My New Parrot

[Hondahugger]

My New Parrot

Recently I received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

I tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else I could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back.

I shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. So, in desperation, I threw up my hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that I'd hurt the parrot, I quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

I was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As I was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,

"May I ask what the turkey did?"


Happy Thanksgiving!

[Racerboy]

A truly funny classic....

[LOZ]

lol

[Hondahugger]

lolWell, I thought it was funny, But what do i know?

[Avatard]

I liked it.

:lmao:

[ericr]

Well, I thought it was funny, But what do i know?


:lmao: That was a god one! Hadn't heard it before.

[MILK]

:lol: And as the owner of 2 parrots may I say that although mine don't cuss they do make: alarm clock, burglar alarm, microwave, and many other truly ANNOYING noises!!!! :lmao:

[Hondahugger]

My moms parrot makes the telephone sound and will sit there ringing until someone answers him!

[MILK]

My moms parrot makes the telephone sound and will sit there ringing until someone answers him!


Mine says my ex boyfriends name - from 9 YEARS ago!! :lmao: I told my husband he is saying, READY, not Randy! BWAHAHAHAHA!

[KSGregman]

That was quality....but....the first thing I thought of when I saw the thread title was Ruby the foul mouthed parrot. I nearly pissed myself laughing at that bird. :lmao:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OXcxu9Hpjw

[Smittie61984]

Hahaha. That's awesome.

You reminded me of Dave Attell when he talked about wanting a parrot. He goes on to say "If I had a parrot I wouldn't teach it to say dirty things. I'd use it more as a Palm Pilot. (Parrot Voice) No one has freckles on their ass wear a condom, Raawrrr. Thank you palm parrot!"

Then later on he goes on to talk about gambilng stories and how they start off awesome and get bad. And says "I was up 8,000 dollars. Next thing you know I'm blowing a guy for a sandwich. (Parrot Voice) Eat before you go, rawrr!. Thaks palm parrot but a little late for that.

I just remembered I had a customer once who had an 80year old (Might have even been in the 100s) parrot that belonged to his grandfather who got it at 18. It was very cool and spoke like a true Southern man. Or picture Gone with the Wind accents. He had a few words though that just don't get used anymore in reference to a black man.

[OneSickPsycho]

I had a friend in HS who's mom had a African Grey or someshit... Simon...

This fucking bird would make the EXACT same sound as the phone... The phone would ring and you'd pick it up... dial tone... and the phone's still ringing... actually, it was the fucking bird.

About the only sorta cool thing it said was, "lights out Simon" anytime you'd put it's cover on it's cage... We desperately tried to teach it profanities to no avail...