Vasectomy.

[Triple]

...

[RACER X]

i'll prolly be heading down that path soon.....:tremble:

[z06boy]

I had it done several years ago. Drove my self home...just sat my blue balls up on the dash but the speedbumps were a killer. :lol

Actually I think insurance did pay for it so I don't know how much it cost but whatever it was...it was well worth it !!

[pauldun170]

(puts thread on watch list...rubs balls...curses wife)

[Amber Lamps]

Yep, I had it done a long time ago. I actually walked home approximately 5 miles. I went dancing that same night. It really wasn't that bad at all. I believe that once I forgave my wife for not making it back in time, I even had sex but I think that was the next morning. I was in the military so it was paid for of course, but I believe that insurance is more than happy to pay for an out-patient procedure vs the cost of having children.:lol: I don't know if this has changed but they made me wait for 3 months to have it done to give me time to change my mind. Good luck.

[the chi]

Im sure youve thought of it already, but you DID talk to your wife about it right? That whole kids thing can make or break a marriage...

[HurricaneHeather]

My wife wants kids, I don't.

I am all of a sudden interested in this thread. :lol:

[the chi]

Mmmmm, I understand. As long as you've been clear from the start, her fault for thinking to change you on that subject. Its said that everyone changes their mind, but that doesnt say you have to. Good luck man, I dont blame you for taking no chances as long as you are 100% sure.

[skiergirl]

I would def verify with Ins. You would think it would be covered since it's a one time procedure and less costly then children but birth control for women is NOT covered by Ins so I would say there is a chance this is not either. It is elective surgery after all.

Granted it's a 1 time fix-all and birth control for woman is an on-gong thing but most procedures for woman are not covered since they are elective.

[Amber Lamps]

Did she know you had it done?

Yea but it was a different situation from yours. My wife was "damaged" and supposedly couldn't have children without danger.

Anyway, if you want to be "sneaky" about it, I'm sure that you could have it done without her knowledge. It took maybe an hour start to finish. You could schedule it around your work. I was literally good to go after two or three days. There's always a lot of talk about choice when it comes to a woman's body. Well here's where we get to make a choice. If I were you, I'd get it done, not say anything and quit arguing with her on the subject. Heck a vasectomy could save your marriage! Hell, you can let her think that you're willing to let God decide whether or not you have children.:lol:

Quite frankly, you may be in danger of being ambushed with fatherhood here pretty soon. I've heard stories of women "forgetting" the pill, poking holes in condoms, getting men drunk, etc to get a baby when their clocks are going off. Women have looked me in the face and told me that " I'd change my mind about children if I had one". A lot of women seem to think that we'll be lovestruck and forget our misgivings if we're presented with fate accompli' !:panic: You'd better get on the case with a quickness before it's too late!!! I guarantee there's a female somewhere telling her that "you'll come around" if she gets pregnant.

[nhgunnut]

Mine was covered by my insurance. About 1/2 hour in the Dr office. Some discomfort nothing unbearable Suggest you get a bag of frozen peas. (they hold the cold beeter than ice cubes, have no corners and conform easily to the areas that need attention. )

[Amber Lamps]

I would def verify with Ins. You would think it would be covered since it's a one time procedure and less costly then children but birth control for women is NOT covered by Ins so I would say there is a chance this is not either. It is elective surgery after all.

Granted it's a 1 time fix-all and birth control for woman is an on-gong thing but most procedures for woman are not covered since they are elective.

Ah but the visits to the doctor are covered, just not the prescription. Hell, my girlfriend's just got her check-up/DEPO shot and it was completely covered. I'd imagine it depends on your insurance.

[HokieDNA01]

I would def verify with Ins. You would think it would be covered since it's a one time procedure and less costly then children but birth control for women is NOT covered by Ins so I would say there is a chance this is not either. It is elective surgery after all.

Granted it's a 1 time fix-all and birth control for woman is an on-gong thing but most procedures for woman are not covered since they are elective.

My Birthcontrol has always been covered by insurance and I have had multiple insurance companies over the years.

I think it would also be kind of cruel to not tell her you are getting it done then make her think that you decided to have kids but you can't seem to get her pregnant (she will think it is her issue). I would be furious.

[skiergirl]

hmm, I've only worked for 2 companies in the last 12 years and I guess I just got unlucky because the visit is covered yes but never the pills/etc.

[the chi]

On the not telling scenario, I definitely wouldnt recommend it. Not only is it hateful and hurtful unnecessarily, but if you tell her up front there is no way in the world you will be having children with her, she can go her own way before things go ugly.

I know someone who got married, the guy told her he was all in for having a family with her (he'd been married and had a teenage son and daughter), they tried for years. One day, talking to a neighbor whod known her hubby for years, she found out he'd been snipped for years BEFORE he married her, he just hadnt said anything. Talk about shitty and a waste of her time and life.

[Amber Lamps]

hmm, I've only worked for 2 companies in the last 12 years and I guess I just got unlucky because the visit is covered yes but never the pills/etc.

Same thing. I've had some really crappy ins before, so my doctor visits are covered, minus deductible, but prescriptions never are.

[pauldun170]

If you can't tell your wife that your getting fixed you should be seeing a therapist or a divorce lawyer.

[shmike]

If you can't tell your wife that your getting fixed you should be seeing a therapist or a divorce lawyer.

Have you not read Triple's posts before today? :scratch:

T,

The memoir offer is still on the table. :lol:

[Amber Lamps]

On the not telling scenario, I definitely wouldnt recommend it. Not only is it hateful and hurtful unnecessarily, but if you tell her up front there is no way in the world you will be having children with her, she can go her own way before things go ugly.

I know someone who got married, the guy told her he was all in for having a family with her (he'd been married and had a teenage son and daughter), they tried for years. One day, talking to a neighbor whod known her hubby for years, she found out he'd been snipped for years BEFORE he married her, he just hadnt said anything. Talk about shitty and a waste of her time and life.

Look, I hear what you are saying but Kathy and Rae, I know almost for certain that you both know girls that have gotten pregnant on purpose against a man's wishes. :idk: but I definitely wouldn't tell her until after the deed was done. he may as well spare himself the threats and the arguments that this will bring. No offense, but he already allowed himself to be beaten down once, there's no reason to believe that she can't do it again. Regardless, if he is certain that he wants to do this, he had better get the balls (haha) rolling ASAP!

[LeeNetworX]

Have you not read Triple's posts before today? :scratch:



LOL

I love Triple threads; always interesting to read.

[Homeslice]

On the not telling scenario, I definitely wouldnt recommend it. Not only is it hateful and hurtful unnecessarily, but if you tell her up front there is no way in the world you will be having children with her, she can go her own way before things go ugly.


Post of the thread.

[Ninjakel]

I'll tell her after we've paid off our debts.



That's mature.

[HokieDNA01]

Look, I hear what you are saying but Kathy and Rae, I know almost for certain that you both know girls that have gotten pregnant on purpose against a man's wishes. :idk: but I definitely wouldn't tell her until after the deed was done. he may as well spare himself the threats and the arguments that this will bring. No offense, but he already allowed himself to be beaten down once, there's no reason to believe that she can't do it again. Regardless, if he is certain that he wants to do this, he had better get the balls (haha) rolling ASAP!

Actually no I don't know anyone that has done that. You know you can tell her and there is a great way to not get pregnant after telling her but before the appointment if he really doesn't trust her....condoms or no sex.

[the chi]

Look, I hear what you are saying but Kathy and Rae, I know almost for certain that you both know girls that have gotten pregnant on purpose against a man's wishes. :idk: but I definitely wouldn't tell her until after the deed was done. he may as well spare himself the threats and the arguments that this will bring. No offense, but he already allowed himself to be beaten down once, there's no reason to believe that she can't do it again. Regardless, if he is certain that he wants to do this, he had better get the balls (haha) rolling ASAP!

Hunny, you give bad advice sometimes, this is one of them. Regardless of the situation, on what planet is it ever a good idea to lie about something that drastically affects someone elses life to the detriment of a person? I know we disagree on many things, but you have to have no ethics, morals or even good sense to advise someone to lie to another person about something as life changing as this.

[shmike]

You understand, then, why the world doesn't need any more of me...



I am certainly not trying to talk you out of it. :cheers:

[Amber Lamps]

I'll tell her after we've paid off our debts.

Well, they've just cleared a birth control shot for men if I'm not mistaken...:lol:

[Amber Lamps]

Hunny, you give bad advice sometimes, this is one of them. Regardless of the situation, on what planet is it ever a good idea to lie about something that drastically affects someone elses life to the detriment of a person? I know we disagree on many things, but you have to have no ethics, morals or even good sense to advise someone to lie to another person about something as life changing as this.

Okay, but it doesn't necessarily affect her life does it? I mean the truth of the matter is, she married someone who clearly stated that they never wanted to have children. She agreed to his conditions. Him getting fixed shouldn't change anything between them technically. He is being consistent and true to his principles.

[pauldun170]

He is being consistent and true to his principles.

He already bitched out and got married violating one principle.

No point...just establishing ...yeah no point.

Otherwise.
Divorce and let the girl go find some who shares the same goals.

[pauldun170]

....

[askmrjesus]

Divorce and let the girl go find some who shares the same goals.

What? And let her off the hook for her half of the flat screen?

JC

[the chi]

Okay, but it doesn't necessarily affect her life does it? I mean the truth of the matter is, she married someone who clearly stated that they never wanted to have children. She agreed to his conditions. Him getting fixed shouldn't change anything between them technically. He is being consistent and true to his principles.


Are you serious? Really?! Of course it affects her! How could you possibly think it doesnt, regardless of whether or not it was planned to not have children. Women are foolish enough to every day go into a marriage with the thought they can change a man, as evidenced by Triple's wife thinking perhaps she could change his mind, its not right, but it happens. And being a female, and observing those of my gender, alot of times women dont even realize that they are doing this.

However, blatantly going out and getting snipped, without first talking to your wife, your PARTNER, and lying or not being straightforward robs her of her chance to make a clean break, and go do her own thing. If he tells her, "hey, I am doing this, I will never have children with you", she either accepts it or leaves. Not telling her, and pretending to make the motions to have children and it not occurring can be crippling for those women who find it "necessary" to have kids.

I know you are all about being selfish and doing your own thing, but damn Tig, thats pretty low to even consider.

[the chi]

He already bitched out and got married violating one principle.

No point...just establishing ...yeah no point.

Otherwise.
Divorce and let the girl go find some who shares the same goals.

AMEN. No offense intended Triple, but ya did kinda set a precedence by going against what you told her once already.

What? And let her off the hook for her half of the flat screen?

JC

Nah, thats why they make divorce paperwork, you get to pick and choose the debt sharing! :lol: She can still pay her half, or he gets the tv, she gets the couch and they take the debt for the item they keep...

[MILK]

Are you serious? Really?! Of course it affects her! How could you possibly think it doesnt, regardless of whether or not it was planned to not have children. Women are foolish enough to every day go into a marriage with the thought they can change a man, as evidenced by Triple's wife thinking perhaps she could change his mind, its not right, but it happens. And being a female, and observing those of my gender, alot of times women dont even realize that they are doing this.

However, blatantly going out and getting snipped, without first talking to your wife, your PARTNER, and lying or not being straightforward robs her of her chance to make a clean break, and go do her own thing. If he tells her, "hey, I am doing this, I will never have children with you", she either accepts it or leaves. Not telling her, and pretending to make the motions to have children and it not occurring can be crippling for those women who find it "necessary" to have kids.

I know you are all about being selfish and doing your own thing, but damn Tig, thats pretty low to even consider.


Amen. She is very young too. She has plenty of time to find someone to marry and have children with if she chooses to. She deserves that choice. Children are a big deal to a lot of women AND men and no one has the right to deny that through deception.

[askmrjesus]

I know you are all about being selfish and doing your own thing, but damn Tig, thats pretty low to even consider.

The word "cowardly" comes to mind.

JC

[the chi]

I know I am coming off a little preachy, but knowing the girl that was lied to by her ex about his vasectomy and knowing how drastically she was hurt and how much it impacted her life, I cant in good conscience say go ahead, without saying, TELL HER. My friend has remarried, and is a wonderful person despite his deception, but because so many years of her life were spent with a jackass that lied to her, she is now in a rush to have children before its too late as she is considered a high risk, and every year tht passes makes it that much less likely she can even have that child she's always dreamed of. If he had told her from the start, she could have made her own decision to marry him or move on, he took that away from her.

From the other side, I was the female that didnt want kids, and from the very beginning I was clear about it. I told my ex I would never have kids, and he could take it or leave it. He thought he could deal with that, maybe change my mind, turns out he couldnt, and it made him unhappy, but the blame lays on him for thinking he could change me. :shrug: Fortunately for him, he was able to move on, still young enough to have that family he wanted, and has already started.

*Triple - Every guy I have ever known that had the procedure says while its uncomfortable during the procedure, there is a very short healing period and they are all 100% glad they had it done and woud never go back. The reversal I have been told is MUCH WORSE than the initial procedure.

[R6Chick]

Haha, I'm just taking a break from work and found this thread.

If a man I thought I could change, but wouldn't for children, I would be disappointed and need to make some rough life decisions. Worst case, kiss on the forehead and a tearful goodbye.

If a man I thought I could change lied about something that big, I would take everything I could away and focus all my energy on revenge until I was satisfied the Asshole paid for my expense of time, energy, and emotion due to his lies.

You'll always have better luck at being up front since big things like this always tend to come out in the open.

Also, this is equivalent to a women "forgetting" BC or poking holes in the condom. I feel as though the situation is no different on either side.

[James]

Look 18 months into the future....

"Poll: How did my vasectomy fail? Wife is pregnant"

[HurricaneHeather]

Man, it seems like you and your wife might be two hopelessly miserable people. :(

[LeeNetworX]

Look 18 months into the future....

"Poll: How did my vasectomy fail? Wife is pregnant"

Answer: She found out about his plan and paid the doctor to not really snip 'em.

[shmike]

Answer: She found out about his plan and paid the doctor to not really snip 'em.

Doubt it.

They's po'.

Based on history, I'd think she'd beat or bite the Dr. into submission.

[pauldun170]

Preventing my wife from having children is my way of "going green."

Noble intentions, I assure you.

:lol:


Seriously keep us posted on the all the divorce stuff.
Just do me a favor, when it gets messy post up the good pics of her.
Nothing says revenge like your shower pics coming up first on a piratebay search.

[LeeNetworX]

Doubt it.

They's po'.

Based on history, I'd think she'd beat or bite the Dr. into submission.

:lol


Just do me a favor, when it gets messy post up the good pics of her.
Nothing says revenge like your shower pics coming up first on a piratebay search.

What's piratebay?

[pauldun170]

Seriously Triple

Stop being a pussy and be a man.
Dip your balls in molten zinc.

Vasectomy is for fuckheads who listen to Dreamtheater, Jazz fusion and drink at starbucks.

[Apoc]

This is my line of thinking as well. Even if it IS an out of pocket expense, it will still cost a hell of a lot less than raising a kid...

My wife wants kids, I don't.

Your not going to find a doctor who will do it anyway, as you have no kids and your wife isnt on board with it. I looked into it before, im glad I didnt get it done, it was a bad time in my life when i thought i would be better off without ever having kids.

But ya, forget it, at least till your mid thirties, a doctor isnt going to do it. Especially not behind your wifes back.

[LeeNetworX]

Your not going to find a doctor who will do it anyway, as you have no kids and your wife isnt on board with it. I looked into it before, im glad I didnt get it done, it was a bad time in my life when i thought i would be better off without ever having kids.

But ya, forget it, at least till your mid thirties, a doctor isnt going to do it. Especially not behind your wifes back.

Hey Triple, take a drive up to my house and I'll do it with our garden snips for $250.

[Trip]

I am with tigger, get it done, don't tell her. You get more action that way with her thinking there is some potency to your pants army. I forget who I was talking to, but they said his wife lost interest when she knew kids were off the table. If she starts up with the kids thing and wants to get tested for why you arent having kids when she starts to want to try to have em, don't lie to her. Just tell her you had it done and you told her from the beginning that you didn't want kids.

No matter what, if she wants kids and you don't, I think the marriage will end badly or with you having to sacrifice your principles and have a kid. I know for sure she won't wake up one day and say "hey, I don't want kids anymore."

[Apoc]

oh, and this time i agree with you 100% triple, she knew you didnt want kids, and now she's trying to change you, i dont blame you for trying to prevent it.

but i still dont think a doc will do it.

[Trip]

but i still dont think a doc will do it.

A doc will do it in the states no problem. I know of a issue that led to divorce because of this same situation where the husband did it behind his wife's back.

"suprise! we are pregnant" took on a whole knew meaning for that guy

[the chi]

I think we've all heard the stories of the guy who was fixed, didnt tell the chick and she tried to blame it on him when she got pregnant. Im not in any way saying dont do it, sometimes I wish I could talk my hubby into to, Im just advocating being up front.

Trip, nice game man, I know A would hang you up by the balls if you tried that...:lol:

[Trip]

Trip, nice game man, I know A would hang you up by the balls if you tried that...:lol:

I want kids more than she does, so this isn't an issue for us.

[unknownroad]

AMEN. No offense intended Triple, but ya did kinda set a precedence by going against what you told her once already.


So if you lose one battle you have to concede on everything? :nono:

I'm also dead-set against ever having kids. I can see getting it done without telling her, but, only as a means of making sure that she doesn't engineer some kind of "accident". However, that's not the same as agreeing to try to get her pregnant while knowing you can't. That crosses a line, to me.

I had it done a couple years ago. Outpatient procedure, pretty minimal pain (but I'm a masochist, so don't take my word for it). Insurance (Blue Cross) paid for it. Couldn't drive myself home because surgery squicks me out and I self-medicated with vodka beforehand :dthumb:

Edit to add- I was 29 at the time. The doctor did have a form that they wanted my wife to sign, but didn't want it notarized or anything... just something to cover their asses in case I was doing what you want to do :)

[the chi]

So if you lose one battle you have to concede on everything? :nono:

I'm also dead-set against ever having kids. I can see getting it done without telling her, but, only as a means of making sure that she doesn't engineer some kind of "accident". However, that's not the same as agreeing to try to get her pregnant while knowing you can't. That crosses a line, to me.

I had it done a couple years ago. Outpatient procedure, pretty minimal pain (but I'm a masochist, so don't take my word for it). Insurance (Blue Cross) paid for it. Couldn't drive myself home because surgery squicks me out and I self-medicated with vodka beforehand :dthumb:

Nope, read a lil closer dear, I didnt say concede and give in, I stated he had set a precedence for allowing his mind to be changed which could lead her to think he might give in on this as well. Women are sneaky, and if we think we can get our way, we will try our darndest.

I wouldnt give in, but neither would I lie and possibly ruin someone elses life when a little honesty would allow us to both get what we wanted. Like a divorce, or a kid. If you seriously have to worry about your woman "manufacturing" an accident, that reeks to me of deeper and worse problems.

[unknownroad]

Nope, read a lil closer dear, I didnt say concede and give in, I stated he had set a precedence for allowing his mind to be changed which could lead her to think he might give in on this as well. problems.

I still think that's an entirely unreasonable conclusion/argument, and it's "precedent", sweetie. :poke:

[the chi]

I still think that's an entirely unreasonable conclusion/argument, and it's "precedent", sweetie. :poke:

Thank you for correcting my spelling. Tell me how its unreasonable...he stated his intentions of not getting married. He then reneged his own statement by getting married. How does that not set a "precedent" that he can change his mind about huge, life changing decisions?

Again, Im not saying she has any right to expect he will change his mind, but he did on marriage, proving that it could be done.

So how exactly would a person not make a conclusion, based on actual evidence, as he stated himself, that he would do something he said he wouldnt?

[Apoc]

I wouldnt give in, but neither would I lie

he's not lying, one thing I can say, is that as long as i've known triple, at cf and here, he hasn't wanted children. She knew that. I'd do it first and then tell her I had it done, instead of not telling her at all, but if he's adamant, I wouldn't give her a say in the matter.

I do believe its 'for better or worse' , not just 'for better'. If she cant get over him not wanting kids, she shouldn't have married him in the first place.

[Amber Lamps]

Are you serious? Really?! Of course it affects her! How could you possibly think it doesnt, regardless of whether or not it was planned to not have children. Women are foolish enough to every day go into a marriage with the thought they can change a man, as evidenced by Triple's wife thinking perhaps she could change his mind, its not right, but it happens. And being a female, and observing those of my gender, alot of times women dont even realize that they are doing this.

However, blatantly going out and getting snipped, without first talking to your wife, your PARTNER, and lying or not being straightforward robs her of her chance to make a clean break, and go do her own thing. If he tells her, "hey, I am doing this, I will never have children with you", she either accepts it or leaves. Not telling her, and pretending to make the motions to have children and it not occurring can be crippling for those women who find it "necessary" to have kids.

I know you are all about being selfish and doing your own thing, but damn Tig, thats pretty low to even consider.


I may be "out of line" about lying to her afterward (it was a bit of guy humor, anyway) but he does not have to ask her permission to get fixed, that's bullshit. Again, she entered the marriage knowing full well that children would not be part of it. He has every right to protect himself from the schemes of females. If she has a child, whether through subterfuge or subjugation, he will be stuck with that burden for 18+ years!

Fine, he should tell her after he gets it done. I know this is not the normal "head on" approach I would normally take but we aren't talking about me. He has a hard time confronting this woman and unfortunately he may need to take matters in his own hands. It's funny to hear women take this line. It's his body and he can do whatever he wants with it. I don't seriously propose that he lie about it BUT I do propose that he do this before there is an "accident" of some sort.

You seem to have personal reasons for your view point well here's mine. I wanted children more than anything but I went and got fixed to protect my wife's life (she wouldn't use birth control). She got pregnant by someone else while I was in the shit. She never told me and I had to find out when I came home 18 months later. My wife was 7 months pregnant. I understand what you are saying and I actually believe in marriage, being honest, etc. Sometimes people don't give you a choice and you have to look out for yourself.If he tries to have a "discussion" about this, it will end up in a fight that he can't win. He will cave and have to raise a child that he doesn't want or she will leave. Quite frankly, if he felt this way about children, he should have gotten "snipped" a long time ago.

[pauldun170]

I waiting for the "Why don't you sit down and compromise" folks.

:lol:

Kids are a yes\no kind of thing.

This is really a yes\no on whther Triple is going to stay married.

[the chi]

he's not lying, one thing I can say, is that as long as i've known triple, at cf and here, he hasn't wanted children. She knew that. I'd do it first and then tell her I had it done, instead of not telling her at all, but if he's adamant, I wouldn't give her a say in the matter.

I do believe its 'for better or worse' , not just 'for better'. If she cant get over him not wanting kids, she shouldn't have married him in the first place.

I may be "out of line" about lying to her afterward (it was a bit of guy humor, anyway) but he does not have to ask her permission to get fixed, that's bullshit. Again, she entered the marriage knowing full well that children would not be part of it. He has every right to protect himself from the schemes of females. If she has a child, whether through subterfuge or subjugation, he will be stuck with that burden for 18+ years!

Fine, he should tell her after he gets it done. I know this is not the normal "head on" approach I would normally take but we aren't talking about me. He has a hard time confronting this woman and unfortunately he may need to take matters in his own hands. It's funny to hear women take this line. It's his body and he can do whatever he wants with it. I don't seriously propose that he lie about it BUT I do propose that he do this before there is an "accident" of some sort.

You seem to have personal reasons for your view point well here's mine. I wanted children more than anything but I went and got fixed to protect my wife's life (she wouldn't use birth control). She got pregnant by someone else while I was in the shit. She never told me and I had to find out when I came home 18 months later. My wife was 7 months pregnant. I understand what you are saying and I actually believe in marriage, being honest, etc. Sometimes people don't give you a choice and you have to look out for yourself.If he tries to have a "discussion" about this, it will end up in a fight that he can't win. He will cave and have to raise a child that he doesn't want or she will leave. Quite frankly, if he felt this way about children, he should have gotten "snipped" a long time ago.


Jesus guys, who are you arguing against here? At one point did I say DONT GET snipped?

Read all my posts, I am all in favor or snipping but not in favor of the dishonesty many of you seem to think is ok.

This is like you guys saying a woman can go get an abortion without talking to her husband about it first. You would all be up in arms saying "how dare she make a decision like that without talking to me!" Not a one of you would agree to that reasoning now would you? Double standards are rampant apparently.

I can only thank my lucky stars I have a man who loves me and respects me enough to talk to me about major life changes that affect us both before going and doing something like this.

*edit to add - if he is weak enough to sit down with this woman and give in and have kids, against his wishes, then thats his own problem, and lying to her isnt going to change it, but make it considerably worse because he then becomes the lying cheating sack of crap when they do split up, and rightfully so. Sorry Triple, nothing personal.

FYI - Triple, if you do get snipped, and you DONT tell your wife ahead of time, she has grounds to get the marriage anulled instead of a divorce, meaning you could be left holding the stick for the debt you were talking about due to deception on your part unless you have a signed document stating she agreed to marry you and never have kids.

[HurricaneHeather]

I waiting for the "Why don't you sit down and compromise" folks.

:lol:

Kids are a yes\no kind of thing.

This is really a yes\no on whther Triple is going to stay married.


Seriously, how can any good come from this situation? Man up and leave her already. :shrug:

[RACER X]

get r done
tell her
live w/ the consequences

[Amber Lamps]

Your not going to find a doctor who will do it anyway, as you have no kids and your wife isnt on board with it. I looked into it before, im glad I didnt get it done, it was a bad time in my life when i thought i would be better off without ever having kids.

But ya, forget it, at least till your mid thirties, a doctor isnt going to do it. Especially not behind your wifes back.

WRONG!!! Maybe not in Canada but I got fixed when I was in my early 20s with zero kids. I had to wait a few months but that's it. I also didn't have to "clear it with my wife beforehand". Hell, why does the doctor even need to know the guy is married for that matter? A woman can have an abortion in this country without informing or getting the permission of the father of the child. How is this any different? :idk: If I were you T, I'd pick up the phone tomorrow and check into all of your options. I was honestly responding to your "did she know" question in a joking manner but I'm very serious about protecting yourself. Good luck Bro!

[CrazyKell]

Wow.

Sometimes I think I want to get married.....you know....in theory.

But for the most part, I think that it would take one hell of a MAN (yes a man, not like lots of the pathetic excuses for men) to actually make me want to enter into that kind of agreement.

You don't have to ask her permission but the very premise of marriage implies that you at the very least discuss such radical life changing moves.

Advocating for getting it done, then pretending to try and get her pregnant is downright criminal and I'd nail his ass to the wall if he ever tried that shit with me. :nono:

[the chi]

Jesus Tig, which brings me back to the mindset that if you have to "protect yourself" from your wife, why the hell are you in a relationship?!

[the chi]

Wow.

Sometimes I think I want to get married.....you know....in theory.

But for the most part, I think that it would take one hell of a MAN (yes a man, not like lots of the pathetic excuses for men) to actually make me want to enter into that kind of agreement.

You don't have to ask her permission but the very premise of marriage implies that you at the very least discuss such radical life changing moves.

Advocating for getting it done, then pretending to try and get her pregnant is downright criminal and I'd nail his ass to the wall if he ever tried that shit with me. :nono:


At least someone gets what Im trying to say here...

[pauldun170]

Jesus Tig, which brings me back to the mindset that if you have to "protect yourself" from your wife, why the hell are you in a relationship?!

Exactly

[Amber Lamps]

I am with tigger, get it done, don't tell her. You get more action that way with her thinking there is some potency to your pants army. I forget who I was talking to, but they said his wife lost interest when she knew kids were off the table. If she starts up with the kids thing and wants to get tested for why you arent having kids when she starts to want to try to have em, don't lie to her. Just tell her you had it done and you told her from the beginning that you didn't want kids.

No matter what, if she wants kids and you don't, I think the marriage will end badly or with you having to sacrifice your principles and have a kid. I know for sure she won't wake up one day and say "hey, I don't want kids anymore."

It was Rider before...

Let's not forget about the child here. Why would anyone demand another child be brought into this world without both parents wanting it in the first place? :idk: Again, maybe this is another "hood rat" thing but I've known SEVERAL women who openly admit to getting pregnant on purpose. They need to hurry up with that birth control shot for men!:rockwoot:

[pauldun170]

At least someone gets what Im trying to say here...

Sexist jerk



http://www.twowheelfix.com/showpost.php?p=225825&postcount=20

[R6Chick]

At least someone gets what Im trying to say here...

I get it too, but I just can't keep up.

All I have to say is WOW.

[Amber Lamps]

Jesus guys, who are you arguing against here? At one point did I say DONT GET snipped?

Read all my posts, I am all in favor or snipping but not in favor of the dishonesty many of you seem to think is ok.

This is like you guys saying a woman can go get an abortion without talking to her husband about it first. You would all be up in arms saying "how dare she make a decision like that without talking to me!" Not a one of you would agree to that reasoning now would you? Double standards are rampant apparently.

I can only thank my lucky stars I have a man who loves me and respects me enough to talk to me about major life changes that affect us both before going and doing something like this.

*edit to add - if he is weak enough to sit down with this woman and give in and have kids, against his wishes, then thats his own problem, and lying to her isnt going to change it, but make it considerably worse because he then becomes the lying cheating sack of crap when they do split up, and rightfully so. Sorry Triple, nothing personal.

FYI - Triple, if you do get snipped, and you DONT tell your wife ahead of time, she has grounds to get the marriage anulled instead of a divorce, meaning you could be left holding the stick for the debt you were talking about due to deception on your part unless you have a signed document stating she agreed to marry you and never have kids.


Chi " However, blatantly going out and getting snipped, without first talking to your wife, your PARTNER, and lying or not being straightforward robs her of her chance to make a clean break, and go do her own thing."

I just don't think he should have to discuss this with her beforehand. Sure pretending to want to have kids would be despicable and I only said it in jest BUT getting fixed is merely a logical step in the direction that he proposed to her in the first place. Again he has been somewhat foolish up til this point by not getting fixed imho. If he knew that he felt this way he should have had it done a long time ago!

[HurricaneHeather]

I get it too, but I just can't keep up.

All I have to say is WOW.

Right?

[askmrjesus]

Chi " However, blatantly going out and getting snipped, without first talking to your wife, your PARTNER, and lying or not being straightforward robs her of her chance to make a clean break, and go do her own thing."

I just don't think he should have to discuss this with her beforehand. Sure pretending to want to have kids would be despicable and I only said it in jest BUT getting fixed is merely a logical step in the direction that he proposed to her in the first place. Again he has been somewhat foolish up til this point by not getting fixed imho. If he knew that he felt this way he should have had it done a long time ago!

Dude, can you see China yet? :lol:

JC

[CrazyKell]

I've known SEVERAL women who openly admit to getting pregnant on purpose. They need to hurry up with that birth control shot for men!:rockwoot:

Last time I checked it took 2 to tango. :idk: Don't want her getting pregnant (accidentally or otherwise)? Wrap that shit up and insist on it. Simple as right? Oooh yeah....too many guys don't want to do that and then dump all the responsibility on someone else. Does it make what she does right? Hell no....but man up and take responsibility for what YOU did. :skep:

[the chi]

Sexist jerk



http://www.twowheelfix.com/showpost.php?p=225825&postcount=20

Im sorry sweetie, I thought I gave you kudos earlier!! You were dead on with that post!! *hug*

Dude, can you see China yet? :lol:

JC

:rofl: Oh holy hell, sorry JC, thats funny.

I just give up. I knew Tig had a skewed vision of a reasonable and good relationship, but all the statements made today show he has NO IDEA what a real, loving, caring, trusting and real relationship is made up of.

Here Tig, here's something to remember that others already know:

If you have to "protect" yourself from your woman to not have kids, thats not a relationship.

If your woman runs around on you while your in the desert, thats not a real relationship (on her part obviously).

If you would go out and make some life changing decision without your significant other, than obviously they ARENT significant and it ISNT a real relationship.

It makes me slightly sad for you that you apparently have never had a real, meaningful, trusting loving relationship. Perhaps you are with the wrong kinda woman? (Not making an offer, just saying.)

[derf]

Wow, from the first to the last page this turned into one hell of a conversation.

Yeh um, getting snipped was the greatest thing Ive ever done, insurance covered it, I drove home from the hospital but I really shouldn't have, and there is no way you can hide it, because you will have stiches, and ice on your balls, and if you don't ice them they grow huge, then scars after. Be honest and tell her no kids.

[Amber Lamps]

Jesus Tig, which brings me back to the mindset that if you have to "protect yourself" from your wife, why the hell are you in a relationship?!

:boobs: and :nf: Hahahaha! Seriously, you've been up that road yourself. Shit why even get married if you don't want kids?:idk: Unfortunately, you do have to protect yourself from your spouse. I didn't always believe this, even though everything in my upbringing told me it was true...

Be honest, are all of your finances tied together? Are you cosigned on all of his loans and vice-verse? Are all of your bank accounts joint? Every credit card? Does he know EVERY dirty little secret about you? Are you protecting yourself, even a little?

You keep saying that he should discuss this with her first... Okay but what if she says "no", then what?:idk:

[derf]

And if you really don't want kids try this:

1-run out of condoms
2-convince her that tin foil is a good alternative
3-sex
4-problem solved

[Amber Lamps]

At least someone gets what Im trying to say here...

Yeah, someone who won't be stuck paying child support for 18 years because some woman decided to have an "accident".:idk:

[the chi]

:boobs: and :nf: Hahahaha! Seriously, you've been up that road yourself. Shit why even get married if you don't want kids?:idk: Unfortunately, you do have to protect yourself from your spouse. I didn't always believe this, even though everything in my upbringing told me it was true...

Be honest, are all of your finances tied together? Are you cosigned on all of his loans and vice-verse? Are all of your bank accounts joint? Every credit card? Does he know EVERY dirty little secret about you? Are you protecting yourself, even a little?

You keep saying that he should discuss this with her first... Okay but what if she says "no", then what?:idk:

Everyone has their own reasons for getting married. You had yours, I had mine, with the understanding that there would never be kids, I cant help it he decided later he wanted them, nor can Triple help that she wants kids and didnt pay good attention when they got married that there would never be kids.

With my ex husband, yes, everything and I mean EVERYTHING was tied together, and I am still paying for it. But there was no need to "protect" myself from him. As for the kids thing, I took BC and he used protection, or he got no sex, plain and simple, and brutally honest and upfront. And yes, he knew every little secret, and every account was shared. He was my life partner, why wouldnt I want to share with him? (I operate on the honesty policy, if I tell you now, when it hops out of the closet later, no surprises and no right to get pissed as if you didnt know.)

If they talk, she doesnt like it, she either accepts it, or she can leave. There really is no discussion from the way Triple stated it. He doesnt want kids, he wont be changing his mind, he told her from the start. He sits her down, tells her he is having the procedure, if shes good with it, great, if not, they arent meant to be.

And if you really don't want kids try this:

1-run out of condoms
2-convince her that tin foil is a good alternative
3-sex
4-problem solved

How bout "NO SEX"?

[Amber Lamps]

Last time I checked it took 2 to tango. :idk: Don't want her getting pregnant (accidentally or otherwise)? Wrap that shit up and insist on it. Simple as right? Oooh yeah....too many guys don't want to do that and then dump all the responsibility on someone else. Does it make what she does right? Hell no....but man up and take responsibility for what YOU did. :skep:

You pm'd me all hurt and whatnot and asked me not to "attack" you. I have lived up to that promise but you are making it difficult...

[the chi]

Yeah, someone who won't be stuck paying child support for 18 years because some woman decided to have an "accident".:idk:

Hey Mr "read only what you want to see", it takes TWO!! You dont want babies, dont make "boom boom". Its that easy. If you dont trust her, you shouldnt be sleeping with her! Who knows what she might give you in return besides a child!

[R6Chick]

You keep saying that he should discuss this with her first... Okay but what if she says "no", then what?:idk:

"Then this relationship is not going to work for me."

If you wait until the damage is done, well, I want pictures of what she decides to do to you.

[Amber Lamps]

Everyone has their own reasons for getting married. You had yours, I had mine, with the understanding that there would never be kids, I cant help it he decided later he wanted them, nor can Triple help that she wants kids and didnt pay good attention when they got married that there would never be kids.

With my ex husband, yes, everything and I mean EVERYTHING was tied together, and I am still paying for it. But there was no need to "protect" myself from him. As for the kids thing, I took BC and he used protection, or he got no sex, plain and simple, and brutally honest and upfront. And yes, he knew every little secret, and every account was shared. He was my life partner, why wouldnt I want to share with him? (I operate on the honesty policy, if I tell you now, when it hops out of the closet later, no surprises and no right to get pissed as if you didnt know.)

If they talk, she doesnt like it, she either accepts it, or she can leave. There really is no discussion from the way Triple stated it. He doesnt want kids, he wont be changing his mind, he told her from the start. He sits her down, tells her he is having the procedure, if shes good with it, great, if not, they arent meant to be.


I'm talking about your current marriage. Are all of your finances tied together or did you learn from your past mistakes? It doesn't matter. Once again, all the girls and the semi-girls have lined up against me. That's fine. I am not trying to put all of the blame for unwanted pregnancies on women. I think that all guys that don't want children should get fixed, wrap it or get on the pill/shot. Don't forget, I am fixed because I didn't want to leave the matter of procreation in the hands of a woman or "God". I dealt with it myself as I am advising Triple to do. I honestly think men should take control of this procreation situation and stop allowing our lives to be ruined! If my brothers have any sense whatsoever they will jump on this bc shot hard!!! I may be a "sexist", a "coward", an "asshole", "sick" or whatever else but I am consistent!!!:lol:

[Amber Lamps]

Hey Mr "read only what you want to see", it takes TWO!! You dont want babies, dont make "boom boom". Its that easy. If you dont trust her, you shouldnt be sleeping with her! Who knows what she might give you in return besides a child!

Nope I'm fixed so I can fuck all I want!!!:rockwoot: Abstinence is not the only answer, or don't you know that? :lol: Besides, any man that "totally and completely" trusts women is a fool! Seriously, how many women are going to state that they trust their men completely... Oh never mind, I forgot all of you girls have perfect relationships running over with trust, communication and love.:lol:

[Amber Lamps]

"Then this relationship is not going to work for me."

If you wait until the damage is done, well, I want pictures of what she decides to do to you.

Hey we agree on something, in a way. I personally don't think that he should have ever gotten in this relationship with this chick in the first place, bottom line! To be honest, I'm having some fun here but the reality is that this guy is totally fucked no matter what he does! It's my opinion that she will freak out if he even so much as hints that he wants to get fixed.

[the chi]

I'm talking about your current marriage. Are all of your finances tied together or did you learn from your past mistakes? It doesn't matter. Once again, all the girls and the semi-girls have lined up against me. That's fine. I am not trying to put all of the blame for unwanted pregnancies on women. I think that all guys that don't want children should get fixed, wrap it or get on the pill/shot. Don't forget, I am fixed because I didn't want to leave the matter of procreation in the hands of a woman or "God". I dealt with it myself as I am advising Triple to do. I honestly think men should take control of this procreation situation and stop allowing our lives to be ruined! If my brothers have any sense whatsoever they will jump on this bc shot hard!!! I may be a "sexist", a "coward", an "asshole", "sick" or whatever else but I am consistent!!!:lol:


I forget, were you married when you had it done? Did you talk to her about it ahead of time if you were? If you did it without her consent, i firmly stick to my belief that you shouldnt have been married if you felt the need to protect yourself, or that you couldnt trust her not to trick you into it.

As for my current marriage, no, things arent all 100% together right now, not because we are protecting ourselves but because we simply havent gotten around to it, we are still very newly married, and since I didnt marry him for his money, I am in no rush. I am reluctant not because I dont trust HIM, but because I want to protect HIM from my possible bad credit from accounts that may go sour from my ex. :shrug: If I need something, he'll take care of me, and vice versa. As well, when we decide to have kids, we'll sit down and talk about it, and maybe one day, after a kid, he'll get snipped so I dont have to, but those would both be decisions we make together.

[Amber Lamps]

Sexist jerk



http://www.twowheelfix.com/showpost.php?p=225825&postcount=20

"Mama look at me, wasn't I a GOOD boy?"

Dude you are a cunt sucking weasel of the first magnitude!!! :lol:

Again, I was kidding about tricking her into believing he wants kids but I honestly believe that he should get fixed.. you too btw!:lol:

[the chi]

Nope I'm fixed so I can fuck all I want!!!:rockwoot: Abstinence is not the only answer, or don't you know that? :lol: Besides, any man that "totally and completely" trusts women is a fool! Seriously, how many women are going to state that they trust their men completely... Oh never mind, I forgot all of you girls have perfect relationships running over with trust, communication and love.:lol:

And for that, I am truly sorry for you Tig. Not everyone has that, but I am glad I got lucky and while not perfect, mines as good as I could wish it to be!

And stop trying to rile me, I caught ya on that one. ;-)

Hey we agree on something, in a way. I personally don't think that he should have ever gotten in this relationship with this chick in the first place, bottom line! To be honest, I'm having some fun here but the reality is that this guy is totally fucked no matter what he does! It's my opinion that she will freak out if he even so much as hints that he wants to get fixed.


Thats her problem, at least he would be honest. She may be pissed, but he cant be faulted for her misconstrued wish to change his mind.

[Amber Lamps]

I forget, were you married when you had it done? Did you talk to her about it ahead of time if you were? If you did it without her consent, i firmly stick to my belief that you shouldnt have been married if you felt the need to protect yourself, or that you couldnt trust her not to trick you into it.

As for my current marriage, no, things arent all 100% together right now, not because we are protecting ourselves but because we simply havent gotten around to it, we are still very newly married, and since I didnt marry him for his money, I am in no rush. I am reluctant not because I dont trust HIM, but because I want to protect HIM from my possible bad credit from accounts that may go sour from my ex. :shrug: If I need something, he'll take care of me, and vice versa. As well, when we decide to have kids, we'll sit down and talk about it, and maybe one day, after a kid, he'll get snipped so I dont have to, but those would both be decisions we make together.

Wow talk about "reading only what you want"...:lol:

My wife had some damage which would make it "difficult" at best and dangerous in any case for her to get pregnant. She refused BC of any kind for religious reasons. After 3 miscarriages, I made the appointment, waited until a week prior to the operation and TOLD her this is what I was doing. I wanted a little girl more than anything in the world BUT apparently I'm not "selfish" enough to trade my wife's life for what I wanted so I had the tubes REMOVED and the ends clipped and cauterized. I didn't want any chance of a "miracle" or whatever. It seems that we do have one thing in common, I too believed that marriage is forever.

[Amber Lamps]

And for that, I am truly sorry for you Tig. Not everyone has that, but I am glad I got lucky and while not perfect, mines as good as I could wish it to be!

And stop trying to rile me, I caught ya on that one. ;-)




Thats her problem, at least he would be honest. She may be pissed, but he cant be faulted for her misconstrued wish to change his mind.


Yea but you think he should consult her, I say that he ALREADY talked to her about this before they got married. Getting fixed is the only intelligent/logical thing for a man that doesn't want children to do!

[Trip]

this thread is fail

[Amber Lamps]

this thread is fail

Yea I'm out.

[HurricaneHeather]

Yea I'm out.

:lol:

Funny since you are the one who has kept it going all day. Just like every other thread with any hints of controversy.

[askmrjesus]

Yea I'm out.

Brown noser.

JC

[tached1000rr]

My best friend had it the other way around, he wanted children, his wife stated before they married she wanted kids as well, 2 years into their marriage she confesses that she has never wanted or intended to have children she was taking birth control of some sort while he thought they were working on getting pregnant. It was the end of the marriage, they divorced in a civil manner. His heart was crushed but he's picked up the pieces and moved on although yet to find that "one" as of yet.

[Cory]

Dude Triple, I think we are all in agreement that you should probably not reproduce ... with that being said ... why would you NOT tell your wife before hand? :skep:

I mean if she "knew" going into the relationship/marriage that you didn't want kids then why hide it??

[Apoc]

Cory, obviously youve never had to reason with a wife/girlfriend...

[Trip]

I talked to A and she said she would cut my balls off completely if I did it without telling her, but that is for our situation. She said in this situation, she would understand if triple did it without asking because he fully informed her that he didn't want kids from the beginning, but wouldn't lie about it if asked to have kids and would tell her the truth at the time she brought up the kids question again.

[Amber Lamps]

I talked to A and she said she would cut my balls off completely if I did it without telling her, but that is for our situation. She said in this situation, she would understand if triple did it without asking because he fully informed her that he didn't want kids from the beginning, but wouldn't lie about it if asked to have kids and would tell her the truth at the time she brought up the kids question again.


This is absolutely no bullshit, my gf said almost exactly the same thing. Because the woman went into the situation knowing full well the op's stance on the matter, what he does to ensure his childlessness is a secondary consideration. If he gets on the pill/shot, uses condoms or gets fixed really makes no difference since the end result is the same.

[annawil]

You're joking and just trying to start an argument, right? At least I hope you are because I really don't understand how someone could be that dumb.

Let's get this straight. You've been saying since the beginning of your relationship that you don't want kids. She's been saying since the beginning of your relationship that she wants kids. You are BOTH trying to change the other person. Now you're saying she's trying to change you, and you're refusing to admit that you're trying to change her as well.

Grow up and tell your wife what your plans are before you do it instead of hiding in the closet like a 2 year old that's trying not too pee his pants in fear because a girl is going to yell at him.

If we're taking a vote on whether or not you should get the procedure done here then I vote that you go for it. You're obviously not mature enough to reproduce, let alone get married.

[askmrjesus]

Grow up and tell your wife what your plans are before you do it instead of hiding in the closet like a 2 year old that's trying not too pee his pants in fear because a girl is going to yell at him.


Ow. :lol:

She's spot on though.

If you can't discuss stuff like this with your own wife, finding validation from of the likes of, " I'm only banging her short term, 'cause all women are conniving whores who will scratch my gas tank, and I was never held as a child dude" ain't gonna help you.

Man the fuck up, and tell it like is.

JC

[Amber Lamps]

You're joking and just trying to start an argument, right? At least I hope you are because I really don't understand how someone could be that dumb.

Let's get this straight. You've been saying since the beginning of your relationship that you don't want kids. She's been saying since the beginning of your relationship that she wants kids. You are BOTH trying to change the other person. Now you're saying she's trying to change you, and you're refusing to admit that you're trying to change her as well.

Grow up and tell your wife what your plans are before you do it instead of hiding in the closet like a 2 year old that's trying not too pee his pants in fear because a girl is going to yell at him.

If we're taking a vote on whether or not you should get the procedure done here then I vote that you go for it. You're obviously not mature enough to reproduce, let alone get married.

Okay, I lied!!!:lol:

Wow! Are you the girl on the left or the girl on the right of your avy?

First of all, way to jump in! I admire the direct approach. Here's where I disagree. He is not trying to change her, in that for one he never wanted to get married in the first place, probably, at least partially, pursuant to this very subject. What I believe happened was that he "compromised" with this girl on marriage but reiterated to her that he did not want children. She obviously agreed to those terms and they were betrothed. Now sometime later, she has once again begun haranguing him for a child. She has either changed her mind about being okay without children or she only pretended to acquiesce to his desire to secure a marriage proposal. In either case, he has not asked her to not want children, indeed, she can want them all she desires. He has simply and consistently stated that he would not have any.

[R6Chick]

You're joking and just trying to start an argument, right? At least I hope you are because I really don't understand how someone could be that dumb.

Let's get this straight. You've been saying since the beginning of your relationship that you don't want kids. She's been saying since the beginning of your relationship that she wants kids. You are BOTH trying to change the other person. Now you're saying she's trying to change you, and you're refusing to admit that you're trying to change her as well.

Grow up and tell your wife what your plans are before you do it instead of hiding in the closet like a 2 year old that's trying not too pee his pants in fear because a girl is going to yell at him.

If we're taking a vote on whether or not you should get the procedure done here then I vote that you go for it. You're obviously not mature enough to reproduce, let alone get married.

Awesome!

[Amber Lamps]

Awesome!

Man why is it "awesome" for you girls to be so mean in you posts?:lol: If I were that nasty to someone in a thread, I'd have mods all over me...:lol::lol::lol:

[annawil]

We all had to listen to him go on and on about this over at CF. At first they were dating and she wanted to get married and have kids but he didn't. Then he caved and got married. She still wanted kids and he didn't. So far, she's been the more constant of the two of them. As soon as he admits that he's trying to change her just as much as he's accusing her of trying to change him things might just get a little easier for him. Hell, he might even that divorce he sounds like he so desperately wants but is unwilling to admit.

Tigger - for the record, you’ve gotten away with being much more mean to people than I’ve ever been…

[R6Chick]

Man why is it "awesome" for you girls to be so mean in you posts?:lol: If I were that nasty to someone in a thread, I'd have mods all over me...:lol::lol::lol:

I hang out with the sofla guys, nothing is off limits with them.

It's tough love!

[annawil]

[QUOTE=TIGGER;226176]
Wow! Are you the girl on the left or the girl on the right of your avy?
QUOTE]

Hey now...either I just got called manly or my friend Timmy just got called girly. :lol:

[Amber Lamps]

I hang out with the sofla guys, nothing is off limits with them.

It's tough love!

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[Amber Lamps]

We all had to listen to him go on and on about this over at CF. At first they were dating and she wanted to get married and have kids but he didn't. Then he caved and got married. She still wanted kids and he didn't. So far, she's been the more constant of the two of them. As soon as he admits that he's trying to change her just as much as he's accusing her of trying to change him things might just get a little easier for him. Hell, he might even that divorce he sounds like he so desperately wants but is unwilling to admit.

Tigger - for the record, you’ve gotten away with being much more mean to people than I’ve ever been…


Me be mean? Perish the thought! Besides, I'm rude, crude and douchey. People take offense to what I say even if it isn't directed at them personally.:lol: For what it's worth, I absolutely believe that he has a right to do whatever he wants to his own body without asking anyone's permission. As I pointed out, I'm surprised that women would take such a hard line as I'd imagine that most of you believe in a woman's "right" to have an abortion. In fact I'd guess that a certain percentage of you would support her if she were pregnant and wanted to abort if he didn't want her to. Just consider this to be a "preemptive" abortion, okay?:lol:

[Amber Lamps]

[QUOTE=TIGGER;226176]
Wow! Are you the girl on the left or the girl on the right of your avy?
QUOTE]

Hey now...either I just got called manly or my friend Timmy just got called girly. :lol:

Well the one on the right reminds me of the chick that tried to teach me to play golf back in the day.:lol:

[pauldun170]

"Mama look at me, wasn't I a GOOD boy?"

Dude you are a cunt sucking weasel of the first magnitude!!! :lol:

Again, I was kidding about tricking her into believing he wants kids but I honestly believe that he should get fixed.. you too btw!:lol:

:lol:

In a thread about Triples balls...

I don't mind be the one cunt sucker

[annawil]

Me be mean? Perish the thought! Besides, I'm rude, crude and douchey. People take offense to what I say even if it isn't directed at them personally.:lol: For what it's worth, I absolutely believe that he has a right to do whatever he wants to his own body without asking anyone's permission. As I pointed out, I'm surprised that women would take such a hard line as I'd imagine that most of you believe in a woman's "right" to have an abortion. In fact I'd guess that a certain percentage of you would support her if she were pregnant and wanted to abort if he didn't want her to. Just consider this to be a "preemptive" abortion, okay?:lol:

Entirely different situations, but, I highly doubt you'd find many people that would say a woman should go and have an abortion without first discussing it with her husband.....wait a minute, probably only the same people who would say it's a good idea for a man to go get a vasectomy without telling his wife. Legally acceptable and ethically acceptable are two very different things. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

[Amber Lamps]

:lol:

In a thread about Triples balls...

I don't mind be the one cunt sucker

Hey where have you been? It's gotten boring around here!

[Amber Lamps]

Entirely different situations, but, I highly doubt you'd find many people that would say a woman should go and have an abortion without first discussing it with her husband.....wait a minute, probably only the same people who would say it's a good idea for a man to go get a vasectomy without telling his wife. Legally acceptable and ethically acceptable are two very different things. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

Hey why are you being so logical with me?:lol: Okay, but getting a vasectomy isn't actually killing anything, is it? Besides, a fertilized egg can be argued to belong to both parties while an egg or sperm belongs to the individual.

[annawil]

Apparently you didn't read my first sentance. I said they were two entirely different situations, but whatever.

[Tmall]

Buttsex equals no babies...

[Apoc]

Entirely different situations,

Your right, its far more irresponsible to need an abortion than it is to prevent pregnancy in the first place. And he talked it out with her long ago, told her he didnt want kids, she wont listen, so i'd say Triple is doing the right thing...

But Nick Name is right, buttsecks = no babies.

[annawil]

I voted for him to get it done, and honestly thing he should. I simply think he’s going about getting what he wants in a conniving manner and wanting it done for the wrong reasons.

[Tmall]

I voted for him to get it done, and honestly thing he should. I simply think he’s going about getting what he wants in a conniving manner and wanting it done for the wrong reasons.

It would have been easier to say, "MY morals and ethics don't agree." wouldn't it?

[Homeslice]

I talked to A and she said she would cut my balls off completely if I did it without telling her, but that is for our situation. She said in this situation, she would understand if triple did it without asking because he fully informed her that he didn't want kids from the beginning, but wouldn't lie about it if asked to have kids and would tell her the truth at the time she brought up the kids question again.

Really depends "how" he said it, how firm he was, how old he was at the time, etc. For example, a 21-year old saying he doesn't want kids doesn't hold much weight, because in just a few years most 21-year olds become totally different people with different goals. So, the girl could have thought, "well that's just how he feels now, but he'll probably change later"

I am amazed at the ability of some people to do things like vasectomies and keep it a secret, to me it'd be almost like cheating, there's no way I could hold it in very long. Why even have a "relationship" with a girl if you need to keep these kinds of secrets. Unless she's just a fuck-buddy, not a true partner. Which it's sounding more and more like it's the case here.

[Tmall]

Well obviously since triple didn't marry her the minute they laid eyes on each other. And he obviously hasn't spent a million dollars on her, he must be a pedofile homo.

This is the kind of reasoning we're using to be internet psychiatrist?

You all should have your armchair quarter back degrees revoked ASAP!

[z06boy]

My ex wife and I got divorced due to her changing her mind about having kids. We discussed it and agreed that we didn't want any before hand.

Her best friend got pregnant...her sister got pregnant and then her cousin got pregnant.

I had gotten a vasectomy because I knew I didn't want any. She wanted me to get it reversed. I said no and one thing led to the next and we ended the marriage.

Part of the problem with us may have been that I was about 14 years older than her and she just felt different later and changed her mind. I didn't.

She's now remarried and has a little boy...good for her.

I'm remarried and the current wife still says no kids so we are doing fine. :lol:

She's only 10 years younger than me...hey that's closer. :lol:

I don't think that it's a good idea to get a vasectomy while married without first discussing it with your wife...just doesn't seem right. Man up and deal with the consequences.

[the chi]

Really depends "how" he said it, how firm he was, how old he was at the time, etc. For example, a 21-year old saying he doesn't want kids doesn't hold much weight, because in just a few years most 21-year olds become totally different people with different goals. So, the girl could have thought, "well that's just how he feels now, but he'll probably change later"

I am amazed at the ability of some people to do things like vasectomies and keep it a secret, to me it'd be almost like cheating, there's no way I could hold it in very long. Why even have a "relationship" with a girl if you need to keep these kinds of secrets. Unless she's just a fuck-buddy, not a true partner. Which it's sounding more and more like it's the case here.

My ex wife and I got divorced due to her changing her mind about having kids. We discussed it and agreed that we didn't want any before hand.

Her best friend got pregnant...her sister got pregnant and then her cousin got pregnant.

I had gotten a vasectomy because I knew I didn't want any. She wanted me to get it reversed. I said no and one thing led to the next and we ended the marriage.

Part of the problem with us may have been that I was about 14 years older than her and she just felt different later and changed her mind. I didn't.

She's now remarried and has a little boy...good for her.

I'm remarried and the current wife still says no kids so we are doing fine. :lol:

She's only 10 years younger than me...hey that's closer. :lol:

I don't think that it's a good idea to get a vasectomy while married without first discussing it with your wife...just doesn't seem right. Man up and deal with the consequences.

Two more male voices of reason. :dthumb:

Triple, I dont know how old you are, I dont knw if you truly want a divorce or not, but maybe the advice of a few guys who seem to have their heads on straight versus a few "emotional" women will hold more weight. Good luck man.

[Tmall]

I guess the course of action every one can agree on us divorce.


Didn't we have a thread like this a little while ago?

And weren't the people who were giving the "best" advice either divorced multiple times, married or engaged after knowing the so for about a year?


Do what you want triple. If you told her you didn't want kids. She is the one to deal with that. Not you. It may not be completely honest, but at least when she forgets her pill on purpose, you'll be covered.

[Apoc]

your calling Homeslice a voice of reason? Lol.

[LeeNetworX]

Dude -

you're = you are
your = your

[cuttle]

fast forward 20 years:

Triple and Triplewife are still married, she's on heavy duty depression meds for not being able to get pregnant. He finally spills the beans and tells her that he had a vasectomy 20 years ago...... she goes to the closet, takes a gun and shoots him in the groin, he bleeds to death.

5 month later the court declares her innocent.

The End

[RACER X]

get r done
tell her
live w/ the consequences

VOICE OF REASON

:wtfru: lol

[the chi]

your calling Homeslice a voice of reason? Lol.

In this instance, yes. :wink:


Perfect Cuttle, just perfect!

[Amber Lamps]

I voted for him to get it done, and honestly thing he should. I simply think he’s going about getting what he wants in a conniving manner and wanting it done for the wrong reasons.

Um he wants a vasectomy because he doesn't want children, what better reason is there?:idk: As far as being conniving, well that was started by me as a joke. I first suggested that he get it done behind his wife's back if he didn't have the "balls" to confront her. This whole "ethics" debate was started by myself and shouldn't be blamed on Triple.

[Amber Lamps]

Really depends "how" he said it, how firm he was, how old he was at the time, etc. For example, a 21-year old saying he doesn't want kids doesn't hold much weight, because in just a few years most 21-year olds become totally different people with different goals. So, the girl could have thought, "well that's just how he feels now, but he'll probably change later"

I am amazed at the ability of some people to do things like vasectomies and keep it a secret, to me it'd be almost like cheating, there's no way I could hold it in very long. Why even have a "relationship" with a girl if you need to keep these kinds of secrets. Unless she's just a fuck-buddy, not a true partner. Which it's sounding more and more like it's the case here.


Shit, I don't unload the entire wagon when I first meet a girl.:lol: There is all kinds of shit that a woman will never know about me unless she asks! For example, my current gf had no idea I was part black until she asked and that was after I had "been" with her a few times. :lol: Listen, all joking aside, I understand that you should discuss new decisions with your partner but all you guys claiming that you tell your "partners" everything are full of crap!:lol:

[the chi]

Shit, I don't unload the entire wagon when I first meet a girl.:lol: There is all kinds of shit that a woman will never know about me unless she asks! For example, my current gf had no idea I was part black until she asked and that was after I had "been" with her a few times. :lol: Listen, all joking aside, I understand that you should discuss new decisions with your partner but all you guys claiming that you tell your "partners" everything are full of crap!:lol:

Why? Because we dont operate like you do?

Just because you dont tell your partner anything unless she asks, doesnt mean everyone acts like that in a "relationship".

[Amber Lamps]

Two more male voices of reason. :dthumb:

Triple, I dont know how old you are, I dont knw if you truly want a divorce or not, but maybe the advice of a few guys who seem to have their heads on straight versus a few "emotional" women will hold more weight. Good luck man.

Rae, why is it that everyone that agrees with you is "a voice of reason"?:lol: I'd imagine that you discussed getting breast implants with your man before you did it. What if he would have said no? What then? Okay, I totally agree with you that he should discuss this with his wife. Fine. She's obviously going to say "no way". What then?:idk: Like I said before, this is a no win situation for Triple period. The end result is going to be divorce, of that I have zero doubt. He should do everything in his power to ensure that there won't be any children involved. If he doesn't get fixed while they're together, he had better make an appointment 5 minutes after they split up!

[Kaneman]

This shouldn't even be a discussion. Triple, amigo, its time to call a lawyer.
________
LovelyWendie99 (http://www.lovelywendie99.com/)

[the chi]

Rae, why is it that everyone that agrees with you is "a voice of reason"?:lol: I'd imagine that you discussed getting breast implants with your man before you did it. What if he would have said no? What then? Okay, I totally agree with you that he should discuss this with his wife. Fine. She's obviously going to say "no way". What then?:idk: Like I said before, this is a no win situation for Triple period. The end result is going to be divorce, of that I have zero doubt. He should do everything in his power to ensure that there won't be any children involved. If he doesn't get fixed while they're together, he had better make an appointment 5 minutes after they split up!

Perhaps its because I use logic, rationality, and morality in my arguments, versus telling someone its ok to lie to someone who chose to love, cherish, and honor, etc for marriage vows.

I dont use my past bad experience "in the hood" to tell people that because I get myself involved with lying cheating women that try to "trap" me into things, that all women are like that and its a good idea to lie to someone in a manner that could ruin her life versus just telling her like a man and her dealing or divorcing.

NAhhhhh....that couldnt be it.

[Homeslice]

Shit, I don't unload the entire wagon when I first meet a girl.:lol: There is all kinds of shit that a woman will never know about me unless she asks! For example, my current gf had no idea I was part black until she asked and that was after I had "been" with her a few times. :lol: Listen, all joking aside, I understand that you should discuss new decisions with your partner but all you guys claiming that you tell your "partners" everything are full of crap!:lol:

Never said I'd tell her "everything"...........For example, who gives a shit that you're part-Black? Who gives a shit that my mother's side is Scottish from like 250-300 years ago? That type of info is not important to a relationship. Holding back the fact that you eliminated your ability to reproduce is. :lol:

[Amber Lamps]

I guess the course of action every one can agree on us divorce.


Didn't we have a thread like this a little while ago?

And weren't the people who were giving the "best" advice either divorced multiple times, married or engaged after knowing the so for about a year?


Do what you want triple. If you told her you didn't want kids. She is the one to deal with that. Not you. It may not be completely honest, but at least when she forgets her pill on purpose, you'll be covered.

Exactly! It's always the marriage failures that know the most about marriage. :lol: Hell my marriage crashed but it was great until I left for over a year!!!:lol: Oh well... I sometimes think that women have had control over the baby making process for so long they are loathe to give it up.:lol: I just hope that they hurry up with this male birth control shot!!!:rockwoot:

[Switch]

When she and I started dating, I made it clear that I a) had no intention of ever getting married and b) did not want children. She broke me down on the first one, but I can't cave on kids. There was no lifestyle change between living together and being married. Having kids would fuck up everything, however. And things are pretty fucked up to begin with, so no thanks.

She's talking about kids more and more frequently these days; it may soon be time for drastic action. Time to cut the cord(s), so to speak.

Wow, you ARE numb, as your little quote above your avatar suggests.

[Switch]

Why? Because we dont operate like you do?

Just because you dont tell your partner anything unless she asks, doesnt mean everyone acts like that in a "relationship".

I'm glad most people don't. I was totally honest with Hannah about everything right up front. I pretty much told her everything that would typically deter someone with being with me, such as previous drug experimentation, being in jail, sexual history, etc.

A year and a half later, we are happy, in love, and engaged.

CHEW ON THAT!

[Amber Lamps]

This shouldn't even be a discussion. Triple, amigo, its time to call a lawyer.

You're right about that! Personally, I think that the idea of marriage is about dead. I really, really don't see the point in getting married if you aren't going to have children...:idk:

[Apoc]

Perhaps its because I use logic, rationality, and morality in my arguments, versus telling someone its ok to lie to someone who chose to love, cherish, and honor, etc for marriage vows.

I dont use my past bad experience "in the hood" to tell people that because I get myself involved with lying cheating women that try to "trap" me into things, that all women are like that and its a good idea to lie to someone in a manner that could ruin her life versus just telling her like a man and her dealing or divorcing.

NAhhhhh....that couldnt be it.


you dont seem to be able to get through your skull that he's been telling ehr since he met that he didnt want kids. That said, she really should have no say in the matter, as she knew long before marriage entered the picture.

Its not just him who chose to 'love, cherish, and honor', as far as im concerneed, he kept that promise better than she did.

Sure, we know Triple is gonna end up divorced, kids or not, because we'v e known Triple for years, he's selfish and a little ignorant.

But in this case he's right, it requires no 'mutual decision'. I think he should do it, then tell her immediately after that he did it, and let her decide what to do. Because like most women, when she finds out ahead of time that she cant win, she'll 'engineer' a pregnancy... Then triples stuck with a kid he doesnt want cuz she poked a hole in a condom or 'forgot' to take her pills.

Ive actually seen it happen to my uncle, thankfully it turned out ok for him, but im sure TMall remembers when he told us she was pregnant, the relationship was on the rocks and she stopped taking BC behind his back because she 'couldn't afford it'.... Yet she could somehow afford the child that came 9 months later.

Maybe some of us dont trust women because we've realized its not in our best interests, and not all, but most, are controlling beyond belief and willing to destroy a mans life to get what they want.

Ive met a few that werent like this. But its a small few, and their far between.

[the chi]

:lol: And you apparently are on too many drugs to have decent reading comprehension. Go back dude, read my posts. Then tell me what I cant get thru my head. Seriously.

This is the second time you are obviously not actually reading my posts for what they say in this thread. Here, I'll simplify, AGAIN.

I've not once advocated he not do it, or that he needs to have kids.

I've not once stated that he doesnt need to get a divorce.

I HAVE however stated that he should be a MAN, and tell her he is getting a vasectomy before he does it. If only to show that he does respect that he is in a marriage and that he isnt alone or isnt affecting anyone else by his decisions. If he has so much more class and more respect for the vows he took than the woman he is married to (according to you), it stands to reason that he woud do this.

Now hush if you cant get through YOUR skull and read before going off on someone else when you fail to comprehend very clearly stated argument.

[Apoc]

:lol: And you apparently are on too many drugs to have decent reading comprehension. Go back dude, read my posts. Then tell me what I cant get thru my head. Seriously.

This is the second time you are obviously not actually reading my posts for what they say in this thread. Here, I'll simplify, AGAIN.

I've not once advocated he not do it, or that he needs to have kids.

I've not once stated that he doesnt need to get a divorce.

I HAVE however stated that he should be a MAN, and tell her he is getting a vasectomy before he does it. If only to show that he does respect that he is in a marriage and that he isnt alone or isnt affecting anyone else by his decisions. If he has so much more class and more respect for the vows he took than the woman he is married to (according to you), it stands to reason that he woud do this.

Now hush if you cant get through YOUR skull and read before going off on someone else when you fail to comprehend very clearly stated argument.



YOUR THE ONE WHO DOESNT UNDERSTAND THAT IF HE TELLS HER BEFOREHAND, SHES GOING TO END UP PREGNANT BEFORE HE GETS IT DONE, WETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT.

Is it any easier for you to understand in CAPS?

[Archren]

YOUR THE ONE WHO DOESNT UNDERSTAND THAT IF HE TELLS HER BEFOREHAND, SHES GOING TO END UP PREGNANT BEFORE HE GETS IT DONE, WETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT.

Is it any easier for you to understand in CAPS?

Easy fix.. don't have sex.. or make sure he keeps the condoms in his possession the entire time. Just sayin... :lol:

[CrazyKell]

YOUR THE ONE WHO DOESNT UNDERSTAND THAT IF HE TELLS HER BEFOREHAND, SHES GOING TO END UP PREGNANT BEFORE HE GETS IT DONE, WETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT.

Is it any easier for you to understand in CAPS?

Or he could just not have sex with her. :idk: Novel idea huh?!

[Amber Lamps]

Perhaps its because I use logic, rationality, and morality in my arguments, versus telling someone its ok to lie to someone who chose to love, cherish, and honor, etc for marriage vows.

I dont use my past bad experience "in the hood" to tell people that because I get myself involved with lying cheating women that try to "trap" me into things, that all women are like that and its a good idea to lie to someone in a manner that could ruin her life versus just telling her like a man and her dealing or divorcing.

NAhhhhh....that couldnt be it.

Whatever, see you after your next divorce. It never ceases to amaze me how you can take the "moral high ground" with your background. You consistently try to come off as this sweet little angel that NEVER does anything wrong. Well I may be wrong and "morally bankrupt" but at least I am real and not just blathering off some PC bullshit rhetoric.

It's completely "logical" and "rational" to get fixed if you don't want children. It's completely irrational to even want to have children with someone who doesn't want to. In fact it's stupid. Women have children every day with men that they shouldn't or they murder them after ward. Maybe this decision shouldn't be put in the hands of a woman who has already demonstrated that her decision making skills aren't up to par? I mean, why would you want to marry someone whom you had to force into it? Why would you go into a "partnership" with someone who doesn't want children if you do, in the first place? I'm not saying everything is her fault but something needs to be done before a child is brought into this situation.

[Archren]

Or he could just not have sex with her. :idk: Novel idea huh?!

Oh, but that would be that common sense talking again. Shit, we gotta quit doing that. :lol:

[HurricaneHeather]

Oh, but that would be that common sense talking again. Shit, we gotta quit doing that. :lol:

Nah...we definitely need to argue about it for another 8 pages or so...

[Tmall]

Or he could just not have sex with her. :idk: Novel idea huh?!

Not have sex with his wife? No wonder we think you guys use it as a bargaining chip. :lol:

[Amber Lamps]

Never said I'd tell her "everything"...........For example, who gives a shit that you're part-Black? Who gives a shit that my mother's side is Scottish from like 250-300 years ago? That type of info is not important to a relationship. Holding back the fact that you eliminated your ability to reproduce is. :lol:

Hah! That was just an example bud but um you're from Cali right? Around here it could make a huge difference. When she told her Mom my name the first thing she asked her was if I was a NIGGER! :lol: Apparently "Lon" is a black name...:lol: Her family would completely disown her if they found out. According to her, she already has a cousin that is out of the family for the same reason.

Quick story.I guess when she was in High School, she was on the basketball team. Of course the only 2 black girls in the school were also on the team (hahaha). Well my gf made the mistake of bringing one of them home after practice and her Grandma was there. Her Grandmother told the rest of her family that she was a "nigger lover":lol: I shit you not!!! My gf told me right to my face that had she known I was part black there is NO WAY she would have started dating me!!!:lol:

[the chi]

Get a grip Apoc, we apparently dont live on the same planet, nice to see you kep your calm tho. :lol:

Easy fix.. don't have sex.. or make sure he keeps the condoms in his possession the entire time. Just sayin... :lol:

Or he could just not have sex with her. :idk: Novel idea huh?!

How about that huh ladies, the guys may need to give up what they want so they dont get tricked into having kids, cuz its all her fault if they get pregnant. His sperm had nothing to do with it.

Whatever, see you after your next divorce. It never ceases to amaze me how you can take the "moral high ground" with your background. You consistently try to come off as this sweet little angel that NEVER does anything wrong. Well I may be wrong and "morally bankrupt" but at least I am real and not just blathering off some PC bullshit rhetoric.

It's completely "logical" and "rational" to get fixed if you don't want children. It's completely irrational to even want to have children with someone who doesn't want to. In fact it's stupid. Women have children every day with men that they shouldn't or they murder them after ward. Maybe this decision shouldn't be put in the hands of a woman who has already demonstrated that her decision making skills aren't up to par? I mean, why would you want to marry someone whom you had to force into it? Why would you go into a "partnership" with someone who doesn't want children if you do, in the first place? I'm not saying everything is her fault but something needs to be done before a child is brought into this situation.


No Tig, I dont say I am perfect, never once. Nor have I ever said I dont make mistakes. I do however learn from them, and use that knowledge to better my life and not keep repeating my past. Try it sometime. It comes in handy.

And yes, I will admit to being PC, at least most of the time, but not only to I preach it, I practice it, so that doesnt even slightly offend me, as a matter of fact, thanks for the lovely compliment.

Murdering spouses and children has nothing to do with this topic at all. Nice try tho.

People get married every day, they love each other, they make compromises. Then they change, or they change their minds. The PC and morally polite thing to do would be to tell your spouse, versus run around, get pregnant on purpose, get fixed without telling them, lie, cheat, etc.

Edit* Oh yeah, Im not the least offended that my ethics, morals and the way I choose to live my ife offend you.

[z06boy]

Not have sex with his wife? No wonder we think you guys use it as a bargaining chip. :lol:

:lol: I have to admit...the ONLY ones posting "then don't have sex" are females.

[Amber Lamps]

I'm glad most people don't. I was totally honest with Hannah about everything right up front. I pretty much told her everything that would typically deter someone with being with me, such as previous drug experimentation, being in jail, sexual history, etc.

A year and a half later, we are happy, in love, and engaged.

CHEW ON THAT!

Hahaha! I think it all depends on what you have in the closet doesn't it? I suppose that you think that you know EVERYTHING about her too right? SUCKER!!!:lol:

[Archren]

:lol: I have to admit...the ONLY ones posting "then don't have sex" are females.

Because not having sex means she can't trick him into having a baby. :scratch: :skep:

Because it's really THAT FREAKING HARD to go without, to freaking tell her he wants a vasectomy..

Seriously, bunch of fucking pussies. Man the fuck up, face the woman and tell her. She doesn't like it, then it becomes HER problem because yes, there was the agreement in the beginning of the relationship, but at least HE would be absolved and totally free of blame, am I right? If she wants a divorce, WHOOP DEE FUCKING DOO!!! I say he'd be free of a shitty relationship then. What in the hell would be wrong with that?

Jesus Christ, y'all pretend to be big boys and all this shit, and you don't even have the balls to tell someone what you want to do. You have to lie and go behind their backs to do it. Holy wow.. chicken shit at it's best. :lol:

[Amber Lamps]

Easy fix.. don't have sex.. or make sure he keeps the condoms in his possession the entire time. Just sayin... :lol:

Now that's something I definitely agree with! He should absolutely stop having sex with her now!!!:panic:

Like I said before, in my case, my wife's religious convictions were always going to be a problem as far as a vasectomy went. So I made the appointment, waited the three months and a week prior, I told her what I was going to do. Sure, I'm a "coward" but I was not going to fight with her for three months about this. My mind was made up. As far as I was concerned it was the right thing to do. I won't apologize to anyone for the way I handled the situation. I did what I had to do to. Period.:idk:

[Homeslice]

Hah! That was just an example bud but um you're from Cali right? Around here it could make a huge difference. When she told her Mom my name the first thing she asked her was if I was a NIGGER! :lol: Apparently "Lon" is a black name...:lol: Her family would completely disown her if they found out. According to her, she already has a cousin that is out of the family for the same reason.

Quick story.I guess when she was in High School, she was on the basketball team. Of course the only 2 black girls in the school were also on the team (hahaha). Well my gf made the mistake of bringing one of them home after practice and her Grandma was there. Her Grandmother told the rest of her family that she was a "nigger lover":lol: I shit you not!!! My gf told me right to my face that had she known I was part black there is NO WAY she would have started dating me!!!:lol:

Ok, well...........That's right, you live in NC, right? And eastern NC to boot :lol:
My grandad down in SC used to use the N word too, but he stopped doing so about 20 years ago.

It's funny every time I go down south, how BLACK the black people are, I mean like INK black in some parts, because they just stick to their part of the city, and there's not much inter-marriage at all. Pretty fucking sad actually.

[Amber Lamps]

Or he could just not have sex with her. :idk: Novel idea huh?!

Okay no sex and no children...why are they married?:lol:

[Archren]

Okay no sex and no children...why are they married?:lol:

That's what we all said when they got married in the first place.. we saw it coming miles away. :lol:

[Amber Lamps]

Ok, well...........That's right, you live in NC, right? And eastern NC to boot :lol:
My grandad down in SC used to use the N word too, but he stopped doing so about 20 years ago.

It's funny every time I go down south, how BLACK the black people are, I mean like INK black in some parts, because they just stick to their part of the city, and there's not much inter-marriage at all. Pretty fucking sad actually.

Right? I mean half breeds are the shit!!! Who wouldn't want a mulatto grandchild?:lol:

[pauldun170]

Right? I mean half breeds are the shit!!! Who wouldn't want a mulatto grandchild?:lol:

My parents subscribed to that newsletter
:rockwoot:

Halfbreeds FTW

[Apoc]

Or he could just not have sex with her. :idk: Novel idea huh?!

im gonna say this as nicely as possible because your a friend and I love you like one. But 'People in glass houses shouldn't thrown stones'...

[Tmall]

Now that's something I definitely agree with! He should absolutely stop having sex with her now!!!:panic:

Like I said before, in my case, my wife's religious convictions were always going to be a problem as far as a vasectomy went. So I made the appointment, waited the three months and a week prior, I told her what I was going to do. Sure, I'm a "coward" but I was not going to fight with her for three months about this. My mind was made up. As far as I was concerned it was the right thing to do. I won't apologize to anyone for the way I handled the situation. I did what I had to do to. Period.:idk:


This!

If she would have secretly had an abortion, it would be her body and her business.

He wants to secretly do the same thing, and he's the debil!

[z06boy]

Because not having sex means she can't trick him into having a baby. :scratch: :skep:

I get the concept but just found it funny that it was ONLY females suggesting "going without it" and was responding to his comment.



Because it's really THAT FREAKING HARD to go without, to freaking tell her he wants a vasectomy..

Seriously, bunch of fucking pussies. Man the fuck up, face the woman and tell her. She doesn't like it, then it becomes HER problem because yes, there was the agreement in the beginning of the relationship, but at least HE would be absolved and totally free of blame, am I right? If she wants a divorce, WHOOP DEE FUCKING DOO!!! I say he'd be free of a shitty relationship then. What in the hell would be wrong with that?

Jesus Christ, y'all pretend to be big boys and all this shit, and you don't even have the balls to tell someone what you want to do. You have to lie and go behind their backs to do it. Holy wow.. chicken shit at it's best. :lol:

I guess I don't need to respond to the rest of your tough talk since it can't be directed at me anyways since I've already stated that I think he should tell her that he's planning to do this before actually doing it... plus the fact that I've already had a vasectomy and my wife knew it before we got married.

[Tmall]

I get the concept but just found it funny that it was ONLY females suggesting "going without it" and was responding to his comment.



I guess I don't need to respond to the rest of your "tough girl" talk since it can't be directed at me anyways since I've already stated that I think he should tell her that he's planning to do this before actually doing it... plus the fact that I've already had a vasectomy and my wife knew it before we got married.

I think he should tell her too. After she tries to "oops" him and it doesn't work of course.

Just think how much leverage you could have if she gets pregnant and you're fixed.

[Archren]

I get the concept but just found it funny that it was ONLY females suggesting "going without it" and was responding to his comment.



I guess I don't need to respond to the rest of your "tough girl" talk since it can't be directed at me anyways since I've already stated that I think he should tell her that he's planning to do this before actually doing it... plus the fact that I've already had a vasectomy and my wife knew it before we got married.

No, totally not directed at you. :lol: Just directed at others in general. :idk: I guess I don't think it's really that hard to stick up for your ideals in a relationship.. yes, it takes giving a little to make things work, but if you have to sacrifice major ideals and make yourself unhappy in the process, why do it? Marriage isn't supposed to be miserable, IMO... but then maybe I'm too much of an idealist in that case. :shrug:

[HurricaneHeather]

No, totally not directed at you. :lol: Just directed at others in general. :idk: I guess I don't think it's really that hard to stick up for your ideals in a relationship.. yes, it takes giving a little to make things work, but if you have to sacrifice major ideals and make yourself unhappy in the process, why do it? Marriage isn't supposed to be miserable, IMO... but then maybe I'm too much of an idealist in that case. :shrug:

How dare you be happy and make good decisions! You must just be naive. That's the only reasonable explaination really. If I'm unhappy, then it must not be possible for others to be happy.

Stupid miserable fuggers. :lol:

[pauldun170]

Seriously, bunch of (very naughty word) (naughty word). Man the (very naughty word) up, face the woman and tell her. She doesn't like it, then it becomes HER problem because yes, there was the agreement in the beginning of the relationship, but at least HE would be absolved and totally free of blame, am I right? If she wants a divorce, WHOOP DEE (very naughty word) (vague reference to potty humor...which is a slightly naughty word)!!! I say he'd be free of a (naughty word) relationship then. What in the (bad word) would be wrong with that?

(Naughty phrase), y'all pretend to be big boys and all this (naughty word), and you don't even have the (reference to naughty bits) to tell someone what you want to do. You have to lie and go behind their backs to do it. (expression of surprise blessed by religious person).. chicken (naughty word for doody) at it's best. :lol:

Summary
I agree
Tell the girl you are doing it
then
Go ahead and do it
then
deal with the aftermath

[CrazyKell]

im gonna say this as nicely as possible because your a friend and I love you like one. But 'People in glass houses shouldn't thrown stones'...


You have GOT to be fucking kidding me? You consider yourself my friend after this comment? :td:

My point is that he doesn't want children. He also doesn't want to be tricked into having children by her via an accidental pregnancy. The only way to stop this (before the vasectomy) would be to keep contraception in his possession at all times or STOP having sex with her UNTIL he gets the vasectomy. Why the hell would I advocate not having sex with his wife ever again? :plzdie:

Dude....you crossed a line. :gofurslf:

[pauldun170]

You have GOT to be fucking kidding me? You consider yourself my friend after this comment? :td:

My point is that he doesn't want children. He also doesn't want to be tricked into having children by her via an accidental pregnancy. The only way to stop this (before the vasectomy) would be to keep contraception in his possession at all times or STOP having sex with her UNTIL he gets the vasectomy. Why the hell would I advocate not having sex with his wife ever again? :plzdie:

Dude....you crossed a line. :gofurslf:

CrazyKell not to interrupt but there is always anal.

[Ninjakel]

and blowjobs

[z06boy]

I think he should tell her too. After she tries to "oops" him and it doesn't work of course.

Just think how much leverage you could have if she gets pregnant and you're fixed.

Friggen' bunches !!!!

[Archren]

and blowjobs

Yeah, but with that there's teeth! :panic: :lol:

[pauldun170]

Yeah, but with that there's teeth! :panic: :lol:

:tremble:

[z06boy]

Summary
I agree
Tell the girl you are doing it
then
Go ahead and do it
then
deal with the aftermath


Yep

[Archren]

:tremble:

Wow, that chick has some serious scoliosis. :lol:

[z06boy]

No, totally not directed at you. :lol: Just directed at others in general. :idk: I guess I don't think it's really that hard to stick up for your ideals in a relationship.. yes, it takes giving a little to make things work, but if you have to sacrifice major ideals and make yourself unhappy in the process, why do it? Marriage isn't supposed to be miserable, IMO... but then maybe I'm too much of an idealist in that case. :shrug:

Cool...we're good and I agree.:lol

[Archren]

Cool...we're good and I agree.:lol

Yeah sorry, inability to suck it up kinda makes me twitch just a bit (and brings out the potty mouth). :whistle:

[z06boy]

Yeah sorry, inability to suck it up kinda makes me twitch just a bit (and brings out the potty mouth). :whistle:

:lol: :cheers:

[R6Chick]

Because not having sex means she can't trick him into having a baby. :scratch: :skep:

Because it's really THAT FREAKING HARD to go without, to freaking tell her he wants a vasectomy..

Seriously, bunch of fucking pussies. Man the fuck up, face the woman and tell her. She doesn't like it, then it becomes HER problem because yes, there was the agreement in the beginning of the relationship, but at least HE would be absolved and totally free of blame, am I right? If she wants a divorce, WHOOP DEE FUCKING DOO!!! I say he'd be free of a shitty relationship then. What in the hell would be wrong with that?

Jesus Christ, y'all pretend to be big boys and all this shit, and you don't even have the balls to tell someone what you want to do. You have to lie and go behind their backs to do it. Holy wow.. chicken shit at it's best. :lol:

Hahahahahahaha.

It's like buying a car without telling your spouse because you think they wouldn't want you to buy it.

[Amber Lamps]

Friggen' bunches !!!!

Yea my wife's lawyer had very little to say during the divorce!:lol:

[Rsv1000R]

Just for the record, I have spoken with my wife about having a vasectomy. She said she would divorce me if I went through with it.

Divorce isn't really an option for either of us right now. It would turn our lives upside down and could literally leave one or both of us homeless.

So, what you going to do?

[z06boy]

Yea my wife's lawyer had very little to say during the divorce!:lol:

Well at least you didn't kill her when you first heard the great news. :lol

Man that had to be a trip to deal with for both of you but you definitely seem like the kind of guy that can jump up...dust yourself off and say...NEXT !!!!


:lol: :lol:

[Amber Lamps]

Hahahahahahaha.

It's like buying a car without telling your spouse because you think they wouldn't want you to buy it.

Ha I had a girlfriend do that once. She hid the truck at her parents and drove her old truck back and forth to our house.:lol:

[pauldun170]

Just for the record, I have spoken with my wife about having a vasectomy. She said she would divorce me if I went through with it.

Divorce isn't really an option for either of us right now. It would turn our lives upside down and could literally leave one or both of us homeless.

Just get it over with. If it's amicable it shouldn't be too expensive and if it's a living arrangement thing (neither of you can afford to live on your own) then you guys can work something out while you both get on your feet.

Just get it done.

the longer you wait, the older you get...

Life is short.

[Homeslice]

Divorce isn't really an option for either of us right now. It would turn our lives upside down and could literally leave one or both of us homeless.

Lol...........glad to see that the important things are keeping you together :lol:

[Apoc]

Just for the record, I have spoken with my wife about having a vasectomy. She said she would divorce me if I went through with it.


Yet she knew before they married.

Add in financial difficulty, another reason to need to go 'hunting with friends for a week' in the near future... Bills are piled high, and she wants a child. A real genius. Like reasoning with the unreasonable.

[Amber Lamps]

Well at least you didn't kill her when you first heard the great news. :lol

Man that had to be a trip to deal with for both of you but you definitely seem like the kind of guy that can jump up...dust yourself off and say...NEXT !!!!


:lol: :lol:

Yea it was surreal... I got off the plane, took a cab to my on post housing. Noticed all of the cars around the house..walked in, two MPs and a house full of people,wife looked like a lower case "b". She said, "I'm sorry"... I looked at her, picked up my duffel. Walked out, got a ride from a MP to the barracks. Got HAMMERED!!!:lol:

[the chi]

a) it probably won't be amicable

b) if we have to live separately, we will have to secure less expensive housing, but in this market we will not be able to sell our current home

c) she can leave once I can afford to refinance the home by myself

d) which means she can never leave

e) and I hate kids


Sounds like my divorce. Is amazing what you can do if you have to man, thats all I have to say. If you're young, you can bounce back from bad credit if you dump the house, and in these economic times, people are very willing to do that or attempt to short sell, etc. Or, if you plan on staying in the area, get the divorce, have her sign over the title to you, get roommates.

[Trip]

Wow, this thread got far worse. :lol: I love it. Makes me so happy I take my relationship advice from TWFix.

[HurricaneHeather]

We just need a couple more posts to get to 200...we can do it folks! Quick, someone get butt hurt!

[pauldun170]

a) it probably won't be amicable

b) if we have to live separately, we will have to secure less expensive housing, but in this market we will not be able to sell our current home

c) she can leave once I can afford to refinance the home by myself

d) which means she can never leave

e) and I hate kids

Prepare for divorce
Get the vasectomy asap.

[pauldun170]

200th post FTW!!!

[Tmall]

Hey triple,

How many times have you been married?

How many time did you accidentally have a baby?

Knowing the answers to both of those already.. I would say triple may not be in a healthy relationship, but he's doing a lot better than the people trying to convince him of what he should be doing.

[Trip]

Hey triple,

How many times have you been married?

How many time did you accidentally have a baby?

Knowing the answers to both of those already.. I would say triple may not be in a healthy relationship, but he's doing a lot better than the people trying to convince him of what he should be doing.

oh shit, this should be good, someone make some popcorn and we will get AMJ to turn it into enough for everyone.

[Archren]

Hey triple,

How many times have you been married?

How many time did you accidentally have a baby?

Knowing the answers to both of those already.. I would say triple may not be in a healthy relationship, but he's doing a lot better than the people trying to convince him of what he should be doing.

Right, sorry, forgot y'all are perfect, infallible humans who always make the right choices the first time around. :lol:

[Particle Man]

If you're not gonna discuss it with her like someone in a marriage should, I'm sure there will be several volunteers here that will kick you in the nuts hard enough to make the vasectomy unnecessary.

redflip

[Trip]

If you're not gonna discuss it with her like someone in a marriage should, I'm sure there will be several volunteers here that will kick you in the nuts hard enough to make the vasectomy unnecessary.

redflip

Apparently he isn't allowed stupid decisions and poor choices, while others are alotted such mistakes as "learning" experiences.

[Tmall]

Apparently he isn't allowed stupid decisions and poor choices, while others are alotted such mistakes as "learning" experiences.

With some of the stories and excuses I've read from this lot over the years, half of them should be phd'ed in "experience".

Yet, its a learning experience or a mistake when they do it. And if you were to bring any of it up right now, you'd be called an insensitive immature prick/pussy..

[unknownroad]

Divorce isn't really an option for either of us right now. It would turn our lives upside down

Dude, I've never gotten the impression that your life was right-side up to begin with :lol Your relationship posts are like a slow-motion Jerry Springer marathon.

It's time to fake your own death. Find some backwater town that doesn't have their birth and death certificates in the same database yet, grab a name off a tombstone, and start fresh. And then get fixed BEFORE you start huntin' poon again. :nono:

[the chi]

I would have to buy her out of the house, she wouldn't just sign it over to me after contributing to the mortgage herself these past two years. I can't afford to do that.

I may make it sound like I want out of the relationship, but that isn't necessarily the case. All of the things I love about her are what convinced me to go through with the marriage. Having kids is going too far, however.

In her defense, she knows we aren't ready right now. She wants a kid in two to three years. I'm met with anger and tears when I remind her that I never want children, so now when she starts in with the "when-we-have-a-baby-this, when-we-have-a-baby-that," I just reply, "we have dogs."


Ah I see...you know, if she married you knowing you wont have kids, she may just change her mind again...women do that! :lol: I wish you luck man! I prefer the dogs, cats and ferrets approach myself...

[pauldun170]

I would have to buy her out of the house, she wouldn't just sign it over to me after contributing to the mortgage herself these past two years. I can't afford to do that.

I may make it sound like I want out of the relationship, but that isn't necessarily the case. All of the things I love about her are what convinced me to go through with the marriage. Having kids is going too far, however.

In her defense, she knows we aren't ready right now. She wants a kid in two to three years. I'm met with anger and tears when I remind her that I never want children, so now when she starts in with the "when-we-have-a-baby-this, when-we-have-a-baby-that," I just reply, "we have dogs."

So...
What your saying is that you will be having children?

vasectomy = divorce and you say you do not want divorce.

She knows YOU are not ready and is hoping you will come\cum around.

Since you are scared of divorce I vote "baby girl".

[Trip]

I would have to buy her out of the house, she wouldn't just sign it over to me after contributing to the mortgage herself these past two years. I can't afford to do that.

I may make it sound like I want out of the relationship, but that isn't necessarily the case. All of the things I love about her are what convinced me to go through with the marriage. Having kids is going too far, however.

In her defense, she knows we aren't ready right now. She wants a kid in two to three years. I'm met with anger and tears when I remind her that I never want children, so now when she starts in with the "when-we-have-a-baby-this, when-we-have-a-baby-that," I just reply, "we have dogs."

Think you are screwed dude. No good way around it. You can either buy some more time with her or let the shit hit the fan soon. Then there is the just cave into her demands, but that's no life for you either. It's a shame no matter how you look at it.

[Homeslice]

Apparently he isn't allowed stupid decisions and poor choices, while others are alotted such mistakes as "learning" experiences.

The difference is, he posts questions like these even though he's already made up his mind.

[Trip]

The difference is, he posts questions like these even though he's already made up his mind.

He just asked questions about the procedure at the start of the thread, we threw in the drama.

[Amber Lamps]

He just asked questions about the procedure at the start of the thread, we threw in the drama.

Guilty!:lol: That's what I tried to say too! All this drama is my fault but to my credit, I did initially try to give him information and advice on the procedure...:lol:

[Destitute]

Preventing my wife from having children is my way of "going green."

Noble intentions, I assure you.

If it hasn't already been said, having a vasectomy will not prevent your wife from having children. It might prevent them from being yours.

[Trip]

Guilty!:lol: That's what I tried to say too! All this drama is my fault but to my credit, I did initially try to give him information and advice on the procedure...:lol:

It's never just one person's fault, but you made a damn good effort into proving that wrong. :lol:

[Particle Man]

Dude, if it turns green you have more to worry about than kids :lol:

If it hasn't already been said, having a vasectomy will not prevent your wife from having children. It might prevent them from being yours.good point :eek:

[MILK]

I would get the vasectomy then tell her. Chances are she's bluffing about the divorce anyway. After all, she knew before saying I DO.. If not, well splitting up a bunch of STUFF is small potatoes over trying to do it when there is a kid involved..

[Amber Lamps]

It's never just one person's fault, but you made a damn good effort into proving that wrong. :lol:

Ha whatever, you said basically the same thing I did but for some reason no one jumped on you hmmmmmm......:lol:

[Amber Lamps]

I would get the vasectomy then tell her. Chances are she's bluffing about the divorce anyway. After all, she knew before saying I DO.. If not, well splitting up a bunch of STUFF is small potatoes over trying to do it when there is a kid involved..

Omg where the hell were you?:lol::lol::lol: I swear I said the same shit!:lol:

[Trip]

Ha whatever, you said basically the same thing I did but for some reason no one jumped on you hmmmmmm......:lol:

That's cause you go out of your way to make people angry, I only sometimes do that. :lol:

[Sixxxxer]

That's cause you go out of your way to make people angry, I only sometimes do that. :lol:

And your the Admin so you can make people go away at will :lol

[Trip]

And your the Admin so you can make people go away at will :lol

you really have to piss me off to make you go away, mostly i just change your name or avatar.

[Particle Man]

you really have to piss me off to make you go away, mostly i just change your name or avatar.

that's because fuckery is often more effective than douchebagery

[Amber Lamps]

That's cause you go out of your way to make people angry, I only sometimes do that. :lol:


Hahaha whatever! You used to be worse than me before you put on the "admin" hat! Man we used to get in some scraps! Now most of the "non-pc" people are gone or barely post anymore. I wonder if they realize how boring it's going to be once they run us all off?:lol::lol::lol:

It'll be just like the old forum;

OP: I think everyone should always were 100% gear!

1. Yep!

2. I agree

3. Me too

4. Definitely

5. Plus one million

6. U-Huh!

7. Etc....

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[Trip]

Hahaha whatever! You used to be worse than me before you put on the "admin" hat! Man we used to get in some scraps! Now most of the "non-pc" people are gone or barely post anymore. I wonder if they realize how boring it's going to be once they run us all off?:lol::lol::lol:


lol, yeah, I still like to fuck off, just not as much anymore.

[Sixxxxer]

Your getting old you Fuck :)

[Amber Lamps]

lol, yeah, I still like to fuck off, just not as much anymore.

Oh well, what are ya gonna do? I guess you have to grow up sometime!:lol:

[Apoc]

I would get the vasectomy then tell her. Chances are she's bluffing about the divorce anyway. After all, she knew before saying I DO.. If not, well splitting up a bunch of STUFF is small potatoes over trying to do it when there is a kid involved..


Ahhh, this is why I love this woman....

This and she's extremely fucking hot...

She can even keep the kid, im sure he's cool. Husbands gotta go though.

[Switch]

YOUR THE ONE WHO DOESNT UNDERSTAND THAT IF HE TELLS HER BEFOREHAND, SHES GOING TO END UP PREGNANT BEFORE HE GETS IT DONE, WETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT.

Is it any easier for you to understand in CAPS?

You're....

dumb.

[Apoc]

You're....

dumb.

You're....

a bag licker.

You're possibly....

a fag too.

[Tmall]

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff244/ubercomments/funny/641.gif

[Amber Lamps]

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff244/ubercomments/funny/641.gif

Man Linda Carter was hot back in the day!!!

[Apoc]

hey, no fair, those were two seperate posts. They were more offensive and to the point that way...

[MILK]

Ahhh, this is why I love this woman....

This and she's extremely fucking hot...

She can even keep the kid, im sure he's cool. Husbands gotta go though.

Awww.. :) I'm blushing!!

[pauldun170]

Ahhh, this is why I love this woman....

This and she's extremely fucking hot...

She can even keep the kid, im sure he's cool. Husbands gotta go though.

.....

[pauldun170]

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff244/ubercomments/funny/641.gif

:lol:

right click> save as

[MILK]

.....

:aide:

[pauldun170]

:aide:

I've been itching to use that one

[MILK]

I've been itching to use that one

And I used the :aide: because I thought it was funny!! :lol

[Trip]

You're....

a bag licker.

You're possibly....

a fag too.

This smiley was made for him:

:gayk:

[racedoll]

I would get the vasectomy then tell her. Chances are she's bluffing about the divorce anyway. After all, she knew before saying I DO.. If not, well splitting up a bunch of STUFF is small potatoes over trying to do it when there is a kid involved..

Damn this is a long thread!

I agree but also disagree. I don't think you should get it done without her knowledge. And telling her just isn't enough. She should be involved from start to finish.

For now, she isn't going to divorce you. You just said neither of you can afford it.

I don't really want kids and neither does Erik but I would feel completely betrayed if he would do it and not tell me until after the fact. For some reason I feel the need to be involved, even if I didn't agree with his decision at least I know would know all the details up front.

[Rider]

Insurance covered it and it was a very easy procedure. My doctor required that my wife sigh a form agreeing to the procedure. She even sat in the room and watched the doctor do the procedure. It's really no big deal. A day or 2 off of work and you are good as gold. You can even get back to doing the deed in less than a week after but you still need to use protection for a little while.