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View Full Version : Pizza is like sex


Avatard
05-19-2010, 11:56 PM
When it's good, it's amazing...and when bad, it's still pretty fucking good.

OK, it's an old joke, but a damn good one.

But I'm in search of the "truly amazing" here. Pizza, that is (doing OK in the sex dept.). Anyway, I've always wanted to learn how to make a good pizza crust. But let's be honest, pizza is, when you get down to it, just a piece of bread.

Now, I'm a pretty decent cook. In fact, I'm pretty damn sure I could make a positively killer red sauce for a pizza...and from scratch...but bake bread? Make a crust? I'm clueless. Ready made? Meh...why even try?

Making bread. It's one of the things I've always promised myself I'd learn, but still haven't had the courage to really try in earnest, I have no idea how many years later...still, I contemplate the killer pizza...and then I spot an article.

Hmmm...could it be this is the how-to I was looking for?

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/19/dining/19pizza.html

Cutty72
05-20-2010, 12:18 AM
It's not delivery... it's digiorno

Rangerscott
05-20-2010, 12:19 AM
You know...................there is pizza porn.

anthonyk
05-20-2010, 12:26 AM
Wow, I never considered making pizza on the self-clean cycle. I like it!

Homeslice
05-20-2010, 12:42 AM
This place in St Louis IS THE SHIT..........awesome cracker-thin crust. Obama went there once, and the chef even went to the White House kitchen on request.

http://www.restaurantpi.com/

101lifts2
05-20-2010, 01:45 AM
The best pizza in the U.S. comes from Giordanos in the Chicagoland area. The pizza is a 1.5 inch deep dish that tastes like no other. The best pizza hands down.

http://www.giordanos.com/

This shit is so good they even ship it anywhere in the U.S. lol
http://www.giordanos.com/shop/home.php?sup=

marko138
05-20-2010, 08:03 AM
The best pizza in the U.S. comes from Giordanos in the Chicagoland area. The pizza is a 1.5 inch deep dish that tastes like no other. The best pizza hands down.

http://www.giordanos.com/

This shit is so good they even ship it anywhere in the U.S. lol
http://www.giordanos.com/shop/home.php?sup=
That sounds like good pie.

Trip
05-20-2010, 08:08 AM
Making bread. It's one of the things I've always promised myself I'd learn, but still haven't had the courage to really try in earnest, I have no idea how many years later...still, I contemplate the killer pizza...and then I spot an article.

This is one thing I want to do myself, my grandmother makes a killer french bread. Something she learned from her mom and so on. It's my favorite, especially when she covers it in cheese, garlic, and butter.

Papa_Complex
05-20-2010, 08:15 AM
This place in St Louis IS THE SHIT..........awesome cracker-thin crust. Obama went there once, and the chef even went to the White House kitchen on request.

http://www.restaurantpi.com/

The best pizza that I ever had, if you can actually call it that, was the exact opposite. It was made by a couple from Chicago who had moved to Brampton and opened up a pizza place, was vaguely rectangular, and the crust was fully three inches thick.

OTB
05-20-2010, 08:42 AM
This is the recipe I developed at the school. It works nicely in a standard oven baked @ 500 F. Works ok with a pizza pan, but works BEST with a pizza stone in an oven that has been preheated for 3/4 hour to insure that the stone is heat-soaked.

Dough MUST BE MADE 1 DAY AHEAD OF TIME.

Thin Pizza Pie Dough

1 1/4 cup warm (100-120 F) water
1 Pack Activated Dry Yeast
2 Cups Washington Unbleached All-Purpose flour
2 Cups Cake Flour
1 TBL Ground Sea Salt
2 TBL EVOO

Method:

Dissolve the yeast in the warm water with one TBL of the AP flour, let foam about 10 mins.

Sift together the AP and Cake flour and ground sea salt.

In a large mixing bowl with a spoon, hand mix TWO cups of the flour mix with the yeast water mix, blending till it's a sticky mass called a sponge.

Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let sit at room temperature for several hours. When you come back, it will be a bubbly, gooey mass.

Dust a countertop with 1 cup of the remaining flour, turn out the sponge into the center of the flour, and pour the other remaining cup of flour on top of the mass. Knead the flour and sponge together until it forms a uniform but very stiff dough. Fold and flatten by hand for about 5 minutes.

Brush a large piece of plastic wrap with the EVOO (Extra-Virgin Olive Oil) and carefully wrap the dough in it, making certain none of it is exposed to air. Place in a bowl and place in the refrigerator overnight. Do not let the dough become exposed to air; it has a low relative moisture content and will dry out quickly, ruining the dough. It will not rise much; that's ok.

When ready to make the pizza; have all of your ingredients and equipment ready; once the dough has been rolled, you will need to peel, top and put in the oven within a couple of minutes so that the toppings don't have a chance to soggy out the top of the dough and that the moisture doesn't come out through the bottom, causing your pizza to stick to the pan or the stone.

To make the pizza, you will need a rolling pin and a pizza peel like THIS (http://www.breadtopia.com/uploads/Image/SassafrasPeel500w.JPG), used to peelthe pizza off the counter or oven. If you don't have a pizza peel, you can use a large rimless cookie sheet like this (http://shop.bhg.com/product/baking-sheets/294552/wearever-airbake-ultra-cookie-sheet%2C-14-x-16-.html)

Dust the countertop with a little AP flour flatten your doughball out with the palm of your hand , dust your rolling pin with some AP flour and start rollong the dough out into a 14-16in circle. It should be less that 1/8 in thick and even.
Hint: The dough should slide around the countertop; if it starts to stcik or it sticks to the rolling pin, drag it back and forth though the flour on your countertop and dust a little more on top.

When you are done rolling, pick up the dough and shake the excess flour off of your dough on to your pizza peel or cookie sheet

LIGHTLY dust the peel or cookie sheet to make certain it is fully covered and then shake off the excess. arrange your dough on top of the peel, and pinch up the edge all the way around.

Add your sauce, cheese, and other stuff as you like pick up the peel on the peel or cookie sheet and only open the oven when you are ready to bake. Open the door and quickly slide the pizza onto the stone and close the door. Depending on the oven and the amount of toppings, the pizza will take between 4-6 minutes to bake. It is done with the cheese is fully melted and starting to bubble and the edges are uniformly brown.

Open the oven and slide your peel or cookie sheet quickly under the pizza and remove.
Place on countertop and, using a pizza knife, use VERY firm pressure and make your cuts WITH ONE STROKE...don't be a wuss...rolling the pizza knife back and forth compresses the dough and leaves a soggy, messy cut line.

Another hint: I know that most folks think more is always better, but as far as sauce and cheese go: too much is a bad thing. About 4 oz of sauce is all you need...too much and the cheese "floats" on the sauce and won't melt correctly; cheese should be just enough to cover the sauce and still see a tiny bit of the sauce underneath... too much cheese and it will flow off of the pizza and onto the stone and then you will REALLY have a mess......

Have fun and good luck.......

Rider
05-20-2010, 08:42 AM
The best pizza? Gino's East in Chicago. Hands down.

marko138
05-20-2010, 08:59 AM
The best pizza that I ever had, if you can actually call it that, was the exact opposite. It was made by a couple from Chicago who had moved to Brampton and opened up a pizza place, was vaguely rectangular, and the crust was fully three inches thick.
Love the thick crust deep dish type deals.

Rider
05-20-2010, 09:03 AM
Love the thick crust deep dish type deals.

You need to visit Chicago.

Trip
05-20-2010, 09:11 AM
new york thin is better, true chicago pizzas are too sweet

Papa_Complex
05-20-2010, 09:19 AM
new york thin is better, true chicago pizzas are too sweet

Sugar in the sauce.

marko138
05-20-2010, 09:26 AM
Sugar in the sauce.
Pass on that shit.

Trip
05-20-2010, 09:35 AM
Sugar in the sauce.

yeah, they make me want to vomit after 1 slice. It is ok, but you just can't eat a ton of that sweet shit.

Our best pizza in knoxville is a new york style pizza at a place called Big Ed's in Oak Ridge. It has gone a little down hill since Ed died and someone else took over though.

Papa_Complex
05-20-2010, 09:39 AM
Pass on that shit.

yeah, they make me want to vomit after 1 slice. It is ok, but you just can't eat a ton of that sweet shit.

Our best pizza in knoxville is a new york style pizza at a place called Big Ed's in Oak Ridge. It has gone a little down hill since Ed died and someone else took over though.

It's not that bad, as long as they don't go overboard. Unfortunately many places do though.

Rider
05-20-2010, 09:42 AM
You can request to go light on the sauce.

Trip
05-20-2010, 09:50 AM
You can request to go light on the sauce.

Then it's just cheesy dough. I prefer new york style.

Rider
05-20-2010, 09:56 AM
Then it's just cheesy dough. I prefer new york style.

Uh it's actually like a sandwich. The sausage or pepperoni is 1 thick piece over the entire pizza.

marko138
05-20-2010, 10:02 AM
Uh it's actually like a sandwich. The sausage or pepperoni is 1 thick piece over the entire pizza.
Sounds gross.

Trip
05-20-2010, 10:03 AM
Uh it's actually like a sandwich. The sausage or pepperoni is 1 thick piece over the entire pizza.

I have had true chicago before and like I said before, I prefer new york. I am not a fan of sausage on my pizza, so mine wouldn't have it. Depending if I want a shit ton of grease or not, sometimes I leave off the pepporoni and go for tomato slices.

Rider
05-20-2010, 10:04 AM
Sounds gross.

It's actually good.

Papa_Complex
05-20-2010, 10:07 AM
You can request to go light on the sauce.

The one I mentioned went light on the sauce, but VERY heavy on the cheese, thinly sliced tomato, and pepperoni.

Dave
05-20-2010, 10:26 AM
Pizza was one of the things I hated about living in texas. Here I can throw a dart at an open phonebook and come up with gold everytime :D

NONE_too_SOFT
05-20-2010, 10:52 AM
arguing about which type of pizza is best is redundant. There cant be a best, they're all so good.

Avatard
05-20-2010, 11:03 AM
arguing about which type of pizza is best is redundant. There cant be a best, they're all so good.

See: opening joke.

AquaPython
05-20-2010, 11:08 AM
the trick to good bread is water quality. NY always has the best food (and pizza) because the natural water available (tap) in the area is some the best you can find. The Tap water kicks ass to drink there, while for example I am in Florida, and would never drink tap water. anyway, i would try getting some distilled or RO/DI water to bake with

Avatard
05-20-2010, 11:14 AM
Supposedly, the only places on the west coast that can make a decent pie, do so with bottled water. Word is, you can't make fucking decent pizza with the water out there.

Homeslice
05-20-2010, 11:43 AM
new york thin is better, true chicago pizzas are too sweet

Truth.....and deep-dish sucks IMO. You might as well be eating lasagna.

St Louis took NY style and made it even thinner and crispier. Best in the nation.

Dave
05-20-2010, 11:46 AM
the trick to good bread is water quality. NY always has the best food (and pizza) because the natural water available (tap) in the area is some the best you can find. The Tap water kicks ass to drink there, while for example I am in Florida, and would never drink tap water. anyway, i would try getting some distilled or RO/DI water to bake with

Interesting, def didn't know that one. I'll have to have vic use the water we dechlorinate for our water bottles next time she makes me scratch pizza

AquaPython
05-20-2010, 11:53 AM
i would not just dechlorinate ,there is a bunch of shit in tap water ( i know from keeping a reef tank), you can call up your local utility and ask them for a water report. it usually provides all of the stuff they test for, all the dissolved chemical. Well more like dissolved elements, like calcium (hard water) and metals. it won't register the amount of pharmaceuticals dissolved into your tap water ....
get an RO/DI filter to purify as much as you can.

z06boy
05-20-2010, 12:06 PM
Pizza is like sex

Yep the worst I ever had was still pretty darn good !!

defector
05-20-2010, 12:54 PM
the trick to good bread is water quality. NY always has the best food (and pizza) because the natural water available (tap) in the area is some the best you can find. The Tap water kicks ass to drink there, while for example I am in Florida, and would never drink tap water. anyway, i would try getting some distilled or RO/DI water to bake with

The (good) pizza joints around here do water testing on a weekly basis (tap water out here sucks). One local owner (came from Brooklyn) says he tries to get the Ph balance the same as New York City tap water.

Dave
05-20-2010, 01:13 PM
Yep the worst I ever had was still pretty darn good !!

There used to be a place near ft hood that was so bad they brought it door to door at the barracks and you could barter for it. Crust tasted like cardboard but I wasn't gonna complain when you got a large for $3-5

AquaPython
05-20-2010, 01:15 PM
pH is just one facet of water chemistry...

101lifts2
05-20-2010, 03:51 PM
The best pizza? Gino's East in Chicago. Hands down.

Gino's East is VG...but Giordanos is better. :boobs:

z06boy
05-20-2010, 04:53 PM
There used to be a place near ft hood that was so bad they brought it door to door at the barracks and you could barter for it. Crust tasted like cardboard but I wasn't gonna complain when you got a large for $3-5

Reminds me of some of the girls in Okinawa and the Philippines...oops...nevermind. :lol:

That was before I became an upstanding citizen with high morals and all. :cf:

Dave
05-20-2010, 05:09 PM
BS lol

racedoll
05-20-2010, 09:09 PM
I LOVE to make pizza. I used to make it at a local family-owned restaurant, people would ask if I was working. Otherwise it wasn't very good, they would put too much sauce, not bake it properly, etc.

The (good) pizza joints around here do water testing on a weekly basis (tap water out here sucks). One local owner (came from Brooklyn) says he tries to get the Ph balance the same as New York City tap water.

I recall hearing about this on TV.

We rarely eat pizza out as we both prefer my homemade.

Rider
05-21-2010, 08:16 AM
Gino's East is VG...but Giordanos is better. :boobs:

Is that the one across the street from Nike Town?

z06boy
05-21-2010, 12:36 PM
BS lol

:lol: :cheers: