a fallen brother. Again, just because a comrade in arms family is upset with the military, wouldn't stop me from going to the funeral in uniform. The same principle applies here. This is not about "making a statement or demonstration", it is about honoring a fallen comrade. If it were his wish for us to ride to the funeral, I would...bottom line. Some one else said it but, "If he were hit by or died in a car, would no one be allowed to drive to the funeral?":idk: I take these things very seriously and would look at it from all angles if I were in charge of organizing the ride. I have done a "wake-type" ride and I have organized 100 rider plus rides to the funeral. It all depends on the circumstances. FWIW I have been in this exact position and we had the ride anyway. Afterwards, the mother thanked us for not listening to her in her grief and acknowledged that it was exactly as her son would have wished. Some people just own bikes and for some people it's a way of life...