Dammit, Jesus

[azoomm]

Your door knockers are making the 'rounds today...

I found a new way to deal with them. Just quickly opened the door and hugged one of them and they left :lol:

[Particle Man]

Your door knockers are making the 'rounds today...

I found a new way to deal with them. Just quickly opened the door and hugged one of them and they left :lol:

please tell me you got video of this :lol:

[Trip]

get you one of those BDSM leather masks with the zip up mouth.

[askmrjesus]

WTF? Their supposed to be in Idaho today.

Goddamn Seventh Day Adventists can't get anything right. Church on a Saturday...fucking idiots.

JC

[azoomm]

please tell me you got video of this :lol:

I wish :lol:

My neighbor just yelled at them to KEEP ON WALKING. As the door closes, my daughter says [with a tune] dum dum dum dum DUM . Those that have seen the South Park episode with Mormons will get this :lol:

[HurricaneHeather]

WTF? Their supposed to be in Idaho today.

Goddamn Seventh Day Adventists can't get anything right. Church on a Saturday...fucking idiots.

JC

:rofl:

[t-homo]

I wish :lol:

My neighbor just yelled at them to KEEP ON WALKING. As the door closes, my daughter says [with a tune] dum dum dum dum DUM . Those that have seen the South Park episode with Mormons will get this :lol:

Great episode.

[Tsunami]

If i was going door to door and someone hugged me, i would think its an invitation to keep talking!

[Trip]

If i was going door to door and someone hugged me, i would think its an invitation to keep talking!

or go into the bedroom

[azoomm]

If i was going door to door and someone hugged me, i would think its an invitation to keep talking!

But, you've met me... and if you didn't know me... and saw ME coming at you for a HUG without warning. :lol: The look alone was priceless. I don't know if I can do that again.

[Particle Man]

or go into the bedroom

you're mistaking that for a porno flick: asian chick gets a hug at the door and heads to the bedroom... :lol:



:sorry:Tsunami...

[Gas Man]

I really want to start answering the door with my glock "jocked" in the front of my pants. Answer with my hands on it... and say... "Oh... sorry been havin some problems around here, you may not want to stay. BYE!"

[JoJoYZF]

A guy that I used to know answered the door naked once when the jehovahs witness people came. From what I heard they left pretty quick.

[Gas Man]

What pisses me off is that I have a "no soliciting" sign next to the door near the door bell button. Its a nice simple all brass sign. Tastefull. These sales fucks will still knock on the door say shit like "i'm not here to sell you something but we're doing a job down the street and want to know if you have had your kitchen or bathroom's remodelled?"

WTF that means you're selling your services. Besides the fact that I'm sure you don't havea fuckin permit by the city to do so, I do better fuckin work than your dumb ass anyway. Plus you're a lying prick that isn't doing shit down the street. Don't fuckin come at me with that bullshit. You dumb piece of monkey poo!!!!

[Rangerscott]

I dont give them any shit. They have more balls than me knocking on every stranger's house.

[rogue]

I used to answer the door holding a 6ft burmese python. That always went over well. :lol:

[azoomm]

Gas, how do you really feel? :lol:

I dont give them any shit. They have more balls than me knocking on every stranger's house.

I don't see an attempt to pass Kool-aid as a sign of big balls.

[njchopper87]

I haven't had to put up with any jackasses ringing the bell for a long time. It's great, but I probably just screwed myself by typing this.

[6doublefive321]

I wish :lol:

My neighbor just yelled at them to KEEP ON WALKING. As the door closes, my daughter says [with a tune] dum dum dum dum DUM . Those that have seen the South Park episode with Mormons will get this :lol:

Your daughter; smart smart smart smart smaaaaart.

[OneSickPsycho]

I've had the same tactic since I was 17... Open the door naked and invite them in immediately before they have a chance to say anything. Not only do they leave, but if they never come back. I've done it a number of times... and even watched them skip my house on future campaigns. It's guaranteed.

[Amorok]

I've answered the door naked and wet before. I had just gotten out of the shower and they kept laying on the doorbell. So I dropped the towel and went to say hello. Tried to invite them inside and everything. Damn rude of them to run off like that. Fifteen years later and they still don't come to my parents house.

[BobTheBiker]

I've yet to see any religious folks here. course we're not too tolerant of em neither. I'm waitin for one to come out with my truck tire iron to tell em t git off mah lawn befo I hits em wit it.

[Gas Man]

Gas, how do you really feel? :lol:



I don't see an attempt to pass Kool-aid as a sign of big balls.
What? I guess my beef is that I'm not talking about the bible thumpers. At least they're aren't selling something even though I have a sign that says not to solicite. I would just open the door and tell them to go fuck themselves but figure they might key the car on their way down the driveway, then I would have to pistol whip them at least in obvious replacement for what I really want to do which is shoot them where they stand old west style. But then the cops come, lawyers, courts, money money money... I just don't have time to deal with that shit so I guess I will keep an eye on this thread for more ideas beyond the naked door answer. I seriously think the jocked glock will do the trick. If not, then I could always upgrade to pump action shotgun!

[Tsunami]

See, I would think if you were trying to scare me off by being naked, i would just stay and start spouting bible verses. :lol:

[Amorok]

See, I would think if you were trying to scare me off by being naked, i would just stay and start spouting bible verses. :lol:

And as tiny as you are, I'd pick you up, sit down, put you in my lap, and talk about the first thing that popped up. And once again, you'd run off never to return. There's no proselytizer who can beat me, my kung fu is the best.

[Tsunami]

And as tiny as you are, I'd pick you up, sit down, put you in my lap, and talk about the first thing that popped up. And once again, you'd run off never to return. There's no proselytizer who can beat me, my kung fu is the best.

ok thats where i would draw the line! If you picked me up, i would kick you and then run off :lol: and then send you a flaming bag of poo later.

I don't like strangers touching me, which is a big reason i don't go to crowded places :lol: (ie: subways during rush hour, chinatown, clubs, etc)

[Rider]

I slam the door in their face after I tell them we have no soliciting signs in our fucking neighborhood. I usually give them the devil horns too. :rockout:

[askmrjesus]

I'm going to get in trouble with the home office for this, but here are a few of my personal favorites:

1. Open the door with a 12 Ga. in your hands, and yell, PULL!

2. Who? Jesus? Never heard of him, is he Republican?

3. Hi! Thank God you're here! My daughter just shoved a crucifix in her moo moo, and called me a cocksucker. Do you guys do exorcisms?

JC

[KSGregman]

I'm going to get in trouble with the home office for this, but here are a few of my personal favorites:

2. Who? Jesus? Never heard of him, is he Republican?

JC

:lol

[t-homo]

A couple of my friends have a porno sitting by the dvd player just in case. Standard procedure is to throw in the porno, skip to the facial scene, then everyone in the room get naked as fast as possible. Absolutely hilarious, until they keep talking to you like nothing is wrong, then you are in a somewhat awkward situation. They are persistent fuckers around here.

[rogue]

3. Hi! Thank God you're here! My daughter just shoved a crucifix in her moo moo, and called me a cocksucker. Do you guys do exorcisms?

JC


:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

[HurricaneHeather]

A couple of my friends have a porno sitting by the dvd player just in case. Standard procedure is to throw in the porno, skip to the facial scene, then everyone in the room get naked as fast as possible. Absolutely hilarious, until they keep talking to you like nothing is wrong, then you are in a somewhat awkward situation. They are persistent fuckers around here.

I would think it would be awkward for all of you to be naked together watching porn....there is a reason that would scare people....that's weird.

[njchopper87]

I'm going to get in trouble with the home office for this, but here are a few of my personal favorites:

1. Open the door with a 12 Ga. in your hands, and yell, PULL!

2. Who? Jesus? Never heard of him, is he Republican?

3. Hi! Thank God you're here! My daughter just shoved a crucifix in her moo moo, and called me a cocksucker. Do you guys do exorcisms?

JC

Top of line stuff right there, but I was expecting something along the lines of "I am he, I am your savior." Only put in a way that's actually funny since my sense of humor isn't quite up to par with yours.

[fasternyou929]

Weird, I don't think I know anybody in person that makes a habit of opening the door naked. But it seems everyone on the internet does it. :idk:

[HurricaneHeather]

Weird, I don't think I know anybody in person that makes a habit of opening the door naked. But it seems everyone on the internet does it. :idk:

:lol:

[Tsunami]

Weird, I don't think I know anybody in person that makes a habit of opening the door naked. But it seems everyone on the internet does it. :idk:

:lol:

True

I dont open the door for people i dont' know or expecting, let alone open the door naked!

[azoomm]

Weird, I don't think I know anybody in person that makes a habit of opening the door naked. But it seems everyone on the internet does it. :idk:

My mother did it once. It's the ONLY reason I'll ever believe it when someone else posts it - if just because my mother is an extreme prude. She was a nun, after all...

[Trip]

I can back up this idea of people answering the door naked, it definitely happens and sometimes when it does, it is glorious.

[Evadd]

how come it's only the dudes that answer the door nekkid? if Tsunami or any of the other hotties threatened to do that, i'd be first at their door with a white short sleeve button-down shirt.

[Tsunami]

how come it's only the dudes that answer the door nekkid? if Tsunami or any of the other hotties threatened to do that, i'd be first at their door with a white short sleeve button-down shirt.

Don't forget your bicycle and name tag.

[Archren]

Don't forget your bicycle and name tag.

Or your "Holy Shit" Bible. :lol:

[Particle Man]

Or your "Holy Shit" Bible. :lol:

holy crap, I haven't seen that pic in a while :lmao:

[HurricaneHeather]

Or your "Holy Shit" Bible. :lol:

Good times :lol: