Warning all NYC tourists

[pauldun170]

If you are snooty when asking for directions you will be provided with the wrong directions.

[Lucky3623]

If you are snooty when asking for directions you will be provided with the wrong directions.

if you ride the subway, wear your iPod... otherwise you are get people looking at you like you are a douchebag...

[azoomm]

:rofl:

In Chi used to pick out nOObies on the train and just stare at them... kind of like getting on an elevator straight in and not turning around to face the door. It makes people really uncomfortable.

[G-Rex]

If you are snooty when asking for directions you will be provided with the wrong directions.

Yeah, because the locals aren't snooty at all. :idk:

[azoomm]

Yeah, because the locals aren't snooty at all. :idk:

No, the locals are assholes - there's a difference :wink:

[pauldun170]

No, the locals are assholes - there's a difference :wink:

Only to fricken Texans.

Any asshole who comes here thinking we give a shit about there hat as they stand in the middle of the sidewalk staring at commuters as if they were aliens while spending half an hour asking how to get Time Square (you're in Time Square asshole....if you didn't have that stupid hat you'd notice the fucking lights) gets treated poorly.

AND I've been called an asshole by taller women than you...

[azoomm]

but, it's a compliment

:lol:

[Lucky3623]

Only to fricken Texans.

Any asshole who comes here thinking we give a shit about there hat as they stand in the middle of the sidewalk staring at commuters as if they were aliens while spending half an hour asking how to get Time Square (you're in Time Square asshole....if you didn't have that stupid hat you'd notice the fucking lights) gets treated poorly.

AND I've been called an asshole by taller women than you...



You don't like my trucker hat (I love breaking TX stereotypes)?

[pauldun170]

Yeah, because the locals aren't snooty at all. :idk:

Normally I would take that from the likes of you....but since the only reference I have is the guy with the plucked eyebrows and rosy cheeks who is engaged to Carolina...I'm going to let it go.

You remind me of one the little porcelain cherub statues my grandmother used to keep in the living room. She used to always bring me Hess Trucks..

since I associate you with Hess Trucks...I'm going to let your comment go.

Once you and Carolina are married, all bets are off.

[Method]

if you ride the subway, wear your iPod... otherwise you are get people looking at you like you are a douchebag...
A few other tips for the NYC tourists:

Also be sure to walk slowly and erraticaly in a line in order to block the entire sidewalk during rush hour.

Don't forget to take 15 minutes to place an order for anything while an increasingly angry line stacks up behind you, exponentially increasing your chances for an asskicking.

The only way to hail a cab is standing at the back of the sidewalk as close to the building as possible. It's even more effective trying to hail a cab while you're standing 50ft back on the street, and the cab is driving up/down the avenue.

Completely block the escalators instead of standing to one side so the non-fatasses can walk up them.

Talk loudly on your cellphone while riding the train (LIRR/MTA/NJTransit)

Ask me for directions to 5th avenue while we're standing on the corner of 5th and 50th.

Get drunk as hell and randomly puke on the hood of my cab while stopped at a light in soho (that cabbie was pissed haha)

Have zero ability to understand how the subway turnstiles work.

..

Holy crap I have a lot more. Where did all this angst come from. lol

[fasternyou929]

Holy crap I have a lot more. Where did all this angst come from. lol

I commented on CF already, but congrats on getting married! :whistle: :lol:

[pauldun170]

A few other tips for the NYC tourists:

Also be sure to walk slowly and erraticaly in a line in order to block the entire sidewalk during rush hour.

Don't forget to take 15 minutes to place an order for anything while an increasingly angry line stacks up behind you, exponentially increasing your chances for an asskicking.

The only way to hail a cab is standing at the back of the sidewalk as close to the building as possible. It's even more effective trying to hail a cab while you're standing 50ft back on the street, and the cab is driving up/down the avenue.

Completely block the escalators instead of standing to one side so the non-fatasses can walk up them.

Talk loudly on your cellphone while riding the train (LIRR/MTA/NJTransit)

Ask me for directions to 5th avenue while we're standing on the corner of 5th and 50th.

Get drunk as hell and randomly puke on the hood of my cab while stopped at a light in soho (that cabbie was pissed haha)

Have zero ability to understand how the subway turnstiles work.

..

Holy crap I have a lot more. Where did all this angst come from. lol

Walking smack dab against the flow of pedestrian traffic then making nasty comments and faces.

[Archren]

Normally I would take that from the likes of you....but since the only reference I have is the guy with the plucked eyebrows and rosy cheeks who is engaged to Carolina...I'm going to let it go.

You remind me of one the little porcelain cherub statues my grandmother used to keep in the living room. She used to always bring me Hess Trucks..

since I associate you with Hess Trucks...I'm going to let your comment go.

Once you and Carolina are married, all bets are off.

You do realize.. fuck with Tracy.. and you have to answer to me, bubba. :sniper: :jacked:










:nee:

[Tmall]

Yeah, because the locals aren't snooty at all. :idk:

That may be.. But, they know the directions. :whistle:

[Archren]

That may be.. But, they know the directions. :whistle:

Yeah, and I know the directions around Austin, but I'm not going to act like a jackass when someone asks for directions. Just sayin'... :D

[pauldun170]

You do realize.. fuck with Tracy.. and you have to answer to me, bubba. :sniper: :jacked:










:nee:

Tracy and Carolina...

Sorry...but I still feel that you sound like an old lesbian couple.
and now that you put up the little sniper rifle smily...I'm thinking that "Tracy and Carolina" is the script for the sequel to Thelma and Louise.

[pauldun170]

Yeah, and I know the directions around Austin, but I'm not going to act like a jackass when someone asks for directions. Just sayin'... :D

The key is not to act like a jackass WHEN ASKING FOR directions.

[Archren]

Tracy and Carolina...

Sorry...but I still feel that you sound like an old lesbian couple.
and now that you put up the little sniper rifle smily...I'm thinking that "Tracy and Carolina" is the script for the sequel to Thelma and Louise.

Nah, Tracy's buddies already took the sequel to that..

[Archren]

The key is not to act like a jackass WHEN ASKING FOR directions.

Truth. Although I've heard stories of dem thar Yanks giving wrong directions just because.. well, because. :lol:

[Method]

Truth. Although I've heard stories of dem thar Yanks giving wrong directions just because.. well, because. :lol:


Just cuz it makes things a little more interested :D

[cbrchick]

I've only ever driven through New York as a kid with my family. Not fun driving a Texas plated suburban with a trailer over the GW bridge at rush hour.

My brother had a wicked time in New York. Said everyone was super polite. He has pics of him with Wy Clef (spelling) and Run of Run DMC...

I love it when peeps from down South, USA, come up here... Some are with it, many are not. You can always tell the ladies from the Southern States. I think they are the only ones that still wear hand painted shirts with rhinestones on them....

[G-Rex]

I love it when peeps from down South, USA, come up here... Some are with it, many are not. You can always tell the ladies from the Southern States. I think they are the only ones that still wear hand painted shirts with rhinestones on them....

Or just wait for them to speak. :whistle: :lol:

[Homeslice]

I love it when peeps from down South, USA, come up here... Some are with it, many are not. You can always tell the ladies from the Southern States. I think they are the only ones that still wear hand painted shirts with rhinestones on them....

At least they don't wear Ugg sheepskin boots, like nearly every Cali girl

[Archren]

Or just wait for them to speak. :whistle: :lol:

Yeah, you'd know all about that wouldn't you. :lol:

[cbrchick]

At least they don't wear Ugg sheepskin boots, like nearly every Cali girl

Peeps wear those here too... Except only in the winter. Even then I dont see the draw. There's no traction to the soles and they get destroyed with the salt and slush. They're kinda an inside slipper here :)

[Homeslice]

Peeps wear those here too... Except only in the winter. Even then I dont see the draw. There's no traction to the soles and they get destroyed with the salt and slush. They're kinda an inside slipper here :)

Here they're an "oh look at me in my cute denim jacket and boots, I'm in Orange County but I'm really a country girl at heart"

[cbrchick]

Here they're an "oh look at me in my cute denim jacket and boots, I'm in Orange County but I'm really a country girl at heart"

Every year I think, "Man, I'd gonna buy some of these". Then I try them on and they look like I've got my foot shoved inside a stuffed animals ass. They are massive and look so odd. I guess I am just getting old.

[thunderex]

Walking smack dab against the flow of pedestrian traffic then making nasty comments and faces.
When I lived there I worked caddy-corner to Radio City Music Hall. The sheer volume of Adidas sneakered, wire rim glasses wearing, buzz cut having, huge backpack with belt strap buckled Germans wandering around on the street was enough to make you insane.

[njchopper87]

I like this thread. :lol: Reminds me when the girl that does my haircuts visited Jersey for a week. She came back complaining how everyone looked that they wanted to kill her, was amazed that the highways (and every other street) have lights, and generally disliked Jeresy drivers. I just stood there and laughed at everything she had to say. Tourists..

['73 H1 Triple]

Every year I think, "Man, I'd gonna buy some of these". Then I try them on and they look like I've got my foot shoved inside a stuffed animals ass. They are massive and look so odd. I guess I am just getting old.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/JRD77VET/funnies/bunny_slipper.jpg



:whistle:


Jeff

[Smittie61984]

Here in Atlanta tourists don't need help getting confused.

"Yeah. First thing you want to do is get on West Peachtree st and then take that to Peachtree st. Once you get on Peachtree rd you want to head north until you get to Peachtree Industrial blvd. Take that to Peachtree circles and you'll ride that until you get to Old Peachtree rd. After Peachtree pines you want to take right. If you hit MLK then you want to FUCKING GET THE MOTHER FUCKING FUCK THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!!! and then take a right on Peachtree place and you would have made it to the Peachtree tavern".

[Smittie61984]

Peeps wear those here too... Except only in the winter. Even then I dont see the draw. There's no traction to the soles and they get destroyed with the salt and slush. They're kinda an inside slipper here :)

I see those everywhere in school. Mainly among the black girls too.

What's weird is these Wilderness Chic fads apparently aren't even close to popular up north. Buddy of mine and I always laugh about The North Face and it's popularity here in Georgia. Last week he got sent on a business trip to Minneapolis right when that huge storm hit. Said he didn't see any The North Face at all. And went to Walmart to buy some $30 coat that worked awesome.

[pauldun170]

Here in Atlanta tourists don't need help getting confused.

"Yeah. First thing you want to do is get on West Peachtree st and then take that to Peachtree st. Once you get on Peachtree rd you want to head north until you get to Peachtree Industrial blvd. Take that to Peachtree circles and you'll ride that until you get to Old Peachtree rd. After Peachtree pines you want to take right. If you hit MLK then you want to FUCKING GET THE MOTHER FUCKING FUCK THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!!! and then take a right on Peachtree place and you would have made it to the Peachtree tavern".

:lol:

[unknownroad]

Here in Atlanta tourists don't need help getting confused.

"Yeah. First thing you want to do is get on West Peachtree st and then take that to Peachtree st. Once you get on Peachtree rd you want to head north until you get to Peachtree Industrial blvd. Take that to Peachtree circles and you'll ride that until you get to Old Peachtree rd. After Peachtree pines you want to take right. If you hit MLK then you want to FUCKING GET THE MOTHER FUCKING FUCK THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!!! and then take a right on Peachtree place and you would have made it to the Peachtree tavern".

No shit! And then once you leave downtown, you get on GA 17N/30E/26E/5N for half a mile, then turn on to GA 30E/15N/24W/9N... I've never seen such a screwed up road system.

[101lifts2]

Why anyone would want to live in NY/NJ cities is beyond me. I've been there 4 or 5 times and each time its the same shit...5 foot 6 inch 120lb soakin wet all mouth punks that think they can box. On top of it, the weather sucks and there are hardly any chicks.

[Method]

Why anyone would want to live in NY/NJ cities is beyond me. I've been there 4 or 5 times and each time its the same shit...5 foot 6 inch 120lb soakin wet all mouth punks that think they can box. On top of it, the weather sucks and there are hardly any chicks.
That's one of the exact reasons why I don't mind being 6'2 210lbs and 13% up here. ;)

[Smittie61984]

No shit! And then once you leave downtown, you get on GA 17N/30E/26E/5N for half a mile, then turn on to GA 30E/15N/24W/9N... I've never seen such a screwed up road system.

Which is why if America ever gets invaded, head to Atlanta. They'd get lost as fuck on our roads. Infact there are 71 roads in Atlanta that have Peachtree in the name. And our streets do not go off a grid pattern. If not for traffic and crater sized potholes (Or metal plates every 100ft) you could drag knee through downtown Atlanta

[Homeslice]

I see those everywhere in school. Mainly among the black girls too.

What's weird is these Wilderness Chic fads apparently aren't even close to popular up north. Buddy of mine and I always laugh about The North Face and it's popularity here in Georgia. Last week he got sent on a business trip to Minneapolis right when that huge storm hit. Said he didn't see any The North Face at all. And went to Walmart to buy some $30 coat that worked awesome.

Well in all fairness, most North Face stuff is meant for athletic pursuits like climbing. Not standing around waiting for the bus in 20 below zero weather.

[Homeslice]

Which is why if America ever gets invaded, head to Atlanta. They'd get lost as fuck on our roads. Infact there are 71 roads in Atlanta that have Peachtree in the name. And our streets do not go off a grid pattern. If not for traffic and crater sized potholes (Or metal plates every 100ft) you could drag knee through downtown Atlanta
Fucked up thing about Atlanta is the actual downtown is dead, not worth visiting. And forget about that underground mall, it's boring unless you want to buy beads or stupid tourist crap. The real city life is a few miles away from downtown in Buckhead and other places.

Also, can't they design some straight roads for once? It's like everything is laid out in a cobweb pattern. Takes more time. Matter of fact most Southern cities are like that. They need to take a lesson from places like Chicago where everything is laid out in a grid pattern.

[pauldun170]

Why anyone would want to live in NY/NJ cities is beyond me. I've been there 4 or 5 times and each time its the same shit...5 foot 6 inch 120lb soakin wet all mouth punks that think they can box. On top of it, the weather sucks and there are hardly any chicks.

If by "trannies" then no....not to many of em around here. Perhaps you should try craigslist in your area.

If you mean "hot women" then you weren't looking. They are all over the place.

[Dova80]

If by "trannies" then no....not to many of em around here. Perhaps you should try craigslist in your area.

If you mean "hot women" then you weren't looking. They are all over the place.

The few times I have been in NY yes there were hot women everywhere...

[Smittie61984]

Fucked up thing about Atlanta is the actual downtown is dead, not worth visiting. And forget about that underground mall, it's boring unless you want to buy beads or stupid tourist crap. The real city life is a few miles away from downtown in Buckhead and other places.

Also, can't they design some straight roads for once? It's like everything is laid out in a cobweb pattern. Takes more time. Matter of fact most Southern cities are like that. They need to take a lesson from places like Chicago where everything is laid out in a grid pattern.

I think one of the main things is that Atlanta just kind of grew. Places like Chicago, New York, and even DC seemed to have their city laid out for them. Which is why they have grid patterns. Plus we were built to follow the railway systems. Another thing is we don't really have highrise apartments like New York City and Chicago. We are getting some now but even close to downtown people lived in houses. Which is why Atlanta has been refered to as the City of Trees.

You are right about Downtown Atlanta sucking. But you can thank our stupid ass city government who felt that the Subway trains should go to the shittiest place in town and bring it to the nicest place in town. Making it impossible to get downtown and when you do the fucking bums are hopping off Marta and asking for money as you head to a Play or something.

Right now there are rumors that the owner of the Atlanta Falcons is going to build a new stadium outside of the city of Atlanta and take them out of the Georgia Dome. Which he is the founder of Home Depot so he and Atlanta have gone back and forth non-stop. City of Atlanta hates his guts and he hates theirs.

Buckhead was a shithole and now it's becoming nice again.

[Tsunami]

I'm nice to the tourists, i'm mean to the dumb locals that should know better and shove them out of the way, like the ones that get on the train and dont' move towards the middle and just stand there and block everyone else from going in during rush hour.

and the dumbasses that are walking slower than everyone else and stay in the middle of the sidewalk, i body check them.

I have anger issues from dealing with stupid people in NY, not they there aren't here in Vegas, but with the population in NY, you can't get away from them.

And Tracy, i don't know what you are talking about when you are saying us NY-ers are snotty! IIRC you get a grand ole time with me when we went on a 2 day eating excusion redflip

[racedoll]

I'm nice to the tourists, i'm mean to the dumb locals that should know better and shove them out of the way, like the ones that get on the train and dont' move towards the middle and just stand there and block everyone else from going in during rush hour.

Remember the bus ride to your apt with those two young girls acting stupid. I just remember you telling us they were foolish to act the way they were.

I don't think NYC people are snotty, but the only one I know is Tsunami and she is one of the sweetest people I know!

[Tsunami]

Remember the bus ride to your apt with those two young girls acting stupid. I just remember you telling us they were foolish to act the way they were.

I don't think NYC people are snotty, but the only one I know is Tsunami and she is one of the sweetest people I know!


Awww thanks! I had to save my soul by moving out of NYC!

I remember those girls, they were young, loud and dumb and giving me a headache. I was trying to be on my best behavior and not scare you and Erik! :lol:

[Particle Man]

Completely block the escalators instead of standing to one side so the non-fatasses can walk up them.


good fucking GOD this one pisses me off. Get the hell out of the way so I can use the moving stairs to get from point A to point B FASTER

I hate it when people decide to plant their fat asses on the escalator

[Archren]

good fucking GOD this one pisses me off. Get the hell out of the way so I can use the moving stairs to get from point A to point B FASTER

I hate it when people decide to plant their fat asses on the escalator

I think that problem is pretty pandemic.. we have those here in Texas too. :panic:

[Papa_Complex]

A few other tips for the NYC tourists:

Also be sure to walk slowly and erraticaly in a line in order to block the entire sidewalk during rush hour.

Don't forget to take 15 minutes to place an order for anything while an increasingly angry line stacks up behind you, exponentially increasing your chances for an asskicking.

The only way to hail a cab is standing at the back of the sidewalk as close to the building as possible. It's even more effective trying to hail a cab while you're standing 50ft back on the street, and the cab is driving up/down the avenue.

Completely block the escalators instead of standing to one side so the non-fatasses can walk up them.

Talk loudly on your cellphone while riding the train (LIRR/MTA/NJTransit)

Ask me for directions to 5th avenue while we're standing on the corner of 5th and 50th.

Get drunk as hell and randomly puke on the hood of my cab while stopped at a light in soho (that cabbie was pissed haha)

Have zero ability to understand how the subway turnstiles work.

..

Holy crap I have a lot more. Where did all this angst come from. lol

For some reason after reading every one of those lines, the words "road kill" echoed in my head.

[njchopper87]

good fucking GOD this one pisses me off. Get the hell out of the way so I can use the moving stairs to get from point A to point B FASTER

I hate it when people decide to plant their fat asses on the escalator

Not a good idea to block the moving stairs or ramps AT ALL. Newark airport has got to be the worse place to do this and I used to see it all the time. Easy way around this is to just plow right through everyone though. Maybe falling on their asses will teach em a thing or two.

[Method]

Not a good idea to block the moving stairs or ramps AT ALL. Newark airport has got to be the worse place to do this and I used to see it all the time. Easy way around this is to just plow right through everyone though. Maybe falling on their asses will teach em a thing or two.
lol - Not likely to teach em' anything. I've tried.

[Homeslice]

Why not just say excuse me as you're walking up? Some people like to use the escalator to rest for a bit. Not everyone is in a hurry.

[Tsunami]

Why not just say excuse me as you're walking up? Some people like to use the escalator to rest for a bit. Not everyone is in a hurry.

They can rest, but stand off to the side and not in the middle of the step. And seriously you have to say excuse me like 3x before they realize you are talking to them so its just easier to shove them out of the way. Unless they are old, i'm really nice to old people.

[Particle Man]

Why not just say excuse me as you're walking up? Some people like to use the escalator to rest for a bit. Not everyone is in a hurry.
that's fine, but they often feel the need to spread out and grow roots so you can't get around them.