Win a free prize! The AMJ challenge: Part 1

[askmrjesus]

Ok, here's the deal:

On April 1st, I'll be launching my new website, www.askmrjesus.com (don't bother clicking on it, it's not there yet).

In the mean time, I have developed a comprehensive set of user challenges, to be used as content on the site, that requires little or no effort on my part. This is the first of 999 challenges to come.

This is where you come in. The TWF community gets dibs on being the first to contribute to my site.

To complete this challenge, you will need the following items;

A. A cat.

B. A cabbage, (red or green).

C. A video camera.

The first TWF member to post a video on youtube, that portrays a slowly rolled cabbage bumping into a sleeping cat, will be awarded a hand signed by Jesus himself t-shirt that reads, " I rolled a cabbage into a sleeping cat for Jesus", plus- cat sleep intervention by means of produce bragging rights.

The rules:

You must use an actual cat.

You must use an actual cabbage. Kale is acceptable, but lettuce, pomegranates, canteloupes, apples and the like, are grounds for immediate disqualification, as are all citrus fruits. Leeks may be considered, but how you would roll a Leek into a sleeping cat is beyond even me.

Judging:

Videos will be graded on lighting, direction, cat response, the lack of Metallica songs for background music, (I hate Metallica, so don't even try) and how many times the phrase, "Shhhhhh, Dude, don't wake him up" are used during filming.

Good luck.

JC

[JARVIS518]

shit i need a cat, a cabbage and a camera to get a free shirt

[rogue]

I don't have a video camera. :idk:

[OneSickPsycho]

Gay...

... now where's my video camera.

[askmrjesus]

I don't have a video camera. :idk:

Hand drawn depictions of cat/cabbage interaction will also be considered.

It's only fair.

JC

[MILK]

So who's hand is it you're signing? Won't they mind giving it up?

[askmrjesus]

So who's hand is it you're signing? Won't they mind giving it up?

Don't worry about it.

I'll make it grow back.

JC

[Angee]

:rofl:

[G-Rex]

Carolina has two cats. One likes me, the other one doesn't like anybody.

I wonder if she's mind terribly if I tormented one or both of them briefly. I've done much less for film! :whistle:

[Archren]

Carolina has two cats. One likes me, the other one doesn't like anybody.

I wonder if she's mind terribly if I tormented one or both of them briefly. I've done much less for film! :whistle:

I'll let you use my cats if you bring the cabbage and I get a shirt too. :lol:

[G-Rex]

I'll let you use my cats if you bring the cabbage and I get a shirt too. :lol:

Cabbage? I knew you were kinky, but wow. That's a whole new level.

As for the shirt, AMJ will have to say if he would give us two. If not, I'll let you wear it. ;)

[askmrjesus]

Carolina has two cats. One likes me, the other one doesn't like anybody.

I wonder if she's mind terribly if I tormented one or both of them briefly. I've done much less for film! :whistle:

Bonus points if you roll a cabbage into Carolina, and her cats.

Study up. How would Fellini or Fassbender have done it? Bergman, a black and white chronicle on the lonliness of the cabbage, and the cat's need for expression in a post modern society.

You could go Kubrick- 2009 A Cat Cabbage Odyessy, or even Hitchcock- 39 Cabbages. The possibilities are endless, don't let petty issues like "permission" stand in the way of cinematic greatness.

JC

[Cutty72]

I'm in when we start the "shooting a cat out of a cannon" challenge.

:leaving:

[askmrjesus]

I'll let you use my cats if you bring the cabbage and I get a shirt too. :lol:

Would you settle for a thong that said:

I rolled my fiances
cabbage into a cat
for Jesus?

JC

[Archren]

Would you settle for a thong that said:

I rolled my fiances
cabbage into a cat
for Jesus?

JC

snort You have yourself a deal. :lol:

[Angee]

My cat wouldn't even jump...she's downstairs now staking out the bar. Apparently, we have a field mouse in the house. Guess I'll be picking up a carcass in the morning...


Gotta love living in a hundred+ year old house in BFE...:lol:

[askmrjesus]

My cat wouldn't even jump...she's downstairs now staking out the bar. Apparently, we have a field mouse in the house.

Fear not.

The key to establishing cat high jump records, is to sneak up on them while they are busy with other pursuits.

As a rule, the more they are concentrated on other things, the higher they will jump when attacked by slow moving cabbages.

JC

[fatbuckRTO]

Can said rolling be mechanically or electrically assisted? If the cat is electrocuted (by total accident, of course), do I still get a t-shirt?

Can I strap a cabbage to a dog and film the carnage?

[askmrjesus]

Can said rolling be mechanically or electrically assisted?

Yes, but this is restricted to "Special Needs" competitors, who are unable to roll a cabbage on their own.

If the cat is electrocuted (by total accident, of course), do I still get a t-shirt?

No, and you don't get a thong either, so don't ask.

Can I strap a cabbage to a dog and film the carnage?

Ordinarily I encourage the use of strap-ons, but in this case I'm going to have to say, um, no. Not just no, mind you, but, um no.

JC

[Amber Lamps]

couldn't you have just posted this in the Fla section?:whistle:

[askmrjesus]

couldn't you have just posted this is the Fla section?:whistle:

I could have posted that this is the Fla section, but people would probably be confused by such a statement.

JC

[fatbuckRTO]

No, and you don't get a thong either, so don't ask.
I never get a t-shirt.

[Particle Man]

my cat currently smells like skunk so she's restricted to the mud room until it gets above zero outside and I can give her a bath.

No T-shirt for me :lol:

[OneSickPsycho]

Would you settle for a thong that said:

I rolled my fiances
cabbage into a cat
for Jesus?

JC

Make it run vertically... front to back...

[askmrjesus]

Make it run vertically... front to back...

Good idea, but I'm going to need a smaller font...

JC

[OneSickPsycho]

Good idea, but I'm going to need a smaller font...

JC

Or bitches with wider vaginas.

[askmrjesus]

I think I'll stick with the smaller font idea.

JC

[OneSickPsycho]

I think I'll stick with the smaller font idea.

JC

Fatter vaginas then? Fat pussies fuckin' rule.