It's going to be a long day [Archive]

LaFemmes

03-11-2008, 09:30 AM

:lol: What makes ya say that?

I woke up with a negative text message on my phone this morning, had some words with my man and was late getting to work. :hss:
Work is slow as hell, and my office worker is in a pissy mood.
I hate when day start off this way.

fpzx10

03-11-2008, 09:34 AM

I woke up with a negative text message on my phone this morning, had some words with my man and was late getting to work. :hss:
Work is slow as hell, and my office worker is in a pissy mood.
I hate when day start off this way.

That was my day yesterday. (except I was the pissy coworker) Good luck:dthumb:

neebelung

03-11-2008, 09:35 AM

:( Bah, sorry to hear that.... days like that make ya wanna just crawl back into bed and start over.

LaFemmes

03-11-2008, 09:39 AM

Anyone have a good joke for me?:whistle:

fpzx10

03-11-2008, 09:44 AM

Anyone have a good joke for me?:whistle:

Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven, talking to St. Peter.

"So," Peter asks the first guy, "how many times did you cheat on your wife?"
"None. I had a perfect marriage."
"Great," says Peter. "You get to cruise around heaven in a Mercedes. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?"
"Only twice, I think," says the second guy.
"Okay. You get to cruise around heaven in a Cadillac. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?"
"12 times. Maybe 13," says the third guy.
"Okay," says Peter. "You get a rusty Ford."
Later that day, the guy in the Cadillac sees the guy in the Mercedes crying.
"What's wrong?"
"I just saw my wife."
"So?" "She was riding a skateboard."

OTB

03-11-2008, 11:54 AM

A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Iraqi desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there.

The nervous sergeant said, "Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have 'urges'. That's why we have the camel."

The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay."

About a month later, the Captain starts having his own urges. Crazy with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent.

Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with the camel. When he's done, he asks the Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?"

"No, not really, sir...They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."

fpzx10

03-11-2008, 11:57 AM

:dvrofl::dvrofl:

lauralynne

03-11-2008, 12:17 PM

Who is your true friend??

This really works!!!!

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car
for an hour.

When you open the trunk, WHO is really happy to see
you?

fpzx10

03-11-2008, 12:17 PM

:dthumb:That's a great one

azoomm

03-11-2008, 12:28 PM

:lmao:

pickle.of.doom

03-11-2008, 12:44 PM

I posted this one on wos the other day.. read it in Superbike:

You are riding motorcycle on a nice sunny afternoon. Right behind you is a firetruck. Next to that is a Helicopter flying very low to the ground clipping along at the same speed. On your left is a pig that is as large as your motorcycle that is keeping up with you as well. How do you get out of this dangerous situation??

Get off the kiddie's merry go round you drunk bastard.

ZukLady

03-11-2008, 12:48 PM

Girl, i hear ya, im having an AWFUL day as well!!!
Thanks for the jokes, keep em coming!

jalaan1

03-11-2008, 12:52 PM

hey, the day can only get better.

keep yur head up.

vabarber2

03-11-2008, 02:49 PM

Good Luck!

fpzx10

03-11-2008, 02:57 PM

Girl, i hear ya, im having an AWFUL day as well!!!
Thanks for the jokes, keep em coming!

I had THAT day yesterday. Hang in there. Go visit the drama llama thread. It will make you laugh :chug:

Mrs. Colleen

03-11-2008, 04:54 PM

It's Tuesday...which automatically means it is going to be a long day. :td:

Tuesdays and Thursdays I have my largest, and most draining, group of kids. :willy:

I love my job and I love each one of those kids...but man are some day tiring! :willy:

azoomm

03-11-2008, 05:02 PM

http://glumbert.com/media/baddayoffice

LaFemmes

03-11-2008, 05:17 PM

http://glumbert.com/media/baddayoffice

Thats so me today!! Blah..
Thanks guys for the laughs, much appreciated.:rockwoot:

vabarber2

03-11-2008, 05:20 PM

I worked a desk from 7pm last night to 7 am this morning after waking up at noon yesterday and had to be up by noon today! So yeah I know the feeling my day sucks too!!!

Mule

03-11-2008, 05:24 PM

just go rub one out...that always takes the edge off for me....

vabarber2

03-11-2008, 05:25 PM

just go rub one out...that always takes the edge off for me....
I dont do that!

LaFemmes

03-11-2008, 05:27 PM

I worked a desk from 7pm last night to 7 am this morning after waking up at noon yesterday and had to be up by noon today! So yeah I know the feeling my day sucks too!!!

Tomorrow has got to be a better one, correct?
Say, "yes". :shrug:
I hope you have a better week.

vabarber2

03-11-2008, 05:29 PM

Tomorrow has got to be a better one, correct?
Say, "yes". :shrug:
I hope you have a better week.
Yes, wendsdays the middle of the week so you can fairly easily stay under the radar!! Hope its so great for you that it inspires you to post pics!! Support your troops!!

ceo012384

03-11-2008, 05:33 PM

I have a feeling today is going to be a long one!:skep:
I get that feeling almost every morning. :no:
just go rub one out...that always takes the edge off for me....
+1 on that. :flush:
I dont do that!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnd we have a liar.

vabarber2

03-11-2008, 05:37 PM

I get that feeling almost every morning. :no:

+1 on that. :flush:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnd we have a liar.
Seriously! Im 22 and have done it once or twice when I was 14-15 "experamenting" and once or twice in the year I've ben here! Its caled self control! Out of site out of mind!!! I dont see any decent looking females unless Im looking at pics on here so it doesnt even get brought up! And its nothing like the real thing!!

Mr Lefty

03-11-2008, 10:46 PM

Mule

03-11-2008, 10:48 PM

Seriously! Im 22 and have done it once or twice when I was 14-15 "experamenting" and once or twice in the year I've ben here! Its caled self control! Out of site out of mind!!! I dont see any decent looking females unless Im looking at pics on here so it doesnt even get brought up! And its nothing like the real thing!!

research has shown that men who are frequent masturbators through their 20's-30's have a reduced risk of prostate cancer....

you better get to whackin, bubba....anyways, what the hell do you have to fuck out there, besides camels and smelly broads in burkkas

NONE_too_SOFT

03-11-2008, 10:49 PM

hell look on the bright side.

You didnt lock you keys inside your car while it was running in 15 degree weather after a blizzard.

Mule

03-11-2008, 10:54 PM

hell look on the bright side.

You didnt lock you keys inside your car while it was running in 15 degree weather after a blizzard.

worse things coulda happened....you didn't lock yourself outta your house....

NONE_too_SOFT

03-11-2008, 11:07 PM

ya, thats the ultimate "oh shit" moment. youre locked out of the house AND car.

Mr Lefty

03-11-2008, 11:12 PM

ya, thats the ultimate "oh shit" moment. youre locked out of the house AND car.

I've only done that once... but I had an upstairs window I always keep cracked... just took a bit of Jackie Chan type moves and an hour to get in

NONE_too_SOFT

03-11-2008, 11:13 PM

i used to have to break into my home all the time.

cept it wasnt really my home.

and i was there to steal stuff.

Mr Lefty

03-11-2008, 11:17 PM

i used to have to break into my home all the time.

cept it wasnt really my home.

and i was there to steal stuff.

:lol:

LaFemmes

03-12-2008, 09:42 AM

Hope its so great for you that it inspires you to post pics!! Support your troops!!

I'll post some, where though?

lauralynne

03-12-2008, 11:50 AM

ya, thats the ultimate "oh shit" moment. youre locked out of the house AND car.

I SAW that the other day - dude ran out of the house - butt naked - to grab something out of his car...realized the car was locked and by the time he darted back to his house, THAT door was locked. someone must have been in the house because he started pounding on that door....I was cracking up, I haven't laughed THAT hard in a long long time!!

LaFemmes

03-12-2008, 12:50 PM

Damn it,
Today is as bad as yesterday was.
Is it friday yet?:chug:

dReWpY

03-12-2008, 01:10 PM

I'll post some, where though?

in the dark alley, post a link to what ever you want, you just cant post the image itself

fpzx10

03-12-2008, 01:12 PM

Damn it,
Today is as bad as yesterday was.
Is it friday yet?:chug:

Not yet. Hang in there :chug:

LaFemmes

03-12-2008, 01:13 PM

in the dark alley, post a link to what ever you want, you just cant post the image itself

I'll put one up in 5 min, you let me know if it works okay?

dReWpY

03-12-2008, 01:14 PM

k, will do

LaFemmes

03-12-2008, 01:18 PM

k, will do

Like this?

http://www.twowheelfix.com/showthread.php?p=15133#post15133

vabarber2

03-12-2008, 04:24 PM

yes maam!!

lauralynne

03-12-2008, 04:27 PM

password?

Mr Lefty

03-12-2008, 04:32 PM

password?

it's the name of the place... darkalley it's only there to keep the post from popping up for those who post at work

DLIT

03-12-2008, 09:39 PM

I'm still confused as to why you had to make a thread stating that "it's gonna be a long day".

t-homo

03-12-2008, 09:43 PM

it does turn into a long day when you start drinking at noon. can't wait to see what its like when I wake up at 8 and start tomorrow morning.

vabarber2

03-12-2008, 09:44 PM

I'm still confused as to why you had to make a thread stating that "it's gonna be a long day".
because they felt it was going to be a bad day!!! And we could always use an extra post!

DLIT

03-12-2008, 10:18 PM

it does turn into a long day when you start drinking at noon. can't wait to see what its like when I wake up at 8 and start tomorrow morning.

I think every post I've read for you, youmention you're drunk or drinking. You need to change your user title to "TWFix's drunkard".

because they felt it was going to be a bad day!!! And we could always use an extra post!

On this forum, that could be argued, with most people on your side. But use the fucking whore thread for shit like this.

NONE_too_SOFT

03-12-2008, 10:21 PM

I think every post I've read for you, youmention you're drunk or drinking. You need to change your user title to "TWFix's drunkard".

and we dont even get any decent threads out of it, like "i fucked a fat bitch"

DLIT

03-12-2008, 10:22 PM

and we dont even get any decent threads out of it, like "i fucked a fat bitch"

Hell yeah.

NONE_too_SOFT

03-12-2008, 10:23 PM

did you ever get to read that one?

DLIT

03-12-2008, 10:24 PM

did you ever get to read that one?

Uh oh...No, I did not.

NONE_too_SOFT

03-12-2008, 10:25 PM

yea well only about 3 or 4 people actually did. it got deleted and i got the red dots about ten seconds after it was posted . i was too fucking drunk to type it out so i made my roomate type it while i dictated.

Mr Lefty

03-12-2008, 10:27 PM

NONE_too_SOFT

03-12-2008, 10:29 PM

that was a once in a lifetime ordeal. for sure.

i had to get drunk just to convince myself it was a good idea to even go over to her house.

DLIT

03-12-2008, 10:29 PM

i was too fucking drunk to type it out so i made my roomate type it while i dictated.

Hahahahahaha. You got buddies typing your posts for you, hahahahahaha.

Mr Lefty

03-12-2008, 10:31 PM

that was a once in a lifetime ordeal. for sure.

i had to get drunk just to convince myself it was a good idea to even go over to her house.

I think I remember reading it or maybe it was jsut someone talking about it after... :idk:

oh well... we'll deal with I fucked a skiny chick thread :lol:

DLIT

03-12-2008, 10:32 PM

Ebbs, you should have some whack stories within the year you're here. I got a good one. Wanna hear it?

Mr Lefty

03-12-2008, 10:35 PM

Ebbs, you should have some whack stories within the year you're here. I got a good one. Wanna hear it?

sure.....

why do i have the feeling I'm walk'n into a trap?

NONE_too_SOFT

03-12-2008, 10:38 PM

*snap*

Mr Lefty

03-12-2008, 10:39 PM

*snap*

:hangman:

Mudpuppy

03-12-2008, 10:40 PM

I have a feeling today is going to be a long one!:skep:

this week and last week every day has been a long day.. all day 8-10 hour meetings every day..

DLIT

03-12-2008, 10:43 PM

Kinda long.

I get a call at work one day. It's this broad asking for somebody I work with. He wasn't around. I hang up. I get an e-mail from this broad five minutes later asking me if I'm from Haverhill, MA. I reply yeah. Turns out, we went to high school together. She graduated two years before me. To make this story shorter, we e-mail back and forth for a while, bullshitting. She suggests meeting her on the weekend and drinking. This is about the time I slip my buddy into the e-mail chain, because if I'm meeting this broad, I'm gonna have a friend with me. I did this intentionally, because it would take all of the pressure off of me in case she got interested in me and she tried to fuck. She looked decent in HS, but she looks like ass now. All fat and shit. My buddy's been smashing her out ever since, hahaha. I asked him what he did that one night after I met you. He said he went to Hunt's room and fucked her in the ass. I was fucking rolling.

Imagine if I did fuck her in HS. My buddy would be getting 10 year old sloppy seconds. He got a blow job for 1.5 hours the other night. His excuse? He was too drunk to nut. :lol:

NONE_too_SOFT

03-12-2008, 10:46 PM

one and a half hours? god damn. i dont have the patience for that.

Mr Lefty

03-12-2008, 10:47 PM

Kinda long.

I get a call at work one day. It's this broad asking for somebody I work with. He wasn't around. I hang up. I get an e-mail from this broad five minutes later asking me if I'm from Haverhill, MA. I reply yeah. Turns out, we went to high school together. She graduated two years before me. To make this story shorter, we e-mail back and forth for a while, bullshitting. She suggests meeting her on the weekend and drinking. This is about the time I slip my buddy into the e-mail chain, because if I'm meeting this broad, I'm gonna have a friend with me. I did this intentionally, because it would take all of the pressure off of me in case she got interested in me and she tried to fuck. She looked decent in HS, but she looks like ass now. All fat and shit. My buddy's been smashing her out ever since, hahaha. I asked him what he did that one night after I met you. He said he went to Hunt's room and fucked her in the ass. I was fucking rolling.

:lol:

Imagine if I did fuck her in HS. My buddy would be getting 10 year old sloppy seconds. He got a blow job for 1.5 hours the other night. His excuse? He was too drunk to nut. :lol:

speak'n of fuck'n in the ass... I've yet to see that bartender again... I've stopped in Jumies twice... and she wasn't there... I was pissed... but Jumies tits brightened my day a little :dthumb:

DLIT

03-12-2008, 10:49 PM

speak'n of fuck'n in the ass... I've yet to see that bartender again... I've stopped in Jumies twice... and she wasn't there... I was pissed... but Jumies tits brightened my day a little :dthumb:

Man, that sucks. I might go out Friday. Gonna have to investigate a little bit. I WANT ANSWERS!!! That broad was too fine. I would massage her feet every night until she fell asleep.

one and a half hours? god damn. i dont have the patience for that.

It was funny because he was telling me what girls he was thinking about when he was getting the job. One of 'em was a girl we work with. Which is even funnier because I punched the clown to her a couple days ago in the shower.

Mr Lefty

03-12-2008, 10:52 PM

Man, that sucks. I might go out Friday. Gonna have to investigate a little bit. I WANT ANSWERS!!! That broad was too fine. I would massage her feet every night until she fell asleep.

It was funny because he was telling me what girls he was thinking about when he was getting the job. One of 'em was a girl we work with. Which is even funnier because I punched the clown to her a couple days ago in the shower.

I've heard from our shirt and the OIC of Rediness that we'll be under GO1 Saturday maybe even friday night... COCKSUCKAMOTHERFUCKER!

DLIT

03-12-2008, 10:54 PM

I've heard from our shirt and the OIC of Rediness that we'll be under GO1 Saturday maybe even friday night... COCKSUCKAMOTHERFUCKER!

I know. That's why I said Friday. GO1 on Sunday, GO1A on Saturday, probably. That means you can drink, but only on base.