Ducati Diva
10-16-2008, 02:46 PM
Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it
was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road
because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the
road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally
helped that little chicken to cross the road. This
experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right
from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really
isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the
chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the
chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground
here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the
road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that
chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross
the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to
cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions.
I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need
some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
won't realize that he must first deal with the problem
on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on
the other side of the road... What we need to do is help him
realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having
problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.
So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and
take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give
this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road
and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because
he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he
walks.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way
that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the
Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped
to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross
it with a toad? Did he cross it with a hare? Did he cross
it with a bear? Didhe check if the road was hot? I kinda
doubt it, I think not! Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told. Just one more
thing I have to say, it's been bugging me to this very
day. If the Chicken is a she, why do we keep saying HE?
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't
you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it
the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is
gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.'
That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as
plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the
first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a
serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the
road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world
crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet
Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra.....
.#@&&^(C%..........reboot !
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it
was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road
because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the
road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally
helped that little chicken to cross the road. This
experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right
from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really
isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the
chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the
chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground
here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the
road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that
chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross
the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to
cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions.
I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need
some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
won't realize that he must first deal with the problem
on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on
the other side of the road... What we need to do is help him
realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having
problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.
So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and
take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give
this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road
and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because
he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he
walks.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way
that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the
Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped
to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross
it with a toad? Did he cross it with a hare? Did he cross
it with a bear? Didhe check if the road was hot? I kinda
doubt it, I think not! Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told. Just one more
thing I have to say, it's been bugging me to this very
day. If the Chicken is a she, why do we keep saying HE?
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't
you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it
the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is
gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.'
That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as
plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the
first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a
serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the
road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world
crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet
Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra.....
.#@&&^(C%..........reboot !
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?