Kind of a win...

[TommyHotWheel]

Ok, I was married...blah blah blah...2 kids...autistic son, daughter hates me cuz I moved and the ex is brain washing her...3 years been fighting in court...have seen said children for a total of 10 days in three years.


Got a letter in the mail from Friend of the Court in Michigan(they handle custody and that sort of thing there). We had an investigation into why so many filings and parenting time grievances. They finally looked at all of my papers and came up with a writ, goes a little sumtin like dis...

1. I get the kids for a week starting December 26th every year, previously supposed to be with me every other year...never happened.

2. I get the kids for a week during "Spring Break" every year, again, everyother year(for all holidays)...never happened.

3. I get the kids for 2 weeks every summer; see, never happened.

4. I will be able to talk to the kids when ever I want, if this is not possible our defaults are 2 Sundays every month...we talked little, so this is a good step.

5. All of the claims and doctors wordings and "Professional" opinions brought forth by my ex have been tossed out as having no factual basis(SHE WAS CALLED A LIAR AND NOW ITS IN A COURT DOCUMENT! HA BITCH!) so all of the clams that Cam cant fly or travel...tossed.

The court paper also stated that the reason there is animosity between my daughter and myself is "Lisa is upset that Tom moved and is using this to poison the children against Tom." Finally someone saw it and now its an official court document.

Now today I called my daughter, we talked as much as we could and at the end of our conversation, she says, 'Daddy, guess what, we went to our storage and I found the phones you said you sent us that we never got...Mommy had them packed away! Lets get one set up so we can use it.' I feel so much better now. Sorry for the rant, but I need to get it out.

[NONE_too_SOFT]

i feel so bad for your kids.

Make sure your girls turn out okay and never date a guy like me.

[dReWpY]

Congrats man

[Kaneman]

i feel so bad for your kids.

Make sure your girls turn out okay and never date a guy like me.

Nobody can really be an influence on their kids with only a couple weeks a year out of 52. It sucks, but its reality.

Such a crappy situation man, hopefully it's going to get better. She's doing all this because you moved, or just because she's a bitch?

[ericr]

I'd say that's a win Tommy! Congrats man, that's a big improvement at least.

[TommyHotWheel]

Nobody can really be an influence on their kids with only a couple weeks a year out of 52. It sucks, but its reality.

Such a crappy situation man, hopefully it's going to get better. She's doing all this because you moved, or just because she's a bitch?

I think its a few things..she thinks she can make the rules, and she doesnt have to follow others rules and she is mad that I moved and she is stuck and she knows the kids want to be with me.

[NONE_too_SOFT]

Girls are the reason i dont procreate. period.

(their periods)

[TommyHotWheel]

Girls are the reason i dont procreate. period.

(their periods)

My daughter is amazing, my kids are the best thing that ever happened to me.

[Kaneman]

I think its a few things..she thinks she can make the rules, and she doesnt have to follow others rules and she is mad that I moved and she is stuck and she knows the kids want to be with me.

God that's gotta be infuriating. One thing about my ex....even as batshit crazy as she is I still get to see her son every other weekend...sometimes more. Hell, and he's not even my kid.

So the courts are just now acting on any of this of course. What state is this in?

[smileyman]

The trouble with ex's and kids is that the reason most marriages with kids break up over one parent being a selfish, manipulative, immature psychotic. So then its only natural for that person to try and smother their anger over their former spouse by using their last tie, the children. Only they are too psycho and vindictive to realize what it does to the kids. Wounding them forever in the usually successful attempt to strip the still beating heart from the only adult in the household, theone that quit putting up with their shit.


Anyway thats what I heard...

[Particle Man]

Good. Glad to hear it man.

[TommyHotWheel]

God that's gotta be infuriating. One thing about my ex....even as batshit crazy as she is I still get to see her son every other weekend...sometimes more. Hell, and he's not even my kid.

So the courts are just now acting on any of this of course. What state is this in?

Michigan.

[Papa_Complex]

I like stories with happy beginnings.

[lauralynne]

Good on you.

My ex. has seen his kids roughly 3 weeks TOTAL in 7 years. I even offered to BUY HIS TICKET TO COME SEE THEM and he turned it down. He's lower than low.

[njchopper87]

It sucks that it took so long, but at least everything is being seen from your perspective. That seems to be a rarity these days.

[sherri_chickie]

Glad to hear that you are going to get to see your kids. Great to hear that the courts have got her pegged.

Enjoy the time with your kids!

[derf]

This is pretty damn cool for you.

My only question though is since she blew off the previous visitations that never happened, whats gonna change? Cant she just blow you off again? I know that eventually you will be given more and more stuff from the courts, but when does it end? When the kids arn't kids anymore?

Ever think about going for custody?

[TommyHotWheel]

Derf, been trying to get custody for 6 years, but since she is not putting them in danger or neglecting them, its not likely that they will just award custody to the other parent. This is the first step to getting custody. The worst part is because of the cost of courts and police and all of that, they wont charge her with contempt until it gets much worse. Everytime we go for hearings they plead it off. This ruling is the last straw, we were told that after this, charges will be automatic. Its hard with the state being so broke, they just wont do anything until its ridiculous.

[azoomm]

Family court blows. I'm sorry that's a victory, know what I mean? I hope you have continued good times in court.

[Porkchop]

How old are your kids?

My best friend went through this visitation thing when he was young. Every other weekend, and every Wenesday is when he could stay with his dad. Plus certain holidays, vacations, etc.

The best thing is, once they are 18, they can see whoever and live with whoever they want. Hopefully you form a good relationship with them from here on out. Sounds like a good start with your daughter!!!! :dthumb:

[TommyHotWheel]

13 and 9.

[the chi]

Thats great Tommy!! At least its a start in the right direction. I'd have to say Im more pleased with the fact that your daughter now knows you werent lying and she has proof against her mothers allegations when she starts trash talking you. It sucks for your daughter to know her mom is a liar, but will probably go a long way towards repairing your relationship with her.

[ontwo]

Damn dude. I can appreciate your situation. It's really hard being away from your kids. That last part about the cell phone really got me. Congrats on the new orders. Good luck with the new relationship you get with your kids.

[shmike]

Thats great Tommy!! At least its a start in the right direction. I'd have to say Im more pleased with the fact that your daughter now knows you werent lying and she has proof against her mothers allegations when she starts trash talking you. It sucks for your daughter to know her mom is a liar, but will probably go a long way towards repairing your relationship with her.

I agree 100%.

When I saw this:


Now today I called my daughter, we talked as much as we could and at the end of our conversation, she says, 'Daddy, guess what, we went to our storage and I found the phones you said you sent us that we never got...Mommy had them packed away! Lets get one set up so we can use it.' I feel so much better now. Sorry for the rant, but I need to get it out.

...I nearly lost it. It looks as though your daughter can see that some if not all of the crap your ex has been feeding her is BS. That is a HUGE win in my book!

[TommyHotWheel]

I agree 100%.

When I saw this:



...I nearly lost it. It looks as though your daughter can see that some if not all of the crap your ex has been feeding her is BS. That is a HUGE win in my book!

Yep...the tears and the smiles were both right there.

[Rider]

Congrats on a small but very important victory. I hate when i hear stories about a parent who lies to their kids to keep the non custodial parent out of their lives. Sucks for everyone involved.

Hopefully the Michigan court will punch that cunt in the ovaries for you.

[goof2]

Enjoy the time you had to fight to get with them. Take this for what it is worth since I am not a parent, but hate your ex-wife the months you don't have your kids. For the weeks they are with you try and let as much of that go as possible. Kids are intuitive. They will "read" the differences between you and their mom. I'm guessing you already know all this but I thought it should be said regardless.

[azoomm]

Enjoy the time you had to fight to get with them. Take this for what it is worth since I am not a parent, but hate your ex-wife the months you don't have your kids. For the weeks they are with you try and let as much of that go as possible. Kids are intuitive. They will "read" the differences between you and their mom. I'm guessing you already know all this but I thought it should be said regardless.

I agree with most of this. The part I don't agree with is the hate. The best revenge is living well. Keep doing what you're doing.

[RACER X]

congrats man!

[Avatard]

Now today I called my daughter, we talked as much as we could and at the end of our conversation, she says, 'Daddy, guess what, we went to our storage and I found the phones you said you sent us that we never got...Mommy had them packed away! Lets get one set up so we can use it.'

That's gold, right there. That's the win, Tommy, not that court shit.

That's the win, right there. Your kid learning the truth, and wanting to reach out to you.

Brought me to tears, but then again, I've ridden this rodeo before.

Congrats, brother.

[HokieDNA01]

Here's to great beginings Tommy. Even if they have been delayed.

[G-Rex]

That's awesome Tommy. That just made my day reading that. Glad that you will be able to see your kids more and be a part of their lives more and again!

It's an amazing thing for the little ones to truly want to be with you and especially to hear them say it. You are lucky, sir.

[TommyHotWheel]

Thank you everyone, from my glowing, happy heart...Thank you all.

[Particle Man]

I agree with most of this. The part I don't agree with is the hate. The best revenge is living well. Keep doing what you're doing.

Totally.

[Cass]

Sounds like a "win" to me :) I hate that you and your kiddos have had to go through this... but this is a definite step (or 2 or 3) in the right direction!

[racedoll]

Like everyone else said already, congrats and I hope everyone follows through on what was said.

[z06boy]

I am soooo glad that I didn't have kids when going through a divorce !!

Good for you man...glad it's gotten better even though it's still a sucky situation.

I hate when parents play BS games with eachother and use the kids against eachother.

The part about the daughter finding the phones...awesome for you man !!