OSP's Craigslist Personal Ad

[OneSickPsycho]

Feeling inspired from a comment in another thread. I posted a personal ad on Craigslist. I will post all the responses I get from it as they come in (if it doesn't getted flagged).

Enjoy.
http://orlando.craigslist.org/m4w/997914204.html

[Cutty72]

Nice work. I'm sure the emails will be coming in by the hundreds

[OneSickPsycho]

Nice work. I'm sure the emails will be coming in by the hundreds

If you build it, they will come.

[Cutty72]

If you build it, they will come.

and then cum... and then get burried in your back yard with the golden shovel :lol:

[tommymac]

Holy shit that is funny :crackup:

Tom

[rogue]

:lmao: :lmao:


Good work, OSP. :dthumb:

[Amorok]

Awesome. You're a ladies man.

[ericr]

:lmao: That's gonna have them beating a path to your door!

[VatorMan]

Classic. I would expect nothing less. I still bet you get some 200 pounders applying for the position.

[OneSickPsycho]

Two email's actually (both from the same person):

1st
You sound too good to be true.

2nd
I forgot to send you my address:
Casey Anthony
Inmate #F8383
Horizons unit
33rd st.
Orl FL

[JoJoYZF]

You did a great job on that, it seemed to really cover everything, even the shovels. Cant wait to see what the replies say.

[Ninjakel]

I flagged it for best of. :lmao:

Hilarious!

[OneSickPsycho]

1 - fishing for valid emails to spam I'd imagine...
Good post off Craigslist, I figured I'd send you a reply cuz I think we may get along rather well. If ya want I can send some pics you gotta mail me on my normal email gooonygiants50@gmail.com cuz I don't use this one for anything important so I rarely check it. Bye bye!

2 - cannot say what this one's angle is, but I'm sure there's one...
Whats up? My name's jolyn, Just crossed by your post. I hope we get in touch, I?m 26 and a few weeks now, and i'm a doctor. I just moved into town for work. If you are interested in getting to know me.. shoot me an email. Have a good day

[OneSickPsycho]

I responded to both asking for naked pictures... I got this in return from the one:
Hey there I just got on here to check my email real quick cuz I gottahead out, I'll be back a later on though. My girl friend set me up onthis site the other night called http://www.sexy-locals.com trying toget me to meet someone and I did the profile thing about me and whatI'm like and what I'm lookin for and put pics up and whatnot. Myscreenname there is SxyLindaB08 if u wanna take a look. I took an hourto do it so its probably more info about me than I would give out on adate even lol. I gotta get going tho.. check it out if u want to andtell me what you think.

I was hoping for more interesting responses, but then again... the ad is still young.

[PhiSig1071]

:lol

Nicely done, I'm surprised that it's lasted this long without being removed.

[Carolina]

man u crazy that was a funny ad

[Smittie61984]

Hahahahaha OSP FTMFW

[t-homo]

You, sir, are a gentleman and scholar.

[jalaan1]

funny thing is, you'll probably end up with a meaningful LONG lasting relationship with your soul mate.

:idk:

[njchopper87]

funny thing is, you'll probably end up with a meaningful LONG lasting relationship with your soul mate.

:idk:

I was thinking they very same thing.

Funny listing though

[OneSickPsycho]

Whats up, .... ......? you want to be turned on? i'm playing with myself right now, will you watch me? I don't do this much, so please let me know if you're interested. , i hope you're around.

[VatorMan]

Two email's actually (both from the same person):

1st
You sound too good to be true.

2nd
I forgot to send you my address:
Casey Anthony
Inmate #F8383
Horizons unit
33rd st.
Orl FL


The awesomeness of this... Conjugal visits without the hassle of a sleepover. Hopefully she is in for life.

[SoFlaSV]

You're funny S.O.B..:lol

[jalaan1]

Whats up, .... ......? you want to be turned on? i'm playing with myself right now, will you watch me? I don't do this much, so please let me know if you're interested. , i hope you're around.

that sounds like Mrs. OSP right there.:diitb:

[Smittie61984]

funny thing is, you'll probably end up with a meaningful LONG lasting relationship with your soul mate.

:idk:

Women love assholes and jerks. He'll probably get a bagillion meaningful replies and 10lasting relationships because the more girlfriends you have hte more drama and the more each girlfriend will love you.

[OneSickPsycho]

Whats up, .... ......? you want to be turned on? i'm playing with myself right now, will you watch me? I don't do this much, so please let me know if you're interested. , i hope you're around.

This one turned to an ad too...

Try to come in, Heres the site: http://number1stunna.info/profile.php?x=1&user=jolyn&id=42 -- Once you get there.. send a message in the chat so i know it's you

[the chi]

spammers FTW! That crap is funny, l can't wait to see how long it lasts!

[Rider]

What does the original ad say.? It's blocked.

[Flexin]

What does the original ad say.? It's blocked.

Psychopathic Maniac Seeks Young Women For Short-Term Relationships - 28 (SE Orlando)
Reply to: pers-997914204@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-01-18, 3:53PM EST


As the title states, I'm a psycho... seriously. Let's make it clear that I'm NOT a homocidal maniac... yet. Hopefully I could find the right woman... or women, to help me realize my goals.

I love animals, they're tasty. I'm not tall, but not short... kinda fat, but fucking beautiful. I like horror movies, the internet, my cat, and shovels. I think all motorcycles should be loud, ugly, black, and look like they don't really have enough parts to work right. I'm a grammer nazi and that last sentence pisses me off. Should have said, 'work properly'... This whole thing's gonna be fucked up so I'm going to have to execute the neighbor's dog or something to make myself feel better now.

My preference is mature women ages 18-30 who are not full of themselves and are highly intelligent. Looks are very important... I don't fuck around with ugly chicks. You don't have to be a super model, in fact I'd prefer you weren't. Really hot chicks tend to be high maintenance, pain in the asses. I prefer the girl next door. Ideally, good screamers. Sense of humor is obviously important and the propensity for vulgarity is absolutely needed. During playtime I don't want you screaming stupid shit like, "Oh dear god, help!", rather, "fuck you, you sick fucking asshole cocksucker!" Much better.

Be sure to send pictures with your response so I can start my closet shrine in your honor. Your address would be helpful too, just in case I get the hankering to masturbate in the bushes outside your bedroom window as I watch you sleep.


James

[Particle Man]

Hahahaha nice

[Racerboy]

I flagged it for Best of C/L also!!

[OneSickPsycho]

1 - moron spammer put the link in the first message... not a good way to fish...
Hey, saw your post. DO you like asian women? What part of town are you in? http://diane85.zdatesstore.info

2 - appears to be another spammer... let's see what response I get from requesting naked pictures.
want to chat? i just saw your ad..i liked it!
You must be the change you wish to see in the world. - Gandhi

3 - actual person... I responded requesting her address and naked pictures... she responded saying maybe later, then asked me a question. Fat chick.
Great post! Terribly funny!

[neebelung]

:lmao: That's gonna have them beating a path to your door!

...or him beating off on the path to their door. :rofl:

[OneSickPsycho]

Hey whats up! Thanks for emailing me back. I'm new to this wholeonline dating thing, and my friend told my about Craigslist so Ithought I'd just give it a try...I have a profile with all my info andsome pics on it at http://findlocalsnow.com?uid=AngelCutie9120 so ifyou want to see my pics and see if I'm your type go there and check!!Hope to hear back from you soon... send me your pics! :)

[Rider]

Did you really think you'd get a real response? I'm guessing that 100% of the replies will be spam.

[OneSickPsycho]

Did you really think you'd get a real response? I'm guessing that 100% of the replies will be spam.

Already got one...

[OneSickPsycho]

I am in desperate need of a VERY oral guy to go to town on my hourglass curves...let me tell you what I need... I have two luscious natural tits, DD cup, gorgeous pink nips, that need licking and tongue-flicking, sucking and generally just worship. The longer you spend on them, the happier I'll be! I'd even be happy if you gently scrape your teeth against them...drives me crazy! I also require someone who is very into pleasuring me orally. I keep myself clean and bare, need someone who is ver-r-r-ry hungry and loves licking and sucking on clits until we use a 'safe word,' because I sort of like it when a guy takes me to orgasm and doesn't stop, even when I'm squirming. If you're into rimming, that's wonderful too...I'm extremely clean so there's no worries there. If you're clean, too, I'd be happy to repay you the favor! I love giving head and am very good at it. I'm not skeleton thin, but not fat...like I say I have curves like an hourglass, nice small waist. I'm caucasian. Your pic will get you mine. :) Sound good? Tell me you want me! Photos available at my singles profile http://gofilr.com/brooke.html If you dont have an acct you will have to register to see me, but this is a free kinda like getting a gmail account.

[tommymac]

I am in desperate need of a VERY oral guy to go to town on my hourglass curves...let me tell you what I need... I have two luscious natural tits, DD cup, gorgeous pink nips, that need licking and tongue-flicking, sucking and generally just worship. The longer you spend on them, the happier I'll be! I'd even be happy if you gently scrape your teeth against them...drives me crazy! I also require someone who is very into pleasuring me orally. I keep myself clean and bare, need someone who is ver-r-r-ry hungry and loves licking and sucking on clits until we use a 'safe word,' because I sort of like it when a guy takes me to orgasm and doesn't stop, even when I'm squirming. If you're into rimming, that's wonderful too...I'm extremely clean so there's no worries there. If you're clean, too, I'd be happy to repay you the favor! I love giving head and am very good at it. I'm not skeleton thin, but not fat...like I say I have curves like an hourglass, nice small waist. I'm caucasian. Your pic will get you mine. :) Sound good? Tell me you want me! Photos available at my singles profile http://gofilr.com/brooke.html If you dont have an acct you will have to register to see me, but this is a free kinda like getting a gmail account.


She sounds like a keeper :lol:

Tom

[Captain Morgan]

Funny shit, bro. Maybe the doctor is a psychotherapist and wants to help you. :lol:


funny thing is, you'll probably end up with a meaningful LONG lasting relationship with your soul mate.

:idk:

I was thinking more like cell mate. :lol:

[neebelung]

... I have two luscious natural tits,


As opposed to what..... 4? 6? A baker's dozen? :rofl:

[OneSickPsycho]

Funny shit, bro. Maybe the doctor is a psychotherapist and wants to help you. :lol:

I was thinking more like cell mate. :lol:

The doctor was a fake one...

As opposed to what..... 4? 6? A baker's dozen? :rofl:

:rofl: I didn't even notice that...

[Rider]

I am in desperate need of a VERY oral guy to go to town on my hourglass curves...let me tell you what I need... I have two luscious natural tits, DD cup, gorgeous pink nips, that need licking and tongue-flicking, sucking and generally just worship. The longer you spend on them, the happier I'll be! I'd even be happy if you gently scrape your teeth against them...drives me crazy! I also require someone who is very into pleasuring me orally. I keep myself clean and bare, need someone who is ver-r-r-ry hungry and loves licking and sucking on clits until we use a 'safe word,' because I sort of like it when a guy takes me to orgasm and doesn't stop, even when I'm squirming. If you're into rimming, that's wonderful too...I'm extremely clean so there's no worries there. If you're clean, too, I'd be happy to repay you the favor! I love giving head and am very good at it. I'm not skeleton thin, but not fat...like I say I have curves like an hourglass, nice small waist. I'm caucasian. Your pic will get you mine. :) Sound good? Tell me you want me! Photos available at my singles profile http://gofilr.com/brooke.html If you dont have an acct you will have to register to see me, but this is a free kinda like getting a gmail account.

Probably a suicidal post op transvestite, who suffers from depression and rejection anxiety. Perfect match for you.

[OneSickPsycho]

Got a bunch of spam responses... they're pretty easy to identify now... All are super short, tell me how intriguing/interesting/exciting my ad was, then there's some quote at the bottom from a famous philosopher.

Also got this one, which seems to be real:
Wow,

So, you up for a poetry reading and a cup of tea on Saturday. LOL.

Nice

That was fuckin weird.

[derf]

Did you get one from a very large lady, and she might have included a picture?

[OneSickPsycho]

Did you get one from a very large lady, and she might have included a picture?

No pictures yet...

[derf]

When did you check, was it after like 2:30?

[OneSickPsycho]

Just checked... negative.

[OneSickPsycho]

When did you check, was it after like 2:30?

You sick... sick bastard.

[Mr Lefty]

You sick... sick bastard.

wow... that's quite the complement coming from you...

[OneSickPsycho]

wow... that's quite the complement coming from you...

Remember that picture of the huge fat chick in Daisy Duke's bent over the Kawi that floats around? It was that chick's fatter mom, I think naked, holding a box of chocolates.

[Mr Lefty]

bleh... a complement well deserved then...

[ericr]

Still have black Suburban's parked out front....and around back OSP? :lol:

[OneSickPsycho]

Still have black Suburban's parked out front....and around back OSP? :lol:

Shhhh! They're listening!

[ericr]

Shhhh! They're listening!

Ooooopss, my bad!

[azoomm]

Flagged for Best Of. :dthumb:

[derf]

Best of!!!

[Sixxxxer]

That is Amazing.

[Antwanny]

This is the most entertaining thread ive read, keep it alive.
________
Ford boss 302 engine history (http://www.ford-wiki.com/wiki/Ford_Boss_302_engine)

[OneSickPsycho]

Let's meet somewhere. I'll show up 30 minutes late (or more!) and smell vaguely of gasoline and smoke. There will be no explanation for this phenomenon. I will drive you to mumbles and recursive swearing by asking awkward personal questions within moments of our introduction. You will be charmed or appalled as you please at the nonsense I promise to spout in response to your attempts at small talk. At a loss, we will agree to simply get very, very drunk. At this point, in spite of finding each other the sexual equivalent of the color beige, we will go back to your place and hump frantically. I will sneer at your CD collection. You will ignore me and look at crazy news items on the Internet. While leaving, I will slip off my panties and tear them to shreds, leaving the threads in a pile by the side of your carport and muttering a hex I think I derived from the ambient noise in 'Suspiria'--but is actually an old Burma Shave ad.

When we unexpectedly run into one another again, I won't remember your name but will feel compelled to say hello regardless. When your friends ask how you know me, you'll explain that I am a homeless bum you gave change to once near your favorite luncheonette.

Can't you feel it, baby?

-H

[Flexin]

Let's meet somewhere. I'll show up 30 minutes late (or more!) and smell vaguely of gasoline and smoke. There will be no explanation for this phenomenon. I will drive you to mumbles and recursive swearing by asking awkward personal questions within moments of our introduction. You will be charmed or appalled as you please at the nonsense I promise to spout in response to your attempts at small talk. At a loss, we will agree to simply get very, very drunk. At this point, in spite of finding each other the sexual equivalent of the color beige, we will go back to your place and hump frantically. I will sneer at your CD collection. You will ignore me and look at crazy news items on the Internet. While leaving, I will slip off my panties and tear them to shreds, leaving the threads in a pile by the side of your carport and muttering a hex I think I derived from the ambient noise in 'Suspiria'--but is actually an old Burma Shave ad.

When we unexpectedly run into one another again, I won't remember your name but will feel compelled to say hello regardless. When your friends ask how you know me, you'll explain that I am a homeless bum you gave change to once near your favorite luncheonette.

Can't you feel it, baby?

-H

James

[SoFlaSV]

Let's meet somewhere. I'll show up 30 minutes late (or more!) and smell vaguely of gasoline and smoke. There will be no explanation for this phenomenon. I will drive you to mumbles and recursive swearing by asking awkward personal questions within moments of our introduction. You will be charmed or appalled as you please at the nonsense I promise to spout in response to your attempts at small talk. At a loss, we will agree to simply get very, very drunk. At this point, in spite of finding each other the sexual equivalent of the color beige, we will go back to your place and hump frantically. I will sneer at your CD collection. You will ignore me and look at crazy news items on the Internet. While leaving, I will slip off my panties and tear them to shreds, leaving the threads in a pile by the side of your carport and muttering a hex I think I derived from the ambient noise in 'Suspiria'--but is actually an old Burma Shave ad.

When we unexpectedly run into one another again, I won't remember your name but will feel compelled to say hello regardless. When your friends ask how you know me, you'll explain that I am a homeless bum you gave change to once near your favorite luncheonette.

Can't you feel it, baby?

-H


We have a winner!!! :diitb:

[Cutty72]

do her... do her in the butt...
do her anywhere and everywhere

[Mr Lefty]

:rofl: the funny thing is if that was written by a women... (I'll hope for your sake) she's got the same sense of humor as you... it'd be fuck'n hilarious if your ad actually led to you meeting someone :lmao:

[Cutty72]

so, chrome, bronze, silver, or gold shovel?

[Quick281]

Amazing, and some how this will lead to his soul mate.

[Amorok]

Let's meet somewhere. I'll show up 30 minutes late (or more!) and smell vaguely of gasoline and smoke. There will be no explanation for this phenomenon. I will drive you to mumbles and recursive swearing by asking awkward personal questions within moments of our introduction. You will be charmed or appalled as you please at the nonsense I promise to spout in response to your attempts at small talk. At a loss, we will agree to simply get very, very drunk. At this point, in spite of finding each other the sexual equivalent of the color beige, we will go back to your place and hump frantically. I will sneer at your CD collection. You will ignore me and look at crazy news items on the Internet. While leaving, I will slip off my panties and tear them to shreds, leaving the threads in a pile by the side of your carport and muttering a hex I think I derived from the ambient noise in 'Suspiria'--but is actually an old Burma Shave ad.

When we unexpectedly run into one another again, I won't remember your name but will feel compelled to say hello regardless. When your friends ask how you know me, you'll explain that I am a homeless bum you gave change to once near your favorite luncheonette.

Can't you feel it, baby?

-H

OSP, you've got to bang this chick. I mean, she's daimond shovel material. She'll probably turn out to be a man, which will be even more perfect.

[smileyman]

GO OSP GO! Like the time I tried to lap with Danny Eslick, or the time I tried to pass Jason Pridmore while he was giving passenger rides...You just have to go for it!!!

[PhiSig1071]

Damn, I just can't do it. I tried to write a response to fuck with OSP and I couldn't. It's just too homo.

[OneSickPsycho]

Damn, I just can't do it. I tried to write a response to fuck with OSP and I couldn't. It's just too homo.

You ain't fuckin' with nobody... I am not taking this shit seriously.

[azoomm]

:rofl: the funny thing is if that was written by a women... (I'll hope for your sake) she's got the same sense of humor as you... it'd be fuck'n hilarious if your ad actually led to you meeting someone :lmao:

It's almost too perfect. I'm just waiting for someone to fess up to it :lol:

[OneSickPsycho]

It's almost too perfect. I'm just waiting for someone to fess up to it :lol:

I requested pictures from that person and they sent me a pic of a once fat chick, naked, with lots of extra skin.

[VatorMan]

I requested pictures from that person and they sent me a pic of a once fat chick, naked, with lots of extra skin.

:rofl:

[Cutty72]

I requested pictures from that person and they sent me a pic of a once fat chick, naked, with lots of extra skin.

So when is your date?

[OneSickPsycho]

Whether you are real or not, your craigslist ad made me laugh out loud. I was having a fairly shitty day until I read that ad. Thank you for that!

Brandi

[derf]

Brandi should get a reply. And a request for a naked picture with a rubber chicken :)

[Dragonpaco]

It's almost too perfect. I'm just waiting for someone to fess up to it :lol:

as am i

[rogue]

Brandi should get a reply. And a request for a naked picture with a rubber chicken :)

Don't forget the cool whip! :rofl:

[azoomm]

Whether you are real or not, your craigslist ad made me laugh out loud. I was having a fairly shitty day until I read that ad. Thank you for that!

Brandi

Historically, chicks with an i on the end of their name are crazy. Usually hot, but crazy.

[Dragonpaco]

Don't forget the cool whip! :rofl:

rogue, dont project our personal playtime onto osp and his search for sweet elbowy love

[Katherine]

You, sir, are a gentleman and scholar.

Truth.

OSP, again you have raised the bar for men everywhere with your honesty and veracity. Oh, how I've missed your posts.

[Captain Morgan]

Historically, chicks with an i on the end of their name are crazy. Usually hot, but crazy.

Shit, I'm in trouble, then. I'm dating a Kerri.

[Archren]

Historically, chicks with an i on the end of their name are crazy. Usually hot, but crazy.

Does that rule apply to nicknames too? :rofl:

[Sixxxxer]

I think that rule is Null and void...anyone Named Danielle is a Dirty Cum guzzling whore of a slut.

I mean...Yeah...

Lol

[JoJoYZF]

I think that rule is Null and void...anyone Named Danielle is a Dirty Cum guzzling whore of a slut.

I mean...Yeah...

Lol

:lol: personal experience by any chance?

[JARVIS518]

Historically, chicks with an i on the end of their name are crazy. Usually hot, but crazy.

i agree my g/f first name and last name end in I trust shes crazy
oh ya and hot too

[Porkchop]

I think that rule is Null and void...anyone Named Danielle is a Dirty Cum guzzling whore of a slut.

I mean...Yeah...

Lol

I agree with the Danielle thing... 100%

I've know like 4 that were all...

[Antwanny]

I agree with the Danielle thing... 100%

I've know like 4 that were all...

Arent all women crazy in 1 form or another?
________
Hashish (http://trichomes.org/hashish/full-melt-hash)

[JoJoYZF]

Arent all women crazy in 1 form or another?

Yes, definitely

[Dragonpaco]

less talk, more responses

[Cutty72]

Historically, chicks with an i on the end of their name are crazy. Usually hot, but crazy.

I'm screwed... she's got 2!! Nikii!!!! :panic:

I think that rule is Null and void...anyone Named Danielle is a Dirty Cum guzzling whore of a slut.

I mean...Yeah...


I would agree with this statement.

[fasternyou929]

Arent all women crazy in 1 form or another?

There was a guy on cycleforums (citadel650, gotta give credit where due) that said there are only 2 types of women: crazy and pre-crazy. :lol:

[Antwanny]

There was a guy on cycleforums (citadel650, gotta give credit where due) that said there are only 2 types of women: crazy and pre-crazy. :lol:

I endorse that statement
________
Toyota probox (http://www.toyota-wiki.com/wiki/Toyota_Probox)

[OneSickPsycho]

Hi, just thought you might like to know that there's a great Christian based dating and friendship website you can join up to for free. I've had much better success with that than classifieds or other dating sites. Check it out at: www dot christianloveseek dot comGod Bless. James.

[the chi]

hi, just thought you might like to know that there's a great christian based dating and friendship website you can join up to for free. I've had much better success with that than classifieds or other dating sites. Check it out at: Www dot christianloveseek dot comgod bless. James.


bwahahahahahaha...awesome!

[Mr Lefty]

Hi, just thought you might like to know that there's a great Christian based dating and friendship website you can join up to for free. I've had much better success with that than classifieds or other dating sites. Check it out at: www dot christianloveseek dot comGod Bless. James.

you should copy and paste your ad to theat

[Quick281]

you should copy and paste your ad to theat

Exactly my thoughts.

[smileyman]

You do know there are alot of sexually repressed preachers daughters out there that are dying to eat you alive:idk: If you find one be sure and pass her on down!

[DLIT]

OSP- TWF Champion. Never boring.