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Old 08-07-2012, 05:17 PM   #1
askmrjesus
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Default And just like that, it was gone!

It took me a while.

Damn near a year in fact.

My wife has chickens. It wasn't my idea. I just came home one day and there were chickens all over the fucking place.

So, I did the husband thing and built a house for them. A "coop" I'm told is what they call them.

Great eggs. One problem.

One of those chickens is not a chicken at all. It's a rooster. One of those fancy, city-girl roosters, with the crazy feathers and shit. Noisy fucker. Early riser, and it crows all fucking day.

Put it on Craigslist, I say.

Find a home for it, I say

Let's just eat it, I say.

But no. My polite asking turned to pleading, and then to begging.

Then this morning, a new plan was hatched...

The wife just got a new (used) F650 BMW. It needs some work.

"Sorry, I'm on strike".

"What?"

"I'm not turning anymore wrenches on any of your bikes, until the rooster is gone".

Just got a call. Rooster is getting picked up in 15 minutes.

Sleeping in tomorrow, if she doesn't kill me in my sleep first.

JC
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Old 08-07-2012, 05:20 PM   #2
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Lol, awesome plan

I would of already turned it into jerk chicken and fed it to the wife before I told her what I did.
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Old 08-07-2012, 05:25 PM   #3
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Lol, awesome plan

I would of already turned it into jerk chicken and fed it to the wife before I told her what I did.
You have no idea how many times I came close to blowing that thing's head off.

JC
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Old 08-07-2012, 08:17 PM   #4
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g/f had chickens up north. 4 of them wound up being roosters. not only were they loud, they did not like me in the coop that i built for them at all. I was so glad when they were gone. her's were huge fucking things with serious spikes on them. i didn't miss them at all.

bad part is once the roosters are gone the s start coming around. hint, shoot the before you have to console wife, after her finding just legs and feet of a chicken. not sure why but s leave the legs when they eat a bird.
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Old 08-07-2012, 08:18 PM   #5
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forgot about those graphics, funny as hell when you don't expect it. LOL
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Old 08-07-2012, 09:45 PM   #6
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My dad got rid of his chickens and roosters by putting an ad in the thrifty nickel. One of the biggest mistakes in his life. He got rid of them with the first caller and had literally more than 50 calls from different people for the 1 week the ad ran.

So if you just want to sale something fast. Make sure it's chickens.
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Old 08-08-2012, 04:53 AM   #7
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Should have gone with guinea fowl.
They're great egg producers, and they don't crow.
Not to say they're exactly quiet... they'll certainly let you know if a predator comes around.
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Old 08-08-2012, 08:47 AM   #8
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So you begged your wife to give her cock away. Something dirty about that.
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Old 08-08-2012, 10:00 AM   #9
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So you begged your wife to give her cock away. Something dirty about that.
Ahahahahahahaha Awesome.

And JC:
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Old 08-08-2012, 10:04 AM   #10
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its on its way to a chick fil a
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