My cats must die [Archive]

SteveP

02-02-2009, 09:11 PM

So here I sit at Honolulu International waiting for 6 hours for the next available flight. Apparently my 2 cats can't handle the 29F weather in Atlanta during our 45 min layover so we missed our flightb:shotgun:

My 4 y/o son, wife and I are now waiting in the USO like some stranded refugees.

..and this day is just starting.:zowned:

101lifts2

02-02-2009, 09:51 PM

Did your cats call you up and tell you??

Cutty72

02-02-2009, 09:54 PM

Smittie61984

02-02-2009, 09:56 PM

I prefer tossing them at road signs. Gotta have the right hook throw to nail it right.

Best solution. Buy a dog that weighs atleast 30lbs. They never complain. Loose a leg? Big deal, life goes on in their eyes. Little dogs are the suck.

BobTheBiker

02-02-2009, 10:07 PM

Best solution. Buy a dog that weighs atleast 30lbs. They never complain. Loose a leg? Big deal, life goes on in their eyes. Little dogs are the suck.

Yessir, medium to large breed dogs are awesome. so much more involved with you than any cats.

I've got a wolf, and will NEVER have cats, they dont even make good squeeky toys for my wolf. they're wicked little annoying creatures from hell..

cats are a gift from satan.

Papa_Complex

02-03-2009, 08:05 AM

You really need to let AMJ ghost-write your cat rants for you.

Dave

02-03-2009, 09:19 AM

that's because they are cats. and being they are cats, they inherently suck, cause all cats suck. their sole purpose in life is to do everything in their power to make your life a living hell while attempting to look cute and cuddly.
My suggestion, throw them out at 30,000 ft without a chute, or even a kennel.

actually they would most likely survive that. cats have a very low terminal velocity

tommymac

02-03-2009, 09:22 AM

You really need to let AMJ ghost-write your cat rants for you.

Dont let him talk about snakes :lol:

Tom

rogue

02-03-2009, 09:43 AM

that's because they are cats. and being they are cats, they inherently suck, cause all cats suck. their sole purpose in life is to do everything in their power to make your life a living hell while attempting to look cute and cuddly.
My suggestion, throw them out at 30,000 ft without a chute, or even a kennel.

Plus mother-fucking-one!

My padawans kitteh (as they call him) is on the verge of becoming a new appetizer....Meat of Their Dead Cat :rant:

As a matter of fact, that little fucker's the reason I'm awake now after only a couple of hours of sleep. Meow my motherfucking ass....

tommymac

02-03-2009, 10:07 AM

Plus mother-fucking-one!

My padawans kitteh (as they call him) is on the verge of becoming a new appetizer....Meat of Their Dead Cat :rant:

As a matter of fact, that little fucker's the reason I'm awake now after only a couple of hours of sleep. Meow my motherfucking ass....

the kitteh :lol: thats what I call my guys. Prolly got it from lolcats.

Tom

Papa_Complex

02-03-2009, 10:12 AM

Dont let him talk about snakes :lol:

Tom

Since the advent of the shotgun, he hasn't had to talk about (or to) snakes anymore.

rogue

02-03-2009, 10:18 AM

the kitteh :lol: thats what I call my guys. Prolly got it from lolcats.

Tom

I'm sure she did since she filled my crashed computer full of lolcats kitteh porn. :lol:

That little asshole wakes me up constantly in the middle of my sleep time. Always laying on my head and he meows and purrs LOUD! He reaches my shoulder with his paws and digs into it. :panic: He's damn lucky all I've done is cuss him and push him on the floor, when I really want to watch him bounce off the wall. I can't stand being messed with when I'm trying to sleep.

In the meantime when I complain to Mini-Me, she sends me little messages online to "luv teh kitteh!" Next time she goes to her dad's she can take the little shit with her.

Now that I'm up I'm trying to stay awake so I can get some stuff done a little early and hopefully be able to get some sort of sleep before work tonight.

tommymac

02-03-2009, 10:22 AM

I'm sure she did since she filled my crashed computer full of lolcats kitteh porn. :lol:

That little asshole wakes me up constantly in the middle of my sleep time. Always laying on my head and he meows and purrs LOUD! He reaches my shoulder with his paws and digs into it. :panic: He's damn lucky all I've done is cuss him and push him on the floor, when I really want to watch him bounce off the wall. I can't stand being messed with when I'm trying to sleep.

In the meantime when I complain to Mini-Me, she sends me little messages online to "luv teh kitteh!" Next time she goes to her dad's she can take the little shit with her.

Now that I'm up I'm trying to stay awake so I can get some stuff done a little early and hopefully be able to get some sort of sleep before work tonight.

I love the stuff on LOLcats som eprety funny stuff. nermal does that with me sometimes. You feel a thud on the bed then litlte footsteps towards your head. then a few seconds later he will bat your head or shoulder, if yo uignore him he pulls the claws out just a bit to get your attention. Then you roll over and he sees that you know hes there and he flops over so you can rub his belly. When I get up for work they have to be fed first otherwise they wont let me do anything else :lol:

Tom

Smittie61984

02-03-2009, 10:42 AM

Yessir, medium to large breed dogs are awesome. so much more involved with you than any cats.

Hellz yeah. I'd like to see someone take their cat on a 10mile mountain bike ride in the middle of January.
http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/26/l_91597b06d08a4981863f26c6f104ab90.jpg
http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/42/l_771c769ce7c14ac0be1be47fd6a48f22.jpg

Only cool cats to own are predator cats that are illegal to own. Lions, Tigers, Cheetahs, Lynx, coungers, bobcats etc would be cool to own.

Now if there was a 2 year lease programs on cats that'd be cool. After two years cats become lazy do nothings who sleep and eat all day. Basically they become Democrats.

Ninjakel

02-03-2009, 10:46 AM

smittie, is that a border collie???

Gas Man

02-03-2009, 12:03 PM

I'm so confused... what did the cats possibly do to keep you from flight?

Cutty72

02-03-2009, 12:17 PM

actually they would most likely survive that. cats have a very low terminal velocity

I think we need to try it.

Plus mother-fucking-one!

My padawans kitteh (as they call him) is on the verge of becoming a new appetizer....Meat of Their Dead Cat :rant:

As a matter of fact, that little fucker's the reason I'm awake now after only a couple of hours of sleep. Meow my motherfucking ass....

I've found throwing cats in snowbanks is a good way to shut them up for awhile.

Particle Man

02-03-2009, 12:34 PM

my cat prefers it outdoors and I'm fine with that.

askmrjesus

02-03-2009, 12:47 PM

that's because they are cats. and being they are cats, they inherently suck, cause all cats suck. their sole purpose in life is to do everything in their power to make your life a living hell while attempting to look cute and cuddly.

This attitude is often adopted by people who are not as smart as cats, which, considering the size of a cat's head, is saying something.

Of course, if you are the kind of person that is fascinated by repeatedly throwing sticks and rubber balls for the sole purpose of having them returned to you covered in dog slobber, it's understandable that you are not as smart as a cat.

JC

MissHell

02-03-2009, 01:09 PM

I'm so confused... what did the cats possibly do to keep you from flight?

If your pets are not flying in the cabin, the airlines will only fly your pets at a certain temperature. I believe it's cause the area they fly in on the plane is not regulated by air/heat, so they must be able to handle the current temp outside.

If the temp's aren't in the range, you (your pet) just sit on stand-by.

Dave

02-03-2009, 01:12 PM

I'm sure she did since she filled my crashed computer full of lolcats kitteh porn. :lol:

That little asshole wakes me up constantly in the middle of my sleep time. Always laying on my head and he meows and purrs LOUD! He reaches my shoulder with his paws and digs into it. :panic: He's damn lucky all I've done is cuss him and push him on the floor, when I really want to watch him bounce off the wall. I can't stand being messed with when I'm trying to sleep.

In the meantime when I complain to Mini-Me, she sends me little messages online to "luv teh kitteh!" Next time she goes to her dad's she can take the little shit with her.

Now that I'm up I'm trying to stay awake so I can get some stuff done a little early and hopefully be able to get some sort of sleep before work tonight.

you gotta establish dominance. Roll him on his back and stare him down, lightly pop him on the nose, gently sit on him and or bite him. Im not advocating hurting the cat, just using derivatives of natural cat social behaviours to get the point across.

njchopper87

02-03-2009, 02:36 PM

I love cats. I used to own one. I think all their habits are funny, the only thing that annoyed me was when I shut my door to go to sleep she would sit out there and meow until I let her in. My sister always caved before I did though, so even that was tollerable. She was an outdoorsy type too.. always used to hunt with the neighborhood cats.

Angee

02-03-2009, 02:52 PM

Cats are good...

Taste like chicken! :lol:

I have a demon-cat...don't give her a treat within an hour of getting home and her head starts spinning and spewing peas...:lol

Smittie61984

02-03-2009, 02:53 PM

smittie, is that a border collie???

Yep. The Border Collie is the most perfect dog ever created. I take him wherever I can. I'll have him kayaking this spring.

Smittie61984

02-03-2009, 02:55 PM

This attitude is often adopted by people who are not as smart as cats, which, considering the size of a cat's head, is saying something.

You must hate gerbils.

tommymac

02-03-2009, 02:57 PM

You must hate gerbils.

Esp when they get stuck in his butt :lol: :whistle:

Tom

Particle Man

02-03-2009, 03:17 PM

This attitude is often adopted by people who are not as smart as cats, which, considering the size of a cat's head, is saying something.

Of course, if you are the kind of person that is fascinated by repeatedly throwing sticks and rubber balls for the sole purpose of having them returned to you covered in dog slobber, it's understandable that you are not as smart as a cat.

JC
:lol:

askmrjesus

02-03-2009, 04:12 PM

Esp when they get stuck in his butt :lol: :whistle:

Tom

Watch it snake boy.

You might get a "used" gerbil in your beer... :stirpot:

JC

fatbuckRTO

02-03-2009, 04:22 PM

BobTheBiker

02-03-2009, 04:26 PM

you gotta establish dominance. Roll him on his back and stare him down, lightly pop him on the nose, gently sit on him and or bite him. Im not advocating hurting the cat, just using derivatives of natural cat social behaviours to get the point across.

Yup. works the same with dogs, and wolves. I use similar techniques to assert my dominance over mine. he knows he's not in charge, unfortunately my mom doesnt understand the concept of asserting her dominance over him, so he doesnt respect her position in the household. he KNOWS that if I say no, it means NO.

Dave

02-03-2009, 05:09 PM

the wolves have to be interesting, i know they can be skittish at times. planning to get a puppy probably sometime around next winter (hopefully) I gotta do some more reading on pack heirarchies and behaviors first though

Cutty72

02-03-2009, 05:15 PM

Cats have a purpose... that purpose is to run outside and catch mice.
If cat's don't serve this purpose, they are worthless, and therefore must die.

Smittie61984

02-03-2009, 09:41 PM

...

Damn. You made me think of a show I watched on TV. It was all about a Cat show. A fucking cat show. You think people who put their dogs in Dog shows are crazy. That brought out the craziest of the crazies. I can't think of another convention that would bring out crazier people. No Star Wars, Dungeons and Dragons, Trek, or yarn convention could bring out crazier people than the Cat convention I saw.