if you died tomorrow...

fasternyou929 · 07-23-2009, 03:38 PM

If I were to die tomorrow, I'd regret not doing everything I wanted to do sooner. I've done a lot of the things I've wanted to, visited much of the world I want to, but there's still more. But for now, I'm assuming I have time left.

And people crack me up with the "no regrets" Utopian cliche. I don't believe you can live 30+ years and not have a single "maybe I should've done that differently" moment.

HurricaneHeather · 07-23-2009, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fasternyou929

And people crack me up with the "no regrets" Utopian cliche. I don't believe you can live 30+ years and not have a single "maybe I should've done that differently" moment.

I think the mindset it not looking at it negatively. Yeah I have done stupid things I shouldn't have. With the little stuff, it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. For the big stuff, it shapes who you are and therefore not worth regretting. Take it for what it is, learn from in, and move on.

That's just the way I see it anyway.

Amber Lamps · 07-23-2009, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HurricaneHeather

I think the mindset it not looking at it negatively. Yeah I have done stupid things I shouldn't have. With the little stuff, it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. For the big stuff, it shapes who you are and therefore not worth regretting. Take it for what it is, learn from in, and move on.

That's just the way I see it anyway.

Yep, I agree with that. Hell, I could give you a mile long list of things that I've "regretted" at the time but looking back and taking in the big picture, I'm "okay" with my life for the most part.

Example, I shot my mom's boyfriend when I was 16. I "regret" that happened but if I wasn't there he may have killed my mom and/or sister and I would have had to regret that... see what I mean?

IMHO regrets are a waste of time.

fasternyou929 · 07-23-2009, 07:44 PM

So if it's in the past, it's not a regret anymore? Sounds like a coping mechanism to shrug responsibility for poor decisions to me, I mean, what's wrong with looking back and saying "yeah, that was a poor choice"? Is a regret really anything more than that?

ETA: I'm not talking about a situation like shooting someone/defending family, but what about not doing your best in a job interview and losing the spot? Or not dedicating more time to something you enjoy rather than work? Do those not qualify as regrets? Or am I one of the few that have had a few speed bumps in the road of life?

IMHO regrets are not a waste of time if you learn from them. And learning from something doesn't have to nullify it as a regret because it "made you who you are".

askmrjesus · 07-23-2009, 07:58 PM

What's tomorrow, Friday?

That works.

JC

karl_1052 · 07-23-2009, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by askmrjesus

What's tomorrow, Friday?

That works.

JC

Just don't come back on Monday this time.

Smittie61984 · 07-23-2009, 08:55 PM

Well I wouldn't technically feel anything because I'd be dead and I don't believe in an afterlife.

But if I did have an afterlife and time to think I'd have some regrets but would be upset that my life is finally going in the right direction and I'm finally happy for once to have it taken away from me.

askmrjesus · 07-23-2009, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karl_1052

Just don't come back on Monday this time.

I have to.

It's in my contract.

JC

Amber Lamps · 07-23-2009, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fasternyou929

So if it's in the past, it's not a regret anymore? Sounds like a coping mechanism to shrug responsibility for poor decisions to me, I mean, what's wrong with looking back and saying "yeah, that was a poor choice"? Is a regret really anything more than that?

ETA: I'm not talking about a situation like shooting someone/defending family, but what about not doing your best in a job interview and losing the spot? Or not dedicating more time to something you enjoy rather than work? Do those not qualify as regrets? Or am I one of the few that have had a few speed bumps in the road of life?

IMHO regrets are not a waste of time if you learn from them. And learning from something doesn't have to nullify it as a regret because it "made you who you are".

Hmmm... well I'm not a deep thinker as you all know but if you've learned something then you can put it down to a "learning experience" which is something you shouldn't reget...

I understand what you mean but, okay here's another example, a lot of people wish they had spent more time with their family instead of working. Sounds good on the surface but let's say that you did that and sure you go to every game and see every first step, hear every first word but you you suddenly take ill and die today. How will your kids go to college? There's no money in the bank and the mortgage is due. Your son has to drop out of high school and get a job to help support the family... In this situation you would regret not being a better provide for your family, would you not? There can always something to regret or you can focus on the positive. No matter how successful you are in one area, there will always be room for possible regrets, imho. Regretting something will not change anything, thus it's a waste of time. You do the best that you can, with what you have and hope for the best!

fasternyou929 · 07-23-2009, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TIGGER

Hmmm... well I'm not a deep thinker as you all know but if you've learned something then you can put it down to a "learning experience" which is something you shouldn't reget...

I understand what you mean but, okay here's another example, a lot of people wish they had spent more time with their family instead of working. Sounds good on the surface but let's say that you did that and sure you go to every game and see every first step, hear every first word but you you suddenly take ill and die today. How will your kids go to college? There's no money in the bank and the mortgage is due. Your son has to drop out of high school and get a job to help support the family... In this situation you would regret not being a better provide for your family, would you not? There can always something to regret or you can focus on the positive. No matter how successful you are in one area, there will always be room for possible regrets, imho. Regretting something will not change anything, thus it's a waste of time. You do the best that you can, with what you have and hope for the best!

I definitely agree, not all mistakes are regrets and the examples you give above are good ones.

However, I hear people use "learning experience" too often. Some things people already know is wrong, they do it anyway, and write the consequences off as a "learning experience". For example, something that results in job loss, in a crash and/or bodily harm, in hurting a loved one, etc..

To me, a regret is simply admitting to yourself that in your past you could have done something better or would have been better off NOT doing something. I think it has more to do with being honest with yourself about your life choices than it does being negative or dwelling on the past. So, in turn, I always view the "I don't have a single regret in 30 years" posts as a being a little dishonest with yourself.

07-23-2009, 07:44 PM	#4
fasternyou929 SFL Expatriate #2 Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Raleigh, NC Moto: CBR1000 Posts: 2,043	So if it's in the past, it's not a regret anymore? Sounds like a coping mechanism to shrug responsibility for poor decisions to me, I mean, what's wrong with looking back and saying "yeah, that was a poor choice"? Is a regret really anything more than that? ETA: I'm not talking about a situation like shooting someone/defending family, but what about not doing your best in a job interview and losing the spot? Or not dedicating more time to something you enjoy rather than work? Do those not qualify as regrets? Or am I one of the few that have had a few speed bumps in the road of life? IMHO regrets are not a waste of time if you learn from them. And learning from something doesn't have to nullify it as a regret because it "made you who you are". Last edited by fasternyou929; 07-23-2009 at 07:50 PM..

07-23-2009, 07:58 PM	#5
askmrjesus Soul Man Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Everywhere, all the time. Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit). Posts: 6,481	What's tomorrow, Friday? That works. JC __________________ The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.

07-23-2009, 08:55 PM	#7
Smittie61984 I give Squids a bad name Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Fly Over State Moto: 1996 CBR600 F3 (AKA the Flying Turd) Posts: 4,742	Well I wouldn't technically feel anything because I'd be dead and I don't believe in an afterlife. But if I did have an afterlife and time to think I'd have some regrets but would be upset that my life is finally going in the right direction and I'm finally happy for once to have it taken away from me. __________________ lifts - R.I.P.

07-23-2009, 03:38 PM	#1
fasternyou929 SFL Expatriate #2 Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Raleigh, NC Moto: CBR1000 Posts: 2,043	If I were to die tomorrow, I'd regret not doing everything I wanted to do sooner. I've done a lot of the things I've wanted to, visited much of the world I want to, but there's still more. But for now, I'm assuming I have time left. And people crack me up with the "no regrets" Utopian cliche. I don't believe you can live 30+ years and not have a single "maybe I should've done that differently" moment.