if you died tomorrow...

[fasternyou929]

Originally Posted by TIGGER

Hmmm... well I'm not a deep thinker as you all know but if you've learned something then you can put it down to a "learning experience" which is something you shouldn't reget...

I understand what you mean but, okay here's another example, a lot of people wish they had spent more time with their family instead of working. Sounds good on the surface but let's say that you did that and sure you go to every game and see every first step, hear every first word but you you suddenly take ill and die today. How will your kids go to college? There's no money in the bank and the mortgage is due. Your son has to drop out of high school and get a job to help support the family... In this situation you would regret not being a better provide for your family, would you not? There can always something to regret or you can focus on the positive. No matter how successful you are in one area, there will always be room for possible regrets, imho. Regretting something will not change anything, thus it's a waste of time. You do the best that you can, with what you have and hope for the best!

I definitely agree, not all mistakes are regrets and the examples you give above are good ones.

However, I hear people use "learning experience" too often. Some things people already know is wrong, they do it anyway, and write the consequences off as a "learning experience". For example, something that results in job loss, in a crash and/or bodily harm, in hurting a loved one, etc..

To me, a regret is simply admitting to yourself that in your past you could have done something better or would have been better off NOT doing something. I think it has more to do with being honest with yourself about your life choices than it does being negative or dwelling on the past. So, in turn, I always view the "I don't have a single regret in 30 years" posts as a being a little dishonest with yourself.

[askmrjesus]

Originally Posted by fasternyou929

However, I hear people use "learning experience" too often. Some things people already know is wrong, they do it anyway, and write the consequences off as a "learning experience". For example, something that results in job loss, in a crash and/or bodily harm, in hurting a loved one, etc..

Good point.

Sailing around the world- learning experience.

Punching a cop in the face- not so much.

JC

[derf]

you spend one day of your life on your death bed, why not spend the rest of your days enjoying them?

Yeh there will always be regrets, but I'm not sure if I would really change anything, maybee not cut class in high school and actually apply myself more back then is about all.

[Amber Lamps]

Originally Posted by derf

you spend one day of your life on your death bed, why not spend the rest of your days enjoying them?

Yeh there will always be regrets, but I'm not sure if I would really change anything, maybee not cut class in high school and actually apply myself more back then is about all.

I totally agree with you here... the problem is (and I don't know your current status relationship-wise), if you had done things differently in HS you may not have met your wife, whom I imagine that you love. You know? Man, this is too deep for me...

[the chi]

Originally Posted by fasternyou929

I definitely agree, not all mistakes are regrets and the examples you give above are good ones.

However, I hear people use "learning experience" too often. Some things people already know is wrong, they do it anyway, and write the consequences off as a "learning experience". For example, something that results in job loss, in a crash and/or bodily harm, in hurting a loved one, etc..

To me, a regret is simply admitting to yourself that in your past you could have done something better or would have been better off NOT doing something. I think it has more to do with being honest with yourself about your life choices than it does being negative or dwelling on the past. So, in turn, I always view the "I don't have a single regret in 30 years" posts as a being a little dishonest with yourself.

Here is the qualifier. To YOU, things you have done that you could have done differently are regrets.

To others, they arent necessarily so. You're saying the same things, you just classify them differently.

Are there things I could have done differently? Hell yeah. Do I have regrets? Nope. Do I ponder those things I could have done differently? Sometimes, usually right after it happens, and I learn from it, making it to me, a learning experience, not a regret, and I move on.

To ME, a regret is something I look back on, sigh, and wish I would have done it differently. I dont do that, therefore, I, myself, have no regrets.

There is never a time when I peruse my life decisions and think, gee, I shouldnt have done that, I wish I could change it. If I had done differently, I wouldnt have met the friends, loved ones, or any other people or had any of the events I got to have because of a decision I made.

There would have been others, and different, possibly better events, but seeing as I am 100% content with things, I, personally have zero regrets.

[fasternyou929]

Originally Posted by The Chi

Here is the qualifier. To YOU, things you have done that you could have done differently are regrets.

To others, they arent necessarily so. You're saying the same things, you just classify them differently.

To ME, a regret is something I look back on, sigh, and wish I would have done it differently. I dont do that, therefore, I, myself, have no regrets.

I understand it's a qualifier and that's exactly why I put it right at the beginning of the sentence. That post was simply "this is what regret means to me, what does it mean to you?"

I just think people go way out of their way to rationalize everything so they can say "I have no regrets". So I was asking... what does regret mean to the people that say that?

[the chi]

Originally Posted by fasternyou929

I understand it's a qualifier and that's exactly why I put it right at the beginning of the sentence. That post was simply "this is what regret means to me, what does it mean to you?"

I just think people go way out of their way to rationalize everything so they can say "I have no regrets". So I was asking... what does regret mean to the people that say that?

Ah, well I stated what I feel it is. I think alot depends too on your mindset.

Me, I am very much an "in this moment" person. I used to spend all my time thinking about the past. Then I spent all my time worrying about the future. Both were allowing me to lead a less than pleasant and peaceful life, so I make myself live only in the current time, for this day or this week. (Dont get me wrong, I plan ahead financially, etc, I just dont stress about what I dont know will happen).

If I look back, its to remember good things, if I look forward, it for the good things. Regret is to me, a thing of sadness and I dont have room for it in my life.