WTF---Never again... - Page 2

Particle Man · 12-22-2009, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by neebelung

Well since she's outta town, it gives you a chance to calm down about it (cus if I were you, I'd be LIVID right about now). I'd quite frankly sit her down and tell her very honestly (and calmly), "Hey, I acted in good faith by loaning you something that is not only very valuable, but important to me, and I have to admit, I was rather disappointed when I didn't get it back in the same condition that I loaned it to you in...." Give her a chance to speak at this point... then go on and describe specifically what's wrong... give her another chance to speak at this point (the apologies should be pouring out at this point, and hopefully some offers to rectify the problem)....you can determine your response based on what she says....

Just be honest, and calm.

you've taken classes in conflict resolution, haven't you?

Cruzergirl · 12-22-2009, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marko138

These guys are giving you bad advice. Call this person now and tear her shit up! Turn your shit up to 11.

This is what I would LIKE to do. But won't.

OTB · 12-22-2009, 04:33 PM

A good friend of mine told me once after I got all PO'd about some money I loaned another friend and never did get back...I was getting more and more pissed off; especially because I was "in the right".

He told me that if I wanted to keep my friends, never loan them something I couldn't afford to get back; and if I didn't get cash back, or that something I loaned came back damaged, to decide; what was more important; a thing or friendship?

Decide. If friendship is more important, then be silent, forgive her silently for having human faults, keep her as a dear friend and just never loan her anything AGAIN.

If things are more important, then just keep the resentment ball a'rollin'......

My gift to you,
Merry Christmas

Cruzergirl · 12-22-2009, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTB

A good friend of mine told me once after I got all PO'd about some money I loaned another friend and never did get back...I was getting more and more pissed off; especially because I was "in the right".

He told me that if I wanted to keep my friends, never loan them something I couldn't afford to get back; and if I didn't get cash back, or that something I loaned came back damaged, to decide; what was more important; a thing or friendship?

Decide. If friendship is more important, then be silent, forgive her silently for having human faults, keep her as a dear friend and just never loan her anything AGAIN.

If things are more important, then just keep the resentment ball a'rollin'......

My gift to you,
Merry Christmas

I hate you.

Speedracer42 · 12-22-2009, 04:37 PM

I think Neebs summed it up nicely. But I will add my $.02 about the situation as a whole. First its just a bike. And in the grand scheme not super expensive (though 1600 is alot to me personally) I have friends with $8k road bikes. Even my F150 Lariat is just a truck. I would never loan anything out without realizing it might be a total loss. And while I take VERY good care of my own stuff and other people if borrowed. I would never borrow something from someone if I thought for a second they might freak over a scratch. Because lets face it, sometimes shit happens. And in the end its easier to replace stuff than anything else.

HurricaneHeather · 12-22-2009, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marko138

These guys are giving you bad advice. Call this person now and tear her shit up! Turn your shit up to 11.

What is the purpose of that? I am not challenging you, I just want to know what makes you think this is the best solution.

OTB · 12-22-2009, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cruzergirl

I hate you.

I don't know about you, but I LOVE a good resentment...especially when I'm in the right.

A good resentment is like a loose tooth,; you can worry it and wiggle it around; it hurts but it feels so GOOD, too!

Both leave you with an empty hole, though........

karl_1052 · 12-22-2009, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cruzergirl

But... how do I do so tactfully...?

With a shovel to the face.

pauldun170 · 12-22-2009, 04:44 PM

Just put this on her bathroom mirror

neebelung · 12-22-2009, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Particle Man

you've taken classes in conflict resolution, haven't you?

That obvious?

Actually just one... I think it was "Communicating with Diplomacy & Professionalism." *barf*

Seriously though, it's served me well in dealing with pissy people at work.

12-22-2009, 04:33 PM	#13
OTB The Man Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: CrabTown USA Moto: 00 Bimota DB4 Posts: 823	A good friend of mine told me once after I got all PO'd about some money I loaned another friend and never did get back...I was getting more and more pissed off; especially because I was "in the right". He told me that if I wanted to keep my friends, never loan them something I couldn't afford to get back; and if I didn't get cash back, or that something I loaned came back damaged, to decide; what was more important; a thing or friendship? Decide. If friendship is more important, then be silent, forgive her silently for having human faults, keep her as a dear friend and just never loan her anything AGAIN. If things are more important, then just keep the resentment ball a'rollin'...... My gift to you, Merry Christmas

12-22-2009, 04:37 PM	#15
Speedracer42 Kneedragger Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: PDX Posts: 170	I think Neebs summed it up nicely. But I will add my $.02 about the situation as a whole. First its just a bike. And in the grand scheme not super expensive (though 1600 is alot to me personally) I have friends with $8k road bikes. Even my F150 Lariat is just a truck. I would never loan anything out without realizing it might be a total loss. And while I take VERY good care of my own stuff and other people if borrowed. I would never borrow something from someone if I thought for a second they might freak over a scratch. Because lets face it, sometimes shit happens. And in the end its easier to replace stuff than anything else.