Punishing kids

[derf]

My son threw a fit in the store today, so you think taking away his halloween candy would work? Nope, he still was yelling and screaming so I took away his books. That shut him up finally. Now he finally stopped acting like a fool and is laying on the couch.

You know the kid isnt that bad when a bad punishment is taking away books.

[t-homo]

spoiled little shit.

[Particle Man]

My kid is like that: take away every toy she owns and she is still okay with it. Touch her books and she freaks right the eff out.

[Mr Lefty]

your kid is gonna get his ass beat all the way up to HS... :lol:

[Kaneman]

Belts are pretty effective for that too.

[caveman]

I think that is the one thing I have never taken away from my kids is books. I will take TV, Games, PC time, and actual freedom itself(make them sit in their bed and look at the ceiling). But, books stimulate the mind in ways that the TV or anything else they have never can. I am just not sure I could see doing that. Now, I have prevented my daughter from reading her specific series of books and told her to only read a textbook or something else of my choosing. So, I guess that could be similar to what your decision is.

[defector]

I guess whatever works...

My kids get to stand there arms outstretched sideways at shoulder level balancing a phonebook on the back of each hand. While balancing on a bowling ball. Wearing roller skates. Not roller blades, old school 1976 fucking roller skates. And reciting the Gettysburg Address. In Russian. Wearing a three pointed hat. With an eye patch on.

[derf]

very similar, I took the books away as a whole, hes in his room with one now, at 9 the lights go out and I take the book back. TV was the first thing to go

[Rangerscott]

Belts are pretty effective for that too.

Ditto. Why is there an epidemic of parents not knowing that this works?

[Particle Man]

Ditto. Why is there an epidemic of parents not knowing that this works?

Everyone is worried about ending up in jail or on doctor f*cking Phil.

[Mr Lefty]

Ditto. Why is there an epidemic of parents not knowing that this works?

I think it's more of an epidemic of lawyers allowing OTHER PEOPLES opinions to influence how we all live.

if it offends or doesn't quite fit what they think is right... SUE!

[derf]

He gets a good spanking when he deserves it, but he started saying "can I have another" recently

[Particle Man]

He gets a good spanking when he deserves it, but he started saying "can I have another" recently

Watched "Full Metal Jacket" one too many times? :lol:

[Tmall]

Pussies....http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/beatkid4.jpg

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat

[Mr Lefty]

He gets a good spanking when he deserves it, but he started saying "can I have another" recently

:lol: uh... I think you're doing it wrong

[Gas Man]

Reason #67 to not have kids

[caveman]

Belts are pretty effective for that too.

If you can't do it with your bare hand your either doing it wrong or your a woman.

Ditto. Why is there an epidemic of parents not knowing that this works?

Do you even have kids?

He gets a good spanking when he deserves it, but he started saying "can I have another" recently

If he is asking if he can have another, then you need to swing a little harder. My mom when I was young and was on her own for a while was given a paddle from my Grandad that was a simple 1x4 routered and had a handle cut into, get one of those.

[t-homo]

Reason #67 to not have kids

Real talk.

[derf]

If he is asking if he can have another, then you need to swing a little harder. My mom when I was young and was on her own for a while was given a paddle from my Grandad that was a simple 1x4 routered and had a handle cut into, get one of those.

Yeh any harder and I cross the line into beating teritory.

[Papa_Complex]

Belts are pretty effective for that too.

I never really understood the idea of whupping a kid until he cries, for crying.

[VatorMan]

Now days you tell them you'll embarrass them on Facebook.

[ontwo]

Mine gets the paint stir stick.

[Mr Lefty]

I never really understood the idea of whupping a kid until he cries, for crying.

it's like my dad used to say... he's just giving me something to cry about! :lol:

[azoomm]

Props to you for knowing how to get your child to pay attention. I don't understand raising a hand to solve a problem, or teaching your children that pain is the best answer to get someone to pay attention.

[Papa_Complex]

Props to you for knowing how to get your child to pay attention. I don't understand raising a hand to solve a problem, or teaching your children that pain is the best answer to get someone to pay attention.

I don't know about that. Today's children, who have largely been raised without corporal punishment, frequently don't seem to understand that their actions have consequences. I don't think that it's necessarily wrong to physically discipline your children. It's simply that many people don't understand when it's appropriate to do so. Spanking a child for crying is ineffective. Spanking a child for destroying the kitchen is.

[derf]

Props to you for knowing how to get your child to pay attention. I don't understand raising a hand to solve a problem, or teaching your children that pain is the best answer to get someone to pay attention.

There is an age where pain as a punishment doesn't really work any more. At my sons age 5 yes it still works. At that age he doesn't fully comprehend that his actions have consequences but he does understand that his actions cause pain. he is starting to get the point, but sometimes yes a good hard whack to the but is the only thing that works. If he goes too far down the street without an adult and I take away the TV privledges, the act doesn't associate with the punishment, but a spank on the ass will.

My daughter, 10, it doesn't get spanked at all anymore. She comprehends that her actions have consequences even if they are not connected. If she lies then she looses the TV or radio or something. I can hit her all day long and she will understand that too, but with her level of thinking and her understanding of the implications of her actions I don't need to really.

It's really about what works with each child, their maturity level, and their ability to associate actions and consequences. It's not about pain at all, just about their comprehension of the world around them.

Now my wife on the other hand, all she gets is the other hand

http://www.batmania.com.ar/images/images_serie/serie_whack.jpg

[azoomm]

I don't know about that. Today's children, who have largely been raised without corporal punishment, frequently don't seem to understand that their actions have consequences. I don't think that it's necessarily wrong to physically discipline your children. It's simply that many people don't understand when it's appropriate to do so. Spanking a child for crying is ineffective. Spanking a child for destroying the kitchen is.

Sorry, but I don't agree with any form of corporal punishment. Though, I feel too many of today's parents are trying to give their kids a hug and a cookie for their actions. THAT is moronic, at best. There should be a better balance.

Animals punish their young with pain, we are above that. We have opposable thumbs and are supposedly intelligent creatures. Yet, we continue to bruise our way through our lives. Awesome.

[z06boy]

http://www.pajamasandcoffee.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/DuctTape2.jpg

[Papa_Complex]

Sorry, but I don't agree with any form of corporal punishment. Though, I feel too many of today's parents are trying to give their kids a hug and a cookie for their actions. THAT is moronic, at best. There should be a better balance.

Animals punish their young with pain, we are above that. We have opposable thumbs and are supposedly intelligent creatures. Yet, we continue to bruise our way through our lives. Awesome.

Different people, different views. We do agree though regarding the cookie thing though.

The thing about pain is that it's immediate and effective. It worked for many, many generations.

[VatorMan]

Sorry, but I don't agree with any form of corporal punishment. Though, I feel too many of today's parents are trying to give their kids a hug and a cookie for their actions. THAT is moronic, at best. There should be a better balance.

Animals punish their young with pain, we are above that. We have opposable thumbs and are supposedly intelligent creatures. Yet, we continue to bruise our way through our lives. Awesome.

My kids-Honest, hardworking tax paying citizens. Your kids-liberal or hippies or both.

[Mr Lefty]

My kids-Honest, hardworking tax paying citizens. Your kids-liberal or hippies or both.

I wouldn't say that... with out meeting Azoom...

I've met her and her daughter... (oldest I think) when I went to dinner with them, Archren and GRex... and I wouldn't put that label on either her or her daughter.

I'm a proponent of spanking kids, BUT I don't think it's needed for everyone. I just don't like the idea that it's not right for ANYONE.

me... I needed my ass beat growing up.

it's the main part of being a parent to be engaged enough to realize just WHAT your child needs.

[azoomm]

My kids-Honest, hardworking tax paying citizens. Your kids-liberal or hippies or both.

:lol: yup, that's my kids....

Sorry, :lol:

[VatorMan]

:lol: yup, that's my kids....

Sorry, :lol:

:lol Good sport. I've seen it from both sides. Boys need a good ass whipping every so often. My daughter I maybe swatted her on the behind twice in her life.

[Kaneman]

Sorry, but I don't agree with any form of corporal punishment. Though, I feel too many of today's parents are trying to give their kids a hug and a cookie for their actions. THAT is moronic, at best. There should be a better balance.

Animals punish their young with pain, we are above that. We have opposable thumbs and are supposedly intelligent creatures. Yet, we continue to bruise our way through our lives. Awesome.

All I know is that neither of the two boys I've raised have ever, not once, thrown any kind of fit in public. I can count on my hands how many times in their life they've ever given me anything other than a "yes sir" when they've been told to do something. I can also count on my hands how many times they've actually required a spanking...but they know its an option.

Violence is sooooo under-rated these days.

[EpyonXero]

Animals punish their young with pain, we are above that. We have opposable thumbs and are supposedly intelligent creatures. Yet, we continue to bruise our way through our lives. Awesome.

Thats not quite true when it comes to small children. A toddler is only about as smart as a dog, you cant use reason to teach a dog.

[Particle Man]

Animals punish their young with pain, we are above that. We have opposable thumbs and are supposedly intelligent creatures. Yet, we continue to bruise our way through our lives. Awesome.

You've never tried Akido, have you? :lol:

Thumbs are invaluable tools for inflicting pain. :lol

[pauldun170]

Thats not quite true when it comes to small children. A toddler is only about as smart as a dog, you cant use reason to teach a dog.

...and doesn't know nor will they understand that they did something wrong and will not likely be able to properly link the offending act with the inflicted pain.

There is no reason to hit a toddler other than to validate failure as a parent.
Older kids are different but under 2?
No

[EpyonXero]

...and doesn't know nor will they understand that they did something wrong and will not likely be able to properly link the offending act with the inflicted pain.

There is no reason to hit a toddler other than to validate failure as a parent.
Older kids are different but under 2?
No

I dont have any kids but I have trained a dog and they definitely have the capacity to link pain with undesired behavior.

[Particle Man]

There is no reason to hit a toddler other than to validate failure as a parent.
Older kids are different but under 2?
Notruth

[dReWpY]

truth

agreed

[Rangerscott]

I was whipped until I cried and then some. FYI. Don't tucker down cause yo back has no cushion.

[caveman]

Sorry, but I don't agree with any form of corporal punishment. Though, I feel too many of today's parents are trying to give their kids a hug and a cookie for their actions. THAT is moronic, at best. There should be a better balance.

Animals punish their young with pain, we are above that. We have opposable thumbs and are supposedly intelligent creatures. Yet, we continue to bruise our way through our lives. Awesome.

If its worked in the animal kingdom this long, well then.......
I don't believe in "Beating". What I believe in is corporal punishment, let the punishment fit the crime and be just. I have often been able to get the response from both of my children with just the, "I am gonna WHOOP your ass, if you don't quit" look. Other times when my son has been acting a complete fool and has been told more than once to knock it off then its a crack on the backside. If he persists then he gets full on 5 whack spanking, and sent to his room to stare at the ceiling. I also am not a big fan of repeating myself. If I have told my daughter more than twice in the same week about school requirements, whatever they may be, its time to remind her, by tanning her backside. NEVER, NEVER do I beat my kids ANYWHERE other than on their bottom. I have never grabbed their arms to leave bruises or shook them, or used any type of close fist on them. (although, I am sure before my son hits 18 we may come to that, he's got a fightin streak in him) I have on occasion done the finger to the sternum trick to snap them back to reality a time or two. That in a nutshell is what I call corporal punishment. NO BELTS, NO SWITCHES, NOTHING OTHER THAN MY HAND

[z06boy]

If its worked in the animal kingdom this long, well then.......
I don't believe in "Beating". What I believe in is corporal punishment, let the punishment fit the crime and be just. I have often been able to get the response from both of my children with just the, "I am gonna WHOOP your ass, if you don't quit" look. Other times when my son has been acting a complete fool and has been told more than once to knock it off then its a crack on the backside. If he persists then he gets full on 5 whack spanking, and sent to his room to stare at the ceiling. I also am not a big fan of repeating myself. If I have told my daughter more than twice in the same week about school requirements, whatever they may be, its time to remind her, by tanning her backside. NEVER, NEVER do I beat my kids ANYWHERE other than on their bottom. I have never grabbed their arms to leave bruises or shook them, or used any type of close fist on them. (although, I am sure before my son hits 18 we may come to that, he's got a fightin streak in him) I have on occasion done the finger to the sternum trick to snap them back to reality a time or two. That in a nutshell is what I call corporal punishment. NO BELTS, NO SWITCHES, NOTHING OTHER THAN MY HAND

I feel pretty much the same and this is pretty much how I was raised...well except for an occasional belt used on me when I was in my teens.

I have no problem with parants spanking their children. Abuse and beating obviously is a different story.

[Kaneman]

Belts rock.

[Bluestreak]

I got my butt spanked when I was a kid. Most of the time my dad used a belt or a paddle. If I acted up in public, we went to the car. I always hated that walk.

My 3 yr old daughter will get 1 whack when she is spanked (rarely) but is always preceded by a talk of why she is being punished. Always my hand, and never anywhere other than her butt. ALWAYS in the privacy of my home. We've found though, that the most effective punishment for her is to have her stand in the living room corner for 4 minutes with her nose mere inches from the wall. If she moves, or speaks, she gets an additional minute. When the egg timer beeps, she can leave. She HATES this punishment and we use it whenever it's needed. Every time she is punished, we tell her why and what she should have done differently. I feel talking with her and explaining what she did wrong is the most important piece of the process. At 3 years old, she understands actions have consequences.

With my son's young age, 19 months, he only gets a few minutes of isolation in his crib. He hates not being able to have his freedom.

I agree that there is a difference between punishing your children and beating them. The punishment should fit the crime and I try to never physically discipline my children (child is more applicable for me) while I'm angry.

I agree with caveman. "Beating" is never an option and I despise people who beat their children/wives etc...

I also agree with Pauldun. There is no good reason to hit a toddler. They can't comprehend what they did wrong. If they are old enough to comprehend and no other punishment fits, corporal punishment is an option in my book.

There have been times that I've wanted to duct tape them both to the wall!!! Having children is one of the most rewarding things, but it's also one of the most frustrating! :lol:

In 3 weeks I will have 3 children under the age of 4. :panic:

[Kaneman]

You guys never go for the face huh? If not the father, who's supposed to teach a boy how to take a hit? :lol:

And are you guys saying that a 4 month old Canine puppy is capable of associating pain with undesired behavior but a 2 year old human child is not? Give me a break...

[Papa_Complex]

Belts rock.

... and shoes, hairbrushes, rulers...

[azoomm]

I was spanked as a child. It only gave me the desire to not get caught again. That meant, I wasn't corrected in the specific action - just didn't want to be busted. I wanted a better option for my children.

Anger and physical violence have no place in my home. There has been entirely too much of that in my life.

You want to beat your child? That's fine - go for it. Here, it's well within your rights as a parent. It's referred to as "Parental Discipline" within the law. Defined; you can do what you feel is necessary to contain and control your child within reasonable means.

Frankly, my method isn't easy. So, given the choice of the general public going my route or that of your "tried and true" spanking method, I'd prefer more spank their child. That is because too many of the public are lazy assholes that don't understand common sense or don't get involved in their own lives [let alone their children's lives]. They think it's "neat" to spawn and create more lazy assholes.

[Particle Man]

I was spanked

let the leghumping begin :lol:

[azoomm]

let the leghumping begin :lol:

:lol

[MILK]

I will never forget watching a woman slap the shit out of her 1 year old for not being quiet enough during a funeral.. Could not believe it.

Spanking makes my child more aggressive so is avoided. However he did get a spanking in the basement of the Capitol building (yes the one in Wash, lol) this summer due to a completely unacceptable action on his part. Otherwise I take things from him and make him pay for me things like back talking. Works so much better! He hates me to take his toys and he really hates taking money out of his wallet.

[Gas Man]

Belts rock.
No belt buckles rock!

I myself don't have kids and don't really plan on it. But I agree more with Cave's pov, and that hurts to say (kiddin bud). Honestly, I want to know where all your kids are and why are there not more of them near me. The kids I come across on a daily event are horrible.

What changed I ask myself.... no corporal punishment? I'm not sure. But kids these days are getting worse than my generation was, and I don't think my generation is all that great. Many of my peers are still F ups.

[defector]

No belt buckles rock!

I myself don't have kids and don't really plan on it. But I agree more with Cave's pov, and that hurts to say (kiddin bud). Honestly, I want to know where all your kids are and why are there not more of them near me. The kids I come across on a daily event are horrible.

What changed I ask myself.... no corporal punishment? I'm not sure. But kids these days are getting worse than my generation was, and I don't think my generation is all that great. Many of my peers are still F ups.

By and large today, it seems as if a good amount of adults would rather be their kids' friends, then actually be their parents. I also notice many people are unwilling to offend their children.

[Gas Man]

Or to discipline them, I myself would applaud and defend a parent in public disciplining their kid.

[papapoi]

Hot wheel track works also.

[Particle Man]

By and large today, it seems as if a good amount of adults would rather be their kids' friends, then actually be their parents. I also notice many people are unwilling to offend their children.These things drive me nuts.

[azoomm]

By and large today, it seems as if a good amount of adults would rather be their kids' friends, then actually be their parents. I also notice many people are unwilling to offend their children.

I'll have to offend mine twice JUST to make up for the others....

At this point, I can't worry too much about the ones that would be better off raised by wolves. There isn't room for everyone at the top. Hopefully it will mean those slackers will only make my children look better because they actually have a work ethic.

[Kaneman]

So you ground them and take things away as punishment in lieu of spanking right?

My problem with grounding is that its like grounding myself. If I can't let him do anything fun, then what the fuck am I supposed to do all day? :lol:

As far as taking his things away....he earns the money that pays for those things....how can I take away what he earned?

[derf]

My problem with grounding is that its like grounding myself. If I can't let him do anything fun, then what the fuck am I supposed to do all day? :lol:


I'm sorry I just don't understand your statement, why are you punishing yourself too? Invite some friends over have a [party and make the kid sit on the couch and watch. or turn on the TV and make the kid face away from it. Just do what you normally do.

[Kaneman]

I'm sorry I just don't understand your statement, why are you punishing yourself too? Invite some friends over have a [party and make the kid sit on the couch and watch. or turn on the TV and make the kid face away from it. Just do what you normally do.

What I normally do is bad ass fun stuff with my kid....if he's grounded there's not much to do. :lol:

[Apoc]

As far as taking his things away....he earns the money that pays for those things....how can I take away what he earned?

He's a kid. Earned or not, you are his parent, and you are the only law he knows. How do you take what he earned? You say, 'Im the dad, and your the kid, and you'll learn to listen to me immediately, or be very very unhappy.'

Unless he's in his mid-teens. Then you just beat him.

[Kaneman]

He's a kid. Earned or not, you are his parent, and you are the only law he knows. How do you take what he earned? You say, 'Im the dad, and your the kid, and you'll learn to listen to me immediately, or be very very unhappy.'

Unless he's in his mid-teens. Then you just beat him.

Nope, I don't take away what he earned. He may lose the right to use it within my house, but I won't steal things he paid for. I think that would be detrimental to our relationship. I liken it to when my Dad would threaten to keep me out of football practice, so I quit football. Or soccer, karate, same thing....nobody wants something held over their head.

I guess its not an issue since he doesn't misbehave. But on those oh so rare occasions when it happens, grounding/taking things away is not the way I deal with it.

[Particle Man]

He's just afraid of your thumbs. :eek:

[Apoc]

Nope, I don't take away what he earned. He may lose the right to use it within my house, but I won't steal things he paid for. I think that would be detrimental to our relationship. I liken it to when my Dad would threaten to keep me out of football practice, so I quit football. Or soccer, karate, same thing....nobody wants something held over their head.

I guess its not an issue since he doesn't misbehave. But on those oh so rare occasions when it happens, grounding/taking things away is not the way I deal with it.


Oh, I dont think things should be permanently taken away. But wether he bought them or not, no video games in your house is more then reasonable if he's not getting good grades. You have to be a parent sometimes, even when its not the fun thing to do.

Kids need to learn that if they behave, they have fun.

[caveman]

So you ground them and take things away as punishment in lieu of spanking right?

My problem with grounding is that its like grounding myself. If I can't let him do anything fun, then what the fuck am I supposed to do all day? :lol:

As far as taking his things away....he earns the money that pays for those things....how can I take away what he earned?

I agree to an extent. If the family has planned a trip to an amusement park or some other fun event, to take it away from the child takes it away from me or my wife as well. I have threatened to do exactly this and said that I would stay home if it came to that. Oh, and would I be pissed for missing that as I love the roller coasters and going with the family fun stuff like that. I usually get the expected behavior change just in the nick of time for redemption.
However, if we are just chillin at home, the kid will sit on the stairs looking at the wall. No toys, no TV, not one damn thing. I will still go about my buisiness as usual other than checking every now and again to make sure they are where I left them.

I'm sorry I just don't understand your statement, why are you punishing yourself too? Invite some friends over have a [party and make the kid sit on the couch and watch. or turn on the TV and make the kid face away from it. Just do what you normally do.

Truth. But, if I was having a party they would be nowhere near the festivities. More like laying in bed looking at the ceiling or sleeping.

[Kaneman]

Oh, I dont think things should be permanently taken away. But wether he bought them or not, no video games in your house is more then reasonable if he's not getting good grades. You have to be a parent sometimes, even when its not the fun thing to do.

Kids need to learn that if they behave, they have fun.

Most of the fun I've had in my life came from misbehaving. :lol:

No, I guess my point is that if you do it right (parenting) you don't have to punish your kid all that often anyway...if ever. I get not letting them kill zombies and stuff if they're grades are suffering and so forth, but I'm just not into the whole grounding thing. We're too active for that.