OSP's Mini-Bike Mayhem
 

At the bar the other night... a guy I BS with sometimes in there who is a member of a local stunt team says he has his lil' stunt mini-bike out in his van and is thinking about pissing around with it in the parking lot. A few gin and tonics later, we're out there... and he's rockin' circle wheelies and stoppies and such.

Intrigued by the little machine, I ask him to take it around the parking lot. Made it about 50 feet... Turned, bike started washing out, caught, and I high-sided. It was ugly.

Laying there I was laughing at my stupidity for a second... then I tried to get up. Knee buckled and I knew something was very wrong. Knee felt like a balloon full of rocks... I dragged myself over to the curb, straightened out my leg (which hurt very much bad). Ambulance arrived and I'm in the ER within a half hour.

Sit around the ER for a little while... pain not much of a factor, until knee is moved. Go to X-ray... Knee cap shattered into 3 big pieces and doc expects there to be a bunch more that cannot be seen directly. Now I have to wait to be sent to another hospital for surgery. All in all... I sat in the ER for 13.5 hours, until being transferred. They did have me doped up every couple hours with some Dilaudid, which was nice.

Long story short, 24 hours after getting to the new hospital, I'm prepped for surgery. I remember getting the 'cocktail', then waking up in the recovery room. I don't remember getting wheeled to my room, but I woke up next to some guy who was like 10,000 years old and was a snoring machine. Four screws and a bunch of wire, I am together.

The incident happend around 1am on Thursday... I got out of the hospital around 1pm yesterday. I get to lay on my couch for like 2 weeks until my follow-up visit... and there's no guarantee I am going to be cleared to return to work at that time. Estimated recovery time... 3 months.

At least I learned a few things...
1) I'm still a dumbass
2) Fat guys have no business on mini-bikes
3) Alcohol and two wheels don't mix, regardless of how small those wheels are
4) If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.

:panic: Damn dude. Here's to a quick and full recovery. :beers:

Shit. I'm sorry, but I'm laughing my ass off right now. Hope you get better soon. Jackass.

650mg of percocets make me immune to your inane teasing... or is it that everyone else has been laughing at me too.

I honestly feel bad for you and hope you recover quickly...but knowing you and picturing this is pretty funny.

It's hilarious until I try to move... then it's much, much less funny.

:lol: Ok this part is funny...the rest isn't though.

That sux man. Hope you recover fully and before too long. I've been layed up and on crutches for a few months in the past and it was NO fun. It wasn't my knee but my femur...ankle and foot...yep it sucked.

Good Gawd man! :sorry: Hope you heal up soon and some pretty nurse (they are all pretty when your high I know)gives you some therapy!

I know so many guys who race supersport and open class bikes that get seriously F'd up on little machinery. You just never expect it from something that looks so innocent.:idk:

Let us know your progress!

Holy shit that sucks. At least you survived and can tell the story. Hope your recovery is a quick and painless, but if it has to be long and painful than I hope you get sweet drugs.

That's it. I didn't respect it... Didn't even consider it a danger. DUMBASS.

I got percocets... but they don't really fuck me up... the IV of dilaudid in the hospital ruined me in the hospital. Unfortunately they wouldn't let me take that home.