askmrjesus
12-28-2008, 01:38 PM
...the worst movie in history.
BLOODFREAK!
This film combines FAIL with an unimaginably bad plot.
Bad acting? Oh yes. Buckets full.
Bad direction? Check. At one point you can hear the director giving directions in the background.
The film also has bad editing, bad lighting, bad sound and looks like it was shot in Super 8 by a blind man with delirium tremors.
But lets get to the good part, the "plot".
Our hero (Hershell) is riding his chopper down the highway, when he comes upon a pretty girl having car trouble. At least you think she has car trouble because she's staring at the car, and the car's not moving. Herschell stops, smiles at the girl, gets back on his chopper and leaves. The girl follows in her car, which is now running, even though nobody has looked under the hood, or for that matter, said anything.
Somehow the girl (Angel) leads Hershell back to her sisters place, where he is offered some pot, some blow, and some sex. None of which he seems to want. There's something wrong with this guy already. What he does want, is a job. He meets a nice Christian man at the party who offers him a job at a turkey farm.
On his first day at the turkey farm, he is encouraged to eat some turkey that has been treated with some sort of evil chemical, which causes Hershell to have a seizure, and turn into a turkey himself, (try to stay with me, it gets weird after this part). It's really just his head that turns into a giant turkey head, the rest of him seems normal, except for his hands, which are now all scabby looking.
So, now that he has a giant turkey head, Hershell decides to try some pot and have sex with Angel's sister, who for some strange reason agrees (she does, however, wonder aloud about what their children might look like).
Now that Hershell is "addicted" to pot, he takes the next logical step, which we all know, is to become a vampire turkey and stalk drug addicts so he can drink their blood. Yep, he's a chopper riding turkey vampire on a killing spree. I shit you not.
But wait- there's a surprise! As it turns out, it's all just a bad dream, and Hershell isn't really a chopper riding turkey vampire on a killing spree (Damn!) he just had a bad trip on the turkey he ate with the evil chemical in it, because it turns out that our hero is a Nam vet who is addicted to pot, and the combination of pot and evil turkey chemicals makes for a REALLY bad trip.
So, he wakes up, finds Jesus, and lives happily ever after with Angel's slutty pot head sister.
The End.
Without a doubt, the most stunningly bad film I have ever seen. I highly recommend it.
JC
http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk114/hunter900ie/BloodFreak.jpg
BLOODFREAK!
This film combines FAIL with an unimaginably bad plot.
Bad acting? Oh yes. Buckets full.
Bad direction? Check. At one point you can hear the director giving directions in the background.
The film also has bad editing, bad lighting, bad sound and looks like it was shot in Super 8 by a blind man with delirium tremors.
But lets get to the good part, the "plot".
Our hero (Hershell) is riding his chopper down the highway, when he comes upon a pretty girl having car trouble. At least you think she has car trouble because she's staring at the car, and the car's not moving. Herschell stops, smiles at the girl, gets back on his chopper and leaves. The girl follows in her car, which is now running, even though nobody has looked under the hood, or for that matter, said anything.
Somehow the girl (Angel) leads Hershell back to her sisters place, where he is offered some pot, some blow, and some sex. None of which he seems to want. There's something wrong with this guy already. What he does want, is a job. He meets a nice Christian man at the party who offers him a job at a turkey farm.
On his first day at the turkey farm, he is encouraged to eat some turkey that has been treated with some sort of evil chemical, which causes Hershell to have a seizure, and turn into a turkey himself, (try to stay with me, it gets weird after this part). It's really just his head that turns into a giant turkey head, the rest of him seems normal, except for his hands, which are now all scabby looking.
So, now that he has a giant turkey head, Hershell decides to try some pot and have sex with Angel's sister, who for some strange reason agrees (she does, however, wonder aloud about what their children might look like).
Now that Hershell is "addicted" to pot, he takes the next logical step, which we all know, is to become a vampire turkey and stalk drug addicts so he can drink their blood. Yep, he's a chopper riding turkey vampire on a killing spree. I shit you not.
But wait- there's a surprise! As it turns out, it's all just a bad dream, and Hershell isn't really a chopper riding turkey vampire on a killing spree (Damn!) he just had a bad trip on the turkey he ate with the evil chemical in it, because it turns out that our hero is a Nam vet who is addicted to pot, and the combination of pot and evil turkey chemicals makes for a REALLY bad trip.
So, he wakes up, finds Jesus, and lives happily ever after with Angel's slutty pot head sister.
The End.
Without a doubt, the most stunningly bad film I have ever seen. I highly recommend it.
JC
http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk114/hunter900ie/BloodFreak.jpg