Whipped Butter
 

Why is this crap in my fridge?

I sure as hell didn't buy it. What's the goddamn point? Butter with air in it. Fucking Air-Butter. It takes a cubic foot of the shit to make anything taste like it has actual fucking butter on it. WHY? Probably goes great with helium filled marmalade.

Who invented this shit? Assholes, that's who.

"Hey, I have a great idea! Let's whip the butter, so people who are born without wrist-bones can eat toast!"

Well fuck that, fuck them, and fuck whipped butter.

Butter comes in sticks motherfuckers, deal with it.

JC

The whipped butter thats in my fridge is hard as a mother fucking rock. I never use it because it takes a fucking ice pic to remove any of it.

Yeah, air butter. But isnt butter 90 pct water?

In North Korea maybe.

Cream and salt.

JC

I love whipped butter.

Hi Epyon, and welcome to the I hate whipped butter thread.

JC

Actually, I buy premium whipped butter and leave it out. A tub rarely lasts a week, and it'll keep at room temp in all but the hottest weather for two weeks.

I keep stick butter in the fridge for measuring and cooking.

I wish I could find a woman that I can settle down with and can churn my butter. So many woman lacking upper body strength.

You should take a trip to St. Jacobs, Ontario, and find yourself a nice Mennonite girl.

Don't have to go that far. I'm surrounded by Mennonite farms.

Yeah, but it's New York.

NEW YORK.

Come on.

When do they harvest the Mennonites?

JC

October(fest).

Rumspringa!!

And he sang shang a lang and he ran with a gang a doowap a doobie do yay

:dvrofl:

Ok...this really did make me LOL in the office !! I guess that's why they keep taking chit off of the computer around here. :rofl:

So, why is it in your fridge?

Ours comes in cylinders.

doesn't that screw up your spark plugs?

First people start paying for WATER - now their paying for AIR?!

Get the fuck off my lawn!

Ever had an Aero chocolate bar?

Hell no - I like MILK in my chocolate, not air. ;)

Air is in pretty much every candy.

Throw that shit out, you lazy bastard.

but not as a selling point...I'm not buying air, I'm buying candy, it just comes with air. Whipped/Aero/Etc is selling you air with your whatever...

But I'm just old and grouchy...

My wife probably uses it and I would get in trouble.

I noticed that. The only reason I didn't say anything in all time I spent at your place, is that you never once ran out of bacon.

Mrs. askmrjesus was at a work function with food attached. Her boss was shitting brick shaped kittens, because it had sat unopened and (OMG!) out of the fridge for an entire hour...She rescued it from the Lysol influenced paranoia that seems to pervade American thinking these days. Fucking idiots running around with little spray bottles, trying to sanitize the whole damn planet.

I know, right? WTF?

JC

A true man understands the importance of hot and cold running butter and bacon.

Damn now I definitely have to get another customer meeting set up in south Jersey :lol


Mmmmmm bacon

pick me up on the way :)

:lol we will show up and ask to be adopted :lmao:

we will bring beer, they have to keep us :lol:

Good call, good call.

Come on down, I'll put your asses to work. :lol:

JC

A springtime celebration of meat, grease, beer, music, motorcycles, musclecars, and carpentry.

My GF is gone, so we're free to play the drums at 3:00 am again...I have free run of the joint. Sounds like a plan.

I will see what I can do about getting down there!

It will be just like Woodstock.

No, better, Meatstock! Wait, that doesn't sound right. We need hippie chicks.

Avatard, get on that.

JC

I stopped using butter/margarine almost 8 years ago. Shit is garbage. Use olive oil instead.

MMM, hot Olive Oiled pancakes.

Shut the fuck up.

Butter, motherfucker. Deal with it.

You put that shit on a baked potato? Yuck...

Olive oil on my waffles? Olive oil on my popcorn? Olive oil in my grits? What the hell is wrong with you?

He's extra virgin.

JC

Butter. It's been making food taste awesome forever, why fuck with that? Like that goddamn margarine travesty, everybody said to start using that abominable shit and that it was healthy for me. Well the jokes on you asshole! Apparently that disgusting petroleum-based slime cause cancer or some such. But the guys like me who kept eating creamy, delicious cow extract are just fucking fine! That's why I throw packets of real sugar at all the health food nuts when I get the chance.

Syrup?:lol:

I usually just eat it without putting anything on it...sour cream is OK, though.

Put syrup on the waffles.

Eat the popcorn plain.

Grits are nasty...butter or no butter.

Anything else?

next thing you know he will be bad mouthing bacon and we cant have that :lol:

Sex: Missionary, with the lights off.

JC

Nah he's saving himself for marriage.

be like some of the crazy hassidic jews and have a sheet between you with a hole cut in it :lol:

Nah, I have a hunch he might be the hole in the wall kinda guy, if you get my drift.

a la porkys :lol:

Those guys were looking at girls they wanted to bang. I'm not sure how but I think this is different...

Yeah, I'm getting that too.

He'd like to go to Porkys', but the hole is unclean.

JC

I guess the hole has bacon grease around it or something? Fucking commie.