View Full Version : Katy Perry is a Cunt
http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/amplifier/89134/staring-at-katy-perry-could-cost-you-your-job/
t's very rare for a tour rider to make an artist look good. It is, after all, the rundown of provisions a performer requires on the road, and even Mr. Rogers' list of demands might come off selfish and neurotic. But in some instances, requests on tour riders are so outlandish, so obnoxious, they become legendary. Van Halen had a rule about brown M&Ms. Axl Rose needed Wonder Bread. And Katy Perry has a line item about carnations: "ABSOLUTELY NO CARNATIONS."
Unless coming into contact with a carnation will cause the 26-year-old singer seizures or death, Perry's specifications about the flowers in her dressing room are a little extreme. But that's nothing compared to the rules governing her drivers that came to light yesterday when a six-page excerpt of her 45-page rider hit the Smoking Gun. According to the document drawn up for her California Dreams World Tour, drivers chauffeuring Perry are not permitted to open doors, touch bags, or "stair at the backseat thru the rearvieuw mirrow" (that rule was so exciting, whoever typed it up mangled it beyond recognition). Furthermore, the driver will not start a conversation with Perry, speak to her guests or fans, ask for autographs, speak on the phone, or drive anywhere other than the left lane on highways. In total, there are 23 bullet points on the page marked "Principle Driver Policy." Perry's reps have not responded to a request for comment at press time.
While many of the requests for Perry's dressing rooms are pretty standard (tea, fresh fruit, chips and salsa), and one is even awesome (she outfits her team with Sigg water bottles to reduce waste), there is a provision in the part of the rider that addresses tickets that is particularly off-putting. On page 17, Perry's team asks for promoters to set aside seats for her "Personal Manager" to resell via secondary ticket vendors, adding Katy's crew isn't required to share any of the profits with the promoter. That means Perry's people are selling a handful of tickets directly to fans via the legendarily inflated secondary-ticket market -- the market artists like Bruce Springsteen have condemned -- and pocketing the profits. That's unflattering -- not as unflattering as the photo Perry picked for her hilarious "Last Friday Night" remix cover, but it's not a good look
I am ok with everything except the keep left on the highway line. The fucking bitch needs to be piled drived into oncoming traffic. Keep left fuckers deserve to die.
Avatard
05-22-2011, 03:23 PM
There's reasons behind even the most obscure rider provisions, I assure you.
I know Alex, and he actually told me why the Brown M&M clause (I asked), and I can assure you, it's there for a VERY good fucking reason, and actually has exactly SHIT to do with their preference in chocolates.
:lmao:
There's reasons behind even the most obscure rider provisions, I assure you.
I know Alex, and he actually told me why the Brown M&M clause (I asked), and I can assure you, it's there for a VERY good fucking reason, and actually has exactly SHIT to do with their preference in chocolates.
:lmao:
I don't care what the reason is, left laners deserve violent deaths.
Avatard
05-22-2011, 03:44 PM
Wanna bet she got stuck in a fucking limo with some asshole that couldn't make fucking time, and she missed a flight?
I think, given what I know about her and hubby, their schedule, and demands of their itinerary, I'd characterize that as a "hammer down" clause, personally, and I think you're misreading it. I think she wants to be in the left fucking lane to GO FAST, not hold up, nor get held up in, fucking traffic.
'Least that's how I'm reading it.
Don't open the door? That's because she may have been caught by surprise previously by someone opening the limo door before she was ready to present herself. Unprofessional, and uncool. Seems reasonable.
Don't touch the bags? Someone probably did her a "favor" and moved her bag somewhere and it got left behind, or pinched. When you're on tour, you NEED your personal effects, and replacing them while on tour can be near IMPOSSIBLE. I get it.
Don't stare at the backseat? Well, misspellings aside, the reasoning should be obvious; no one wants to be watched, and SOMEONE NEEDS TO DRIVE.
There's probably logical explanations for every fucking item.
Oddly enough, though, sometimes you just have to word things in the most convoluted way in order to make sure that your needs are actually met, which to an outsider, may sound absurd.
Wanna bet she got stuck in a fucking limo with some asshole that couldn't make fucking time, and she missed a flight?
I think, given what I know about her and hubby, their schedule, and demands of their itinerary, I'd characterize that as a "hammer down" clause, personally, and I think you're misreading it. I think she wants to be in the left fucking lane to GO FAST, not hold up fucking traffic.
'Least that's how I'm reading it.
Don't open the door? That's because she may have been caught by surprise previously by someone opening the limo door before she was ready to present herself.
Don't touch the bags? Someone probably did her a "favor" and moved her bag somewhere and it got left behind, or pinched. When you're on tour, you NEED your personal effects, and replacing them while on tour can be near IMPOSSIBLE.
Don't stare at the backseat? Well, misspellings aside, the reasoning should be obvious; no one wants to be watched, and SOMEONE NEEDS TO DRIVE.
There's probably logical explanations for every fucking item.
Theres a difference between having a "go fast" clause and "always" be in the left lane. Fuck her. She is just a fucking jester. All musicians are just fucking jesters for our entertainment. They seem to forgotten their place and we need to stop feeding their attitudes.
Avatard
05-22-2011, 04:00 PM
There is an aspect of truth to what you say, but not all are jesters. Some (few) refuse to be, and can remain pure and honest.
My father NEVER compromised. My sister? An example of the other thing...
There is an aspect of truth to what you say, but not all are jesters. Some (few) refuse to be, and can remain pure and honest.
My father NEVER compromised. My sister? An example of the other thing...
Yeah I guess you are right about all of them not being that way, Katy is one of these though. I just have a big pet peeve about left laners though. LOL
I just have a big pet peeve about left laners though. LOL
Yup that left lane thing is kinda rediculous, unless she gets a driver that will always go faster then traffic around her which would make the left lane thing cool. But its still pretty stupid in its wording
Particle Man
05-22-2011, 04:38 PM
Whatever her demands, I'd still tickle her elmo...
Adeptus_Minor
05-22-2011, 04:44 PM
Whatever her demands, I'd still tickle her elmo...
Yes. That.
:boobs:
Corey
05-22-2011, 04:48 PM
I didn't know we had to qualify that she was a cunt. Never trust a whore who has to trowel on her makeup.
Rangerscott
05-22-2011, 04:49 PM
I was flicking through the channels one day and she was on MTV visiting a poor school or some shit. She told the girls that she came from nothing. Doesn't take long for money to turn you.
Tmall
05-22-2011, 05:41 PM
She can do whatever she wants. I fapped three times over the thread title.
Papa_Complex
05-22-2011, 06:19 PM
I was flicking through the channels one day and she was on MTV visiting a poor school or some shit. She told the girls that she came from nothing. Doesn't take long for money to turn you.
I would say that it's far easier to become twisted if you came from nothing, than if you had a little money to start with. I've you've never had it, then you have no idea how to deal with it.
Avatard
05-22-2011, 06:44 PM
As for that clause asking for a private block of tickets? I think I may know what's up there too, and I don't think it's there so much for her to resell them.
Promoters are real cunts about making any guest tix available. They don't wanna lose a single fucking dollar. More than once I've had to watch my own dad's show from backstage at Carnegie Hall, etc. Even at the largest shows, they often will give you only 4 guest tix (!).
By specifically negotiating a priced block of tickets into the deal, she probably guarantees she can actually get some of her own fucking peeps in the door every so often. Do they resell any unused? Yeah, probably.
:shrug:
By negotiating it into the contract, she just guarantees that she has access to some tickets at all...in the end, she has to forfeit the money they would bring the promoter in the deal...so it all negotiates out. This just makes sure she can fucking have some.
Again, none of this is rocket surgery if you've seen it from the other side.
...And for the press to pretend they don't know what time it is, is fucking bullshit too.
They just love sensationalism.
goof2
05-22-2011, 06:46 PM
On the "left lane only" thing, if she is in such a hurry she can drive herself. She doesn't need to make some schlub limo driver get a ticket (and possibly lose his/her job due to increased insurance for the limo company) because she is so busy she needs to be raced everywhere.
She needs to either manage her schedule better, risk the tickets by driving herself, or realize the driver will actually need to continue to work after Her Highness gets on the next plane to grace another schlub limo driver with her presence.:shrug:
Avatard
05-22-2011, 06:55 PM
On the "left lane only" thing, if she is in such a hurry she can drive herself. She doesn't need to make some schlub limo driver get a ticket (and possibly lose his/her job due to increased insurance for the limo company) because she is so busy she needs to be raced everywhere.
Wrong. Show must go on. Chauffeur takes the bullet, and they call a cab if anything. You don't keep thousands waiting. They can get ugly.
She needs to either manage her schedule better, risk the tickets by driving herself, or realize the driver will actually need to continue to work after Her Highness gets on the next plane to grace another schlub limo driver with her presence.:shrug:
Can't do the gig, don't make the cattle call, son. It's a tough world.
Learn to buck up.
HA HA, her douche husband got kicked out of Japan.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20110522/wl_asia_afp/entertainmentjapanusbritainpeople
Avatard
05-22-2011, 07:04 PM
Yeah, I read that earlier today. He probably injured someone's ego coming in, and they looked up his old address.
He's a real threat to society, that guy.
Yeah, I read that earlier today. He probably injured someone's ego coming in, and they looked up his old address.
He's a real threat to society, that guy.
He could of also done something to support something Japan has interest in. They don't fuck around with the whale/dolphin protesters and such.
Avatard
05-22-2011, 07:12 PM
For what it's worth, I thought Katie handled it well. She's gonna soldier on and do the show for the fans in Japan without her husband's support.
I could easily see telling everyone to go piss up a fucking rope for kicking out my squeeze when I'm flying in to sing for people.
:shrug:
Doesn't exactly make you feel wanted on foreign soil when they do shit like that to ya.
I can see going the fuck home.
Doesn't exactly make you feel wanted on foreign soil when they do shit like that to ya.
.
For qwhat its worth, we arent really wanted on japanese soil anyway.
Avatard
05-22-2011, 07:32 PM
Depends on who you talk to.
I've been there a number of times. They love Americans. They don't always agree with our gov, but then again, do you?
:shrug:
Depends on who you talk to.
I've been there a number of times. They love Americans. They don't always agree with our gov, but then again, do you?
:shrug:
were like a novelty to them. Nice to see, but wouldnt wanna keep us.
Avatard
05-22-2011, 08:44 PM
We are fascinating to them because we have hippies, and jocks, and lowriders, and Harleys, and Rock and Roll, and what's that other thing? Oh yeah; individuality...diversity.
They all look alike. They all go to schools where they dress alike. They all have the same fucking haircut as Moe.
Of course we're fascinating by comparison.
dReWpY
05-22-2011, 09:45 PM
i think I can say that I have to side with 'tard on this on, having alot of friends in the country music industry they get dicked around just as much as they let the industry get away with, you set solid boundries and they have to respect them, I see no fault
and for the record I like the Brits humor, i may not agree with it all the time, but the dude is entertaining
goof2
05-23-2011, 12:07 AM
Wrong. Show must go on. Chauffeur takes the bullet, and they call a cab if anything. You don't keep thousands waiting. They can get ugly.
Can't do the gig, don't make the cattle call, son. It's a tough world.
Learn to buck up.
What is wrong about it is her apparent disdain for other people to the point she would contractually demand a limo driver drive like a dick, risk getting a ticket, and potentially losing his/her job because she and her people can't manage a schedule.
Avatard
05-23-2011, 12:11 AM
No clause is there for no fucking reason. People put shit in their fucking rider when they get hosed, in order to prevent it from happening again.
I guarantee some slow-ass timid fucking limo driver that wouldn't fucking pass people on the left cost this woman a flight, and probably a fucking gig, or that shit wouldn't be in her rider.
goof2
05-23-2011, 12:39 AM
No clause is there for no fucking reason. People put shit in their fucking rider when they get hosed, in order to prevent it from happening again.
I guarantee some slow-ass timid fucking limo driver that wouldn't fucking pass people on the left cost this woman a flight, and probably a fucking gig, or that shit wouldn't be in her rider.
I'd bet that is what happened, and now every limo driver she has from now on is being held accountable. Sounds like a real sweetheart.
Particle Man
05-23-2011, 07:27 AM
I'd bet that is what happened, and now every limo driver she has from now on is being held accountable. Sounds like a real sweetheart.
Someone costs you a bunch of money and the subsequent legal hassle of you being sued by the venue for lost profits you'd probably do the same.
Avatard
05-23-2011, 07:44 AM
I'd bet that is what happened, and now every limo driver she has from now on is being held accountable. Sounds like a real sweetheart.
Just making sure she gets what she need to make the gig on time. Sounds like a good business person to me.
marko138
05-23-2011, 08:08 AM
Just making sure she gets what she need to make the gig on time. Sounds like a good business person to me.
Don't hold out on us...whats the deal with the brown M&Ms?
Avatard
05-23-2011, 08:16 AM
Al told me it was about making sure the contract was honored.
If they get to a gig, and there's a nice big bowl of M&Ms with no brown ones, they know that someone read every aspect of the contract, and that they can relax, and have a good show.
If they get to a gig, and there's no bowl of M&Ms, they know they're fucked.
If there's a bowl there with M&Ms, but there's brown ones in it, they know someone read the fucking rider, but maybe not so carefully, and it's time to start looking around, and asking questions to make sure all is OK.
I know it's not as glamorous sounding as "they trash the dressing room if they don't get their favorite eccentric confectionery request", but it's actually there in the rider for what turns out to be merely an easy color-coded barometric indicator of actual rider compliance, that helps them stay on top of things while on the road.
:shrug:
Things ain't always what deyz seems, folks.
Now that you can easily buy M&Ms in any color you want, you could have some fun fucking with them.
Al told me it was about making sure the contract was honored.
If they get to a gig, and there's a nice big bowl of M&Ms with no brown ones, they know that someone read every aspect of the contract, and that they can relax, and have a good show.
If they get to a gig, and there's no bowl of M&Ms, they know they're fucked.
If there's a bowl there with M&Ms, but there's brown ones in it, they know someone read the fucking rider, but maybe not so carefully, and it's time to start looking around, and asking questions to make sure all is OK.
I know it's not as glamorous sounding as "they trash the dressing room if they don't get their favorite eccentric confectionery request", but it's actually there in the rider for what turns out to be merely an easy color-coded barometric indicator of actual rider compliance, that helps them stay on top of things while on the road.
:shrug:
Things ain't always what deyz seems, folks.
What if there are three bowls? One with every color M&Ms, then one with every color except the brown ones, then a third with just the brown ones removed from the 2nd bowl? What would that do for them?
Avatard
05-23-2011, 08:54 AM
Probably let them know that the people on that particular gig are going to be a pain in the dick, and are out to fuck with them, and aren't particularly interested in honoring their contract, or its rider provisions.
What if the bowl just had blue M&Ms?
Avatard
05-23-2011, 09:00 AM
Gee, I have no idea Trip. I haven't spoken to Al in years, but I'll ask him if I run into him, I'll be sure and pose the question, mmmkay?
Avatard
05-23-2011, 09:08 AM
My guess is, that if you can buy them in any color, and the rider just says "no brown ones", then they'd probably find that whoever's taking care of shit is not only paying attention to detail, but is pretty efficient too.
The point is that the entire thing is neither eccentric nor mysterious...it's just good, efficient thinking.
People just wanna work and go home, man...most of this shit's not that hard to figure out.
Don't hold out on us...whats the deal with the brown M&Ms?
Al told me it was about making sure the contract was honored.
If they get to a gig, and there's a nice big bowl of M&Ms with no brown ones, they know that someone read every aspect of the contract, and that they can relax, and have a good show.
If they get to a gig, and there's no bowl of M&Ms, they know they're fucked.
If there's a bowl there with M&Ms, but there's brown ones in it, they know someone read the fucking rider, but maybe not so carefully, and it's time to start looking around, and asking questions to make sure all is OK.
I know it's not as glamorous sounding as "they trash the dressing room if they don't get their favorite eccentric confectionery request", but it's actually there in the rider for what turns out to be merely an easy color-coded barometric indicator of actual rider compliance, that helps them stay on top of things while on the road.
:shrug:
Things ain't always what deyz seems, folks.
i thought this was common knowledge at this point?
Yeah, no way I would sort that shit. Just go to the M&M store and buy a buttload of one color. LOL
Particle Man
05-23-2011, 09:11 AM
What if the bowl just had blue M&Ms?
:asshole: :lol:
You know you can get M&M's with pictures on them. Get a crude drawing of poop and get only brown M&Ms with poop drawn on them.
marko138
05-23-2011, 09:19 AM
Al told me it was about making sure the contract was honored.
If they get to a gig, and there's a nice big bowl of M&Ms with no brown ones, they know that someone read every aspect of the contract, and that they can relax, and have a good show.
If they get to a gig, and there's no bowl of M&Ms, they know they're fucked.
If there's a bowl there with M&Ms, but there's brown ones in it, they know someone read the fucking rider, but maybe not so carefully, and it's time to start looking around, and asking questions to make sure all is OK.
I know it's not as glamorous sounding as "they trash the dressing room if they don't get their favorite eccentric confectionery request", but it's actually there in the rider for what turns out to be merely an easy color-coded barometric indicator of actual rider compliance, that helps them stay on top of things while on the road.
:shrug:
Things ain't always what deyz seems, folks.
Thanks.
While I am certainly not going to defend Katy Perry, as a low level musician that has played many shows over the last 15 years I can absolutely understand the need for this shit. I've played a lot of horrible shows.
Avatard
05-23-2011, 09:35 AM
i thought this was common knowledge at this point?
I'm sure some people know, Al didn't act like it was a secret. It's just not the story the press likes to tell.
Adeptus_Minor
05-23-2011, 10:33 AM
Honestly, for all the privilege that celebrity status affords people, I can't imagine living with the hassle that comes with it.
If making a few little demands here and there, no matter how ridiculous they may seem to the rest of us, helps them deal with it (and provided these requests aren't hurting themselves or anyone else), who gives a shit?
Tmall
05-23-2011, 11:07 AM
Honestly, for all the privilege that celebrity status affords people, I can't imagine living with the hassle that comes with it.
If making a few little demands here and there, no matter how ridiculous they may seem to the rest of us, helps them deal with it (and provided these requests aren't hurting themselves or anyone else), who gives a shit?
Exactly. Not a single person has a gun to their head to meet those demands. They choose to do it.
Avatard
05-23-2011, 11:12 AM
In fact, everything is negotiated beforehand...that's why there is a fucking rider.
Who cares if you need a banana in your ass to perform, if you pay for the fucking banana, and everyone agrees, have at it.
:shrug:
(and provided these requests aren't hurting themselves or anyone else), who gives a shit?
I don't care about her demands that involve herself and the people being paid to wait on her hand and foot. Like the M&Ms, that shit doesn't bother me. They are paying her, that's part of the payment. The blocking the left lane effects all of us. Fuck her, I am not giving her or expecting to be given a single cent for her crappy music/performance, she should keep right like everyone else on the planet.
azoomm
05-23-2011, 11:59 AM
I just like how everyone thinks the left lane piece was from Katy herself. I'd be willing to bet that was a management write in.
I just like how everyone thinks the left lane piece was from Katy herself. I'd be willing to bet that was a management write in.
Whoever it was, fuck them.
Avatard
05-23-2011, 12:07 PM
I just like how everyone thinks the left lane piece was from Katy herself. I'd be willing to bet that was a management write in.
Probably. Her involvement likely ended at: "Make sure this shit doesn't happen again, motherfucker was in the right lane the entire time, and wouldn't pass anyone".
shmike
05-23-2011, 12:16 PM
Probably. Her involvement likely ended at: "Make sure this shit doesn't happen again, motherfucker was in the right lane the entire time, and wouldn't pass anyone".
How pissed will she be next time when she is sitting in a backed up left lane watching traffic to her right buzz by? :lol:
How pissed will she be next time when she is sitting in a backed up left lane watching traffic to her right buzz by? :lol:
I hope this happens to her every time she gets in the left lane and that driver doesn't say a word or acknowledge her as she throws a fit and just sits in the left lane because he is following the directions of her rider.
Avatard
05-23-2011, 12:23 PM
Dude, her management wouldn't be the first people to mangle a rider.
It's like everything else in life.
I eventually had to start doing all of my mom's contracts, just to cut down on fuckups.
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