Why are new parents such dickbags?
 

I want to post this on facebook, but I have so many new parent friends, that I would just get hammered with asinine comments by these dickbags...

Why does having a baby for two days automatically make them fucking experts on child raising? Congrats, you barely can call yourself a parent, you definitely are the best fucking parent ever you stupid douche. You totally have the right to call out other parents who have been doing it for freakin years.

Please, if I ever have kids and do this on facebook, kick me in the nuts.

Not aimed at anyone on here, it's some local people I know.

So you are afraid to post this on FB because some will disagree with you?


Even beyond your peeve, how about all of those people (here, FB, real life, wherever) that don't even have kids making comments about how others raise theirs, etc?

Well some of them on facebook don't do this, I am more afraid of upsetting some good friends/family that aren't doing this, than upsetting the dickbag ones. I have had a lot of friends and family that recently had children, my facebook page was filled with baby pics til I started ignoring a large portion of them.

As far as childless people, it depends on what they are ranting and raving about. Since I am childless, I don't like to put up with little bastard kids in adult locations, I can tolerate kids being there, but if the little dipshit is going beserk and you continue doing what you are doing like nothing is wrong, that will drive me a bit crazy. I understand some things you fully won't understand til you have to put up with the little bastards 24/7 though, but common courtesy is something we all should understand.

thats been out a while along w/ common sense.

Common courtesy. Yup, it's dead. Like all the people who have their cell phone ring tone cranked to 11, while in public places. Like the guy sitting next to me here at the dealership, while I'm waiting for my car, who has texts coming in 3x a minute with his ringer all the way up.

Good lord, I want to beat my old cube neighbor cause of the phone volume thing. Smartphones definitely have made some things worse and high volume + multiple notifications is one of them. Hearing birds chirping, DROIDDD!!, bells ringing, and piano playing 500 times a minute got really fucking annoying.

We're talking Android, with the Star Trek 'whistle' sound effect. Makes me wish for a crowbar.

I think the "DROOOOIDDD!!!!" is the worst....especially when its full-volume.

Also, equally annoying, is the Outlook meeting reminders that go off on iPads, iPhones, Android tablets, PC tablets, laptops, and desktop computers every 15 minutes throughout most of an office floor.

Honestly even if they are parents of years, doens't make them experts... like listen asshole, your kid is an asshole so therefore your input is an input of an asshole and should be disregarded.

Hell, if we are going to count everybody's opinion, than even people without kids should be totally 100% in the right to give opinioins. Just because you reproduced doesn't mean you know anything.

Like Trip my FB is lighting up with baby crap...but GRANDBABY crap.

Being 40 I'm like in that sweet spot between friends that waited a LONG time to have kids, till they were well established, and those that had no common sense and had kids when they were just 18 or so. ONE parent is usually good people. But most times they chose a total dumbass to fuck. (Rhianna & Chris Brown) and the child comes out with ALL of the traits of the dumbass.

And if there's anything worse than mid-20's yuppie ass parents, it's those teen moms that think they're the first person that had to go a night without sleep because of a baby. Yet somehow they were born brilliant and their parents are morons who think they can't do shit.

"OMG this is like SO not fair....going on like 2hrs of sleep in 2 days THIS HAS TO END"

Yeah...it does. But if I'm right about you, it'll end JUST as you're knocked up by baby daddy # 2

Now grandparents, my friends are seeing that their idiot child can't possibly do this. But being they possess the stupid jean from their other parent along with the hardheaded jean, they push the one good parent THEY have in their corner away in an attempt to "do it on their own".

I've picked up some odd habits on the corporate crapper in that I won't start dropping until my reading material is ready so I get my phone ready.
I ALWAYS have my phone on vibrate.
Well, yesterday I had the phone off all morning because my battery was low and I forgot my charger. It just so happens that I had a crap mate in the stall next door. Extremely rare nowadays since they are relocating everyone to other buildings and my team of 6 is one of the last few folks on the floor. We went from hundreds of people to maybe 15 people across 3 departments in huge space. You would never know that any of the other teams are there.
It is dead silent. So quiet that you end up whispering for no reason.

So I turn on my phone with Mr. Mystery of unknown department who shall be known as shiny black shoes and "DROOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!!!!"
Fortunately he didn't have to worry about shitting his pants since...well you know.

True Story

That gives me an idea....

Oh no......

Just need some silver spray paint, two empty tissue boxes and some old tube socks....

Those are usually the same ones who post happy heart bullshit whenever their kid farts and post a zillion links to organic baby food and shit.

I have two kids, and I absolutely agree with you on this. Common courtesy is, unfortunately, not that common anymore. I don't mind if an infant/baby is crying as long as I can see the parent making a concerted effort to soothe the child or remove them from the situation. I know in some instances a parent's ability to do either is limited (on a plane, for instance.. can't get up and move around like we used to), but if I see them making an effort I might be a little bothered, but I probably won't say anything because I know sometimes that is outside of their control.

The ignoring the problem and letting a child run amok/throw a tantrum without making much or any effort? Or bringing a child that isn't old enough/behaved enough to a setting that requires proper behavior? That makes me want to choke a bitch. My kids are 7 and 5, they know "the look", and generally they are pretty well behaved in a public setting. Granted they're old enough and socialized enough now to know better than to act a fool in public, but sadly I have seen kids their age that are little fucking demons.

I def agree with that. Since I have 2 small crumbsuckers now I know we cannot or should not go to certain places, mostly restaurants, so were relegated to places like bennigans, fridays etc....

We went out sat night, turns out it was an insane wait and thomas was getting antsy, we wound up leaving before we even got a table. We know we have a narrow window of opportunity withthe kids and try to make the most of it. They are usualy prety good and we never had to get up and leave because of a tantrum. Sometimes I have to let thomas wander around but I am right behind him so hes not going up to other tables and bothering people.

If I had a kid and it was throwing a fit, Id just leave .em. Find a spot to hide and watch them freak out. Thatll teach the little shit not to throw a fit. High five.

Your mastery of child development and psychology is obviously advanced, as you've figured it all out. You should have many children, should you ever find a wife or male partner who is willing to adopt with you.

Thanks. I think highly of myself. Theres no better love than tough love and not being there for them truly shows you care.

Spoken like the father of 47% of today's children

That would be more like, "Yeah, I've got a few children somewhere. Haven't seen them in 15 years and never paid a cent for them."

Says it all ;)

Hey. I always hear men should cry more. What better way than to leave a little boy so he has something to cry about when hes a man. Hell he could become rich off that singing about or.some shit.

All yall love skanks. Daddy issues can I get a what what.

Cry? Hell no. I told him to take a hike when he showed up at my door, pulling the "Here's your long lost dad" routine.

mkay..

My 3 year old manages more coherent conversations.

My I suggest Decaff?

I love how serious you guys are.